Now panicking people across the southern states: a wave of encounters with giant alligators that stopped traffic, invaded porches, and even approached a Target store.
I don’t understand how this could happen. Quick! More “no alligators” signs!
Now panicking people across the southern states: a wave of encounters with giant alligators that stopped traffic, invaded porches, and even approached a Target store.
I don’t understand how this could happen. Quick! More “no alligators” signs!
Source is CBS, huh? I’m not going to waste my time. I can already assume that the giant alligators are not off the normal size distribution curve, and the cause is implicitly or explicitly global warming. And that the alligators are rigged to explode.
Anyway, I’d be more worried about encounters with giant tailgaters.
I remember Iraq and Kim Jong
Media newsies had so much fun
Holding banquets, throwing stones
Had an old gold floozie to take Trump from his throne.
But the biggest distraction we’ve got
Is now a thing called the Alligator shock
With CNN, working ’round the clock,
We were hyping and Skyping “Alligator Shock!”
I can’t get no sad distraction
I can’t get no sad distraction
‘Cause I try
And I spy
And I pry
And I cry
“Gimme Gitmo!”
“Gimme Gitmo!”
When I’m driving, NPR
Andro-“myn” comes on the radio
Banshees tellin’ me more and more
About some baseless information
Supposed to fire my administration
I can’t get woke
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey!
That’s what, Ese?
I can’t get no sad distraction
I can’t get no sad distraction
‘Cause I try
And I spy
And I pry
And I cry
“Gimme Gitmo!”
“Gimme Gitmo!”
When I’m watchin’ my TV
And a “myn” comes on to tell me
How white my privilege be
But I must be the Klan ’cause I done provoked
Giant Alligators, dontcha see
I can’t get no
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey!
Ask NSA:
I can’t get no information
I can’t get no information
‘Cause I try
And I spy
And I pry
And I cry
I can’t get no
I can’t get no
When I’m deridin’ us around the world
And I’m doin’ diss, and I’m signin’ that
And I’m tryin’ to re-make some girls
Tell me baby better come back, in maybe Newsweek
‘Cause you see they’re on a losing streak
I can’t get woke
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey!
That’s my S.A.
I can’t get no, I can’t get no
I can’t get no sad distraction
No sad distraction,
No sad distraction,
No sad distractions!
pffft!..they are nothing compared to the sharknados!
They screwed up and put up “No crocodile” signs.
See ya later alligator.
“CO2 later, alligator!”
— Social justice worrier
Crock O’ Denial Dundee