Prego is selling a surveillance device that records your family dinner conversations and sends them to the Library of Congress. It sold out immediately.
Not The Bee | May 02, 2026 | Mister RetropsPrego Pasta Sauce announced they were teaming up with StoryCorps to create a device that would store pasta while also eavesdropping on, recording, and, according to some reports, uploading your family’s dinner conversations to the Library of Congress.
It gets even crazier.
The devices sold out almost instantly! (Probably picked up by some guys in an unmarked van).
To be fair, though, Prego promised the devices won’t upload your conversations without permission.
…on me it would record how I support Trump 100% while also condemning the Dims on every front with a minimum of cursing.
Prego huh? That’s what we used to call gals who got pregnant…El Pregos from the hispanics and just Prego for me and the gringos.
So what you’re telling me is that all the previous years when I’ve been talking to my food, it hasn’t been listening to me? I’m confused. Please advise.
Italian meal. Be careful what you say, like letting slip which family snitch is going to be offed next.
Rival company: “Eat our sauce and we’ll fuggedaboutit!”
Italian: “Make your own. What’s the matter with you?”
D.A.: “Confess! We’ve got you on tapioca!”
Great on cassette-rolls.
Library of Congress: “What the heck was Oppo eating? This tape sounds like it’s in Klingon!”
“Leave the guns, take the cannoli…”
Motto: “Talk About Being Well FED!”
To be fair, though, Prego promised the devices won’t upload your conversations without permission.
“Use of this device for the storage of pasta implies consent for the recording and transfer of ambient sounds”.
–fine print in downloadable user guide.
For dinner tonight: Collect-Callimari.
What Your Pasta Sauce Will Record: …
Back in the day it would have recorded ‘Gene and the Doomsday Glaciers.’
But my Sony Cassette Recorder did just fine….the bass line wasn’t very pronounced but the cow bell was killer.
What Your Pasta Sauce Will Record:
A lot of sharing some Garlic bread if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Trump said Mad Max Waters crotch reeks of dead fish heads, garlic and Tabasco Sauce at meetings.
Guy: Next we’ll do toothpaste in the bathroom with filters to eliminate running water noise. That’ll get those NAZI bastids.
Other guy: Been there, doing that. The horror. The HORROR. Like a battlefield of operatic ducks for cannon balls.