
[source]
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”
— Clement Clarke Moore, 1822
China is preparing to conduct a flight test of a new missile capable of destroying satellites in space.
Wow… nearly as effective at destroying American space readiness as Obama’s NASA budgets.
[High Praise! to The Babylon Bee]
Russian Hackers May Have Interfered With Vote On Church Potluck, Local Man Suspects
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Just a suggestion, but you might want to click over to the 12:05 point for a few seconds so that you can get a good look at what the finished product looks like and have a better understanding of which parts go where. It’s not completely intuitive.
[Chill Out Edit – 1000 Hours in 12 Minutes] (Viewer #161,672)
On a personal note, I found the background music more annoying that soothing. The video works OK with the sound off.

It’s been a rough couple of months for Progressives, but now there’s reason to celebrate!
Five long years in the making, billions of taxpayer dollars appropriated, now, at long last, you can finally sing along to a brand new batch of Non-Denominational Gender-Fluid Gluten-Free Winter Solstice Seasonal Favorites like these…
I’m Gettin’ Trumpkin for Christmas (Middle America is Mad!)
Away in My Safe Space
Hack the Russian Agents Ping
Have Yourself a Merry Little Recount
O Come All Ye Faithless Electors
Arrest This So-Called President, He’s Causing Me Dismay!
I’m Seething with the Thought of Another White Privilege Christmas
Did You Hear the Fake News That I Heard?
Not-So-Silent Fight for 15
Cop Cars Roasting as We Open Fire
Rhonda the Pink-Haired Hippie
Grandma Got Run Over by a Basket of Deplorables
…And many, many more!
And be sure to check out our previous editions…
Occupy Santa Claus Lane (2011)
Undocumented Immigrant Operators are standing by, so help save the Planet by ordering right now!
(Additional Carol ideas, as always, are welcome in the comments!)
Joe Biden said he wouldn’t rule out a possible presidential run in 2020.
OK, but pull out immediately if someone in the Clinton camp says it’ll be “a walk in the park“.