29 Comments

  1. . . . was so distraught that he took three putts to hole his ball from only twelve feet out.

    . . . sliced his drive badly (since Obama is left-handed, his slice goes to the left).

    . . . high-fived Raul Castro.

  2. … held his fist in the air, saying “Viva La Revulsion!”

    … pointed out that to be fair not all Americans looked like his wife and spent money like his family.

    … gave Raul a CD of Obama speeches, and threatened to sue him for plagiarism.

    … said you can’t put lipstick on a bay of pigs.

    … elevated the national threat level to Cuba Gooding Senior.

  3. …tried a popular local cocktail: the Cuba Bajo El Comunismo. It’s a rum and coke without the coke, because Coca Cola is a capitalist drink, and without rum, because nobody can afford rum under communism.

  4. …met with the head of the local Bleak Lives Matter detention camp for a sympathy hug.

    …opened free trade talks between North Korea and Cuba.

    …said Cuba looked a lot shorter in Jerry Maguire, then showed him the money.

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