Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
replace the pigskin football to try and draw in the coveted Muslim demographic.
is buying ratings suspenders for every player on every team.
is requiring all players to get ratings implants.
I hear the Lingerie Football League doesn’t have to worry about sagging…
Doesn’t the NFL have enough problems with suspensions?
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
return to the old rule allowing quarterback dismemberment when tackled outside the pocket.
Or inside the pocket, for that matter.
I thought inside the pocket they were limited to maiming.
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
will send retired players to your house to watch the game with you. AND YOU WILL WATCH COMRADE!
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
free hookers and blow
…has hired Hillary Clinton’s ace campaign team. (but not Carlos Danger)
…is sending in the WOLF!!
…is hoping that a looming player strike will take the heat off…
… is going to name themselves “Trump” so the president will talk continually about how great they are and how they have the greatest ratings in the Universe.
In the Universe.
To boost their sagging ratings, the NFL…
will dress players up like Power Rangers, oh wait. That’s Thursday Nitro already. Never mind.
…have disgruntled players take a knee…to the groin. Administered by Chuck Norris.
…split screen airing also shows live Swedish bikini mudwrestling games.
… will have halftime shows with former fans throwing softballs at dunking tank targets, the seats containing the Nuts Who Take Knee. Extra points for hitting the player directly.
… should get rid of Roger Goodell and put a quality product back on the field.
…punt returners will be armed with paintball guns. Running backs can use smoke grenades and throw down ball berrings. Cornerbacks and tackles can use flashbangs on wide receivers and quarterbacks.
(This started out as a joke but now I’m really liking where it’s going)
…arm each thug with a loaded Glock 19 and play kill the man with the football.
Down to the last Boy Scout.
Tim Tebow gives a lecture on the proper way to kneel. Players follow suit.
Strippers
…only air games on slow days, on the Weather Channel. With halftime cooking shows.