You don’t protect freedom with government regulation. That’s like trying to protect yourself from Sauron with the one ring.

I don’t know why Reese’s Fast Break isn’t more popular. You take a Reese’s peanut butter cup and give it a bit more substance with nougat. It’s perfect.

They already tried Net Neutrality saying all nets had to be equally capable of catching all marine life and it nearly killed the fishing industry.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: Everyone other than me is dumb and should go to jail.
No, wait, then they only one left to run the prisons would be me and that sounds tedious.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: Anyone charged with a crime should go straight to jail with no trial. But jail walls should be made out of paper and be really easy to escape.
I didn’t say this was my opinion — just that it’s a not very popular opinion seldom seen.

Whenever the government says it’s doing something for the benefit of consumers, 99% it’s cronyism and they’re actually doing it for the benefit of a corporation.

So how many more women does Franken have to grope before we can stop pretending the ethics committee is anything other than a stalling tactic?

I’m really curious what Obama’s reaction was upon seeing Trump elected. Devastation at his legacy being crapped upon? Or, like everyone else, did he have to laugh at the disintegration of Hillary’s inevitable win?

“I’m thankful for…”
President Trump jumps out from under the table
“ME! You’re thankful for ME!”

Stuffing is soggy bread! How is that not disgusting? It sounds like the sort of thing people would eat in a universe where Trump is president.

Everyone should have something to be thankful for. Like if you’re a hobo, be thankful for the stick to hang your bindle from. Think if you just had to hang your bindle from your hand; that would suck.

Racists get what they deserve: an entitled, arrogant, douchebag nephew who comes to Thanksgiving armed with charts.

We need to learn to judge who is a good person and who is a bad person without factoring in politics at all.
You can teach a parrot to spout any political opinion you want. There is no morality in it.

Important question: The two big white buttons on the front of Mickey Mouse’s pants—are those functional or just decorative?

1980 Winter Olympics
Al Michaels: “Do you believe in miracles?!”
Co-Announcer Neil deGrasse Tyson: “No.”

The guy who can dominate the news cycle with every half thought out tweet probably is the person of the year.

The Nazi stuff seems like an even dumber version of the militia scare from the 90s.

The best you can say on Trump’s standards on sexual predators is that he‘s no worse than the Democrats.

I hope the US Capitol isn‘t near any schools.

Will the new slogan “Sex crimes are only for Democrats!” be enough to stop Roy Moore?

I feel like one of the biggest threats to liberty in this country is that Disney princesses have trained women to love monarchies.

Stupid Amazon. Despite selecting “No rush” shipping, I still got it in two days.
This actually was a problem. It caused a mix up resulting in my wife accidentally opening a Christmas gift I ordered for her 🙁

The Democrats winning in Alabama would take two things they’re not willing to do:
1) Hold their own politicians to some sort of standard on sexual misconduct
2) Nominate someone who is a little less “ABORTIONS FOR ALL!”

Overall, I thought The Punisher was really good without being quite great. Jon Bernthal was great, though, as was his pairing with Micro.
Reminded me of Luke Cage in that the main bad was just too cartoonish while the secondary bad guy (who I think they set up for being the main bad next season) was really compelling.
Also, I could do without all the soft-core porn.

For those wondering, you have to wait until the last episode of The Punisher to finally hear Frank Castle’s famous catchphrase “It’s punishering time!”

I feel like I’m constantly arguing with Nintendo to let me give them money.
“Please make more NES Classics so I can buy one from you!”
“Please, please add a virtual console to the Switch so I can once again buy games I bought from you decades ago!”

I hope The Punisher season 2 is about Frank Castle seeking revenge after being pwned online.

I honestly have no idea what Seb Gorka is beyond some wacky internet meme.