Archive of entries posted on 22nd December 2016

7 Old TV Shows Due for a Reboot

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Rumor has it there’s thoughts of reviving “All in the Family” and “The Jeffersons”.

But will Archie still have a fondness for one-eyed Jewish black men?

But will Archie still have a fondness for one-eyed Jewish black men?

Might be interesting. Make Archie Bunker Japanese & have him make bigoted remarks about all other races, faiths, colors, & nationalities. I’m picturing George Takei ranting about his “Polack” son-in-law, and I’m already giggling.

And George Jefferson was always just a black Archie, anyway, so make him Korean. He’ll still hate Archie just as much, but very few people will get why.

Since we’re rebooting, here’s a few others they may bring back:

Three’s Company – A very gay Jack Tripper has to convince his very gay landlord that he’s straight so that he can live with a gay couple and not make it seem like the weird threesome thing it actually is (Polygamy? Ewww! How deviant!)

Adam 12 – Malloy and Reed are both black and spend their entire shifts trying to keep white officers from summarily executing unarmed black suspects. Black Lives Matter meets Blue Lives Matter, and the winner is social justice.

Bosom Buddies – Kip & Henry are once again cross-dressing men living in a hotel for women, but this time they do it openly, and they must fight oppression and force their co-residents to accept their lifestyle, ease their restrictive residential rules, and bake them cakes.

Emergency! – The crew of Los Angeles County Fire Dept. Station 51 are back, except now all the firefighters are woman. And they still handle every situation perfectly despite having an inherent lack of upper body strength. And even though they were accepted under lowered physical standards, they never actually have to carry an overweight adult from a burning building, so they’re just as good as any man. Equality!

Bewitched – Samantha’s not an actual witch with magical powers anymore, just a practicing Wiccan whose bizarre rituals (and even bizarrer relatives) make life embarrassing and difficult for her advertising executive husband. In the end, instead of explaining everything away as a publicity stunt like in the old show, Darrin chastises his Christian co-workers for not being more open-minded and accepting or other religions.

Charlie’s Angels – It’s still beautiful women fighting crime, but they’re all in wheelchairs, and spend most of the show complaining about the injustice of curbs and small flights of stairs. Also, Charlie is an artificial intelligence voiced by Stephen Hawking.

The Dukes of Hazzard – Week after week, the part-Native-American Roscoe P. Coltrane (played by racial xenomorph Lou Diamond Phillips) systematically arrests every cousin & uncle in the Duke family for hate crimes.

If you know of any other reboots in the works, drop ’em in the comments.

Random Thoughts: Christmas and Trump

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As part of my work setup, I have a MacBook Pro, a Surface Pro, and an iPad Pro. Really makes me feel like some sort of… not amateur.

The obvious problem in our presidential election system is not the electoral college but what made our choices Trump or Hillary.

So we’re really going with “fake news” as the big threat facing this nation? Our problems just keep getting dumber.

f the work you can do for a business is worth less than $15 an hour, it should be illegal to hire you.

Seems kind of insane how DNC forced Hillary as the nominee, but it makes sense as a devious Russian plot to get Trump elected.

If left want people to get outraged at something about Trump, they need to quiet down every so often. They’re like dogs constantly barking.

Maybe this is just 80s nostalgia talking, but I don’t quite trust those Russians.

Before Obamacare, you could go bankrupt if you got sick. After Obamacare, you go bankrupt from premiums before you get sick.

My only concern about Rex Tillerson is how many white papers he’s written about extracting oil from irradiated countries.

So are we finally going to have that war with Russia all the 80s movies promised us?

The left will do anything to stop Trump other than introspection.

We’re past the time for game theory. It’s time for game facts.

I’m willing to give Drilly McOilman a shot. Businessmen don’t like global conflict; it gets in the way of da money.

I liked the optimism in Rex Tilleson’s released statement. “All the world’s oil is mine! Sweet sweet oil!”

Know how every Christmas the president dresses up as HoHoHo-bama and takes the toys of rich children? Never found out what he does with them.

The Hillary biopic should end with her realizing she didn’t need all that ambition when she had the love of who she needed most: Wall Street

If I’ve noticed any pattern to things lately, expect Trump to increase his lead due to faithless electors.

Trump rushes out of his meeting with Kanye West
“Is it too late to change my pick for Secretary of State?!”

Every day Trump will get more awful and his critics will get even more awfuler.

Usually, $10 would be a steal for a brand new Mario game, but for some reason it seems like a lot on iOS.

Is everyone still talking about Trump? Election is over; time to forget about that guy.

Prediction: We’ll all grow to love Trump, and he’ll be reelected in the largest landslide. And then we’ll all die in a nuclear holocaust.

If Trump is illegitimate because 54% oppose him, was Bill Clinton even more illegitimate?
Or am I being silly to pretend any of these sorts of things are actual arguments?

You’re not going to make any progress continuing to focus on how awful Trump is. You need to focus on in what ways you’re worse.

Let’s calm down. We’re all going to get through this.
Well, most of us will.
A good number will.
There will be survivors.
Hopefully.

I looked and there is no talking Luke Cage tree ornament that says “Sweet Christmas!” We are a broken society and Trump is our ruler.

Why would you assume I’ve heard of all the minor reindeer but not the most famous reindeer of all? You’re why we have Trump.

I need to know more about what holidays you’re celebrating before I’ll decide whether I want them to be happy or not.

“You may remember me from such films as Spawn and Project: Alf. I’m here to tell you DISMANTLE DEMOCRACY!”

Do people remember that 57% “voted against” Bill Clinton, or is that down the rage memory hole?

I’m raising funds to recount the votes in the electoral college. I will need $70 million dollars. This is not a scam.

Congratulations to Colin Powell for coming in third in the presidential election.

Daughter has started pronouncing her Rs but it’s caused her to drop any Os that are in front of an R which is endlessly amusing.

Now that we’re absolutely certain Trump is going to be president, can we stop talking about him?

Why $15 an hour and not $14? Or $16?

Trump has to have a vulnerability. How was Wario ultimately defeated?