Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Help her find an excuse – Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Help her find an excuse – Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
those meddling kids
Roh roh!
…there were some way to make flyover country angrier.
…she had known the difference between Minors and Miners. It turns out, Miners (coal) can vote.
…pigs could fly…
…she were anyone but Hillary.
…she could have gotten the “deplorables” vote.
…there were more people working instead of out voting.
…Bill wasn’t such a letch, the media didn’t kvetch, and she personally didn’t make us wretch….
…she had selected a little higher on The Donald and Melania’s gift registry.
…the voters hadn’t figured out that Huma’s last name was pronounced ‘Abetting’.
…she were more likable.
…or even just less odious
Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
people with room temperature IQs were allowed to vote
she ran in Venezuela, where her policies are working so well
the electoral votes in Obama’s other 10 states were counted
…she’d been able to decode ‘All your base are belong to us’ in time.
Huma hadn’t blown it for her.
(rim shot)
She’d listened when Sheriff Brody said, “You’re gonna need a bigger vote.”
…we were already in the fascist state she planned on creating.
…our Founding Fathers had not foreseen such a wretched situation coming to pass.
Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
she was a man, baby.
she was Donald Trump.
all those Californians lived in Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.
Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
…she took her cough /seizure medicine.
…she was in no ways tired.
…in her dreams.
…Obama hadn’t convinced so many leftists that he had already destroyed the country.
…half of the male Democrat voters couldn’t decide which heels best matched their Tuesday go to votin’ dress.
…the DNC hadn’t shared that wifi password with Vladdie @PutinPootie.commiebear.
…..her email password didn’t match her luggage.
So the combination is… one, two, three, four, five? That’s the stupidest combination I’ve ever heard in my life! That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
What a helmet…
she’d been sober, less corrupt, more honest, in better health, less arrogant, and more competent.
Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
…she did not already serve as POTUS. “We are the president.” 1998
Hillary would be President-Elect right now if only…
… the Election landed on Opposite Day.
… ALL YOUR VOTE ARE BELONG TO HER!!!!
…the Founding Fathers weren’t geniuses!
…the Reverse Vampires, in league with the Lizard People just put the right amount of flouride in the water to make them vote for her.
If everyone in America was deaf, dumb, blind, and equipped with a below-70 IQ.
…it weren’t for Bassily Nakoula’s YouTube video.
Madonna’s offer had appealed to men who weren’t already in the tank for Hillary.
Or if Katy Perry was an option.
…57 million of her supporters weren’t seen wearing “I showed up a Satanic ritual thinking I was voting for Hillary and all I got was this lousy blood splattered teeshirt” blood splattered teeshirt.
…so many people hadn’t thought her campaign posters were just a highly effective birth control method.
…the Pope hadn’t declared that anyone not Hillary is a Patron Saint of the deplorables on election day.
. . . the deplorables weren’t so gosh-darned irredeemable.