33 Comments

  1. Star Wars Holiday Special riffing contest

    the Elijah test (1 Kings 18) using their health care plans as offerings

    Scat music

    Yodeling

    Laff-a-Lympics (with O’Malley as the third team)

    Survivor: R’Lyeh

  2. “I’ll take ‘Conventions’ for 1000, Alex.”

    “Here’s the question: What mechanism in the Democrat Party actually selects their candidate?”

    “Ah… What are democratic primaries?”.

    “No, I’m sorry… The correct answer is SUPER DELEGATES!”

  3. Dump all their supporters in the middle of Death Valley naked. The first one that walks out declares the winner. Sort of like an arid Hunger Games. Has the advantage of culling at least 50% of those worthless bags of meat from the gene pool (although they’ll still be able to vote Democrat for several more years).

  4. Hillary & Sanders Are Tied in the Polls. The Tie-Breaker…
    …is not happy about that. And you must’ve heard wrong: it’s not “Tie Breaker” they call her.

    … will be at 3 a.m.: it’s a “winner take call” kinda thing.

    … will be how the delegates look when they come out of the spin cycle.

    …. which Hillary asked for will be a good old-fashioned Cointreau Toss.

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