… become a moderately glib progressive with some juice, offer a panoply of unattainable sophisms to your adoring public, then wait for the inevitable nomination…
…If it were opened up to a wretched and wildly inexact field like, say, economics. And then to have it established in the 1980s by a bank to commemorate its 300th anniversary and merely given in honor of Nobel, like, say, the one for economics. Not a funny answer, but we’re on to you, Paul Krugman. You and your “Nobel” Prize.
Dr. Jill: Joe, why have you been standing in the middle of the back yard for the last three hours.
Joe: I’m winning a Nobel Prize.
Dr. Jill: How do you figure?
Joe: One of the qualifications is that you have to be out standing in your field.
(Editorial license used to make Biden’s actual labored comments readable.)
…be Xi Jinping’s lackey at the WHO when China releases a novel virus. Ensure you make every wrong step in reacting to the disease, ensuring it becomes a global pandemic. Win the love and affection of millions.
… huff enough of a noble gas to pass out…
To be a 16 year old girl mindlessly regurgitating far left talking points.
Harvey Award!
To knock over one of the milk bottles with a softball.
… become a moderately glib progressive with some juice, offer a panoply of unattainable sophisms to your adoring public, then wait for the inevitable nomination…
Find one of the golden tickets.
Or send Arthur Slugworth after it…
…to give the governor a harrumph!
Get yourself appointed to the Nobel Committee and then kill all the other members.
Peace Prize here I come!
Find someone who holds a Nobel Peace Prize, and defeat him or her in single combat.
(Hey, they got a peace prize. How likely are they to be a good fighter? Plus, they’re usually old.)
… discover what happened to all those ships that sailed off the edge of the Earth.
…pretty much the same thing you’d do to win the Lenin Prize, or an Oscar.
…develop an over the counter injectable bleach.
…dismantle a Toyota Corona while drinking Corona.
Discover a virus that allows government officials to install a progressive dictatorship…
Oh wait, perhaps the scientists at the Wuhan lab already have that one sewn up.
…If it were opened up to a wretched and wildly inexact field like, say, economics. And then to have it established in the 1980s by a bank to commemorate its 300th anniversary and merely given in honor of Nobel, like, say, the one for economics. Not a funny answer, but we’re on to you, Paul Krugman. You and your “Nobel” Prize.
… spend all your time on Twitter, Facebook, and comment sections, posting about how much you love science and hate science deniers.
Prove that Orangeman bad.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
buy enough Cracker Jack.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
claim you stopped the rise of the oceans.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
be the last man standing.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
successfully parse a sentence by Joe Biden.
That wouldn’t be very easy.
You’d deserve an actual prize if you could do that.
Of course, if you could do that you’d find out it was still idiotic gibberish.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
work with Arnold Rothstein.
Create a devastatingly destructive new weapon. Hey! It worked for Nobel!
Simply cut out the required 5 UPC codes from the back of your cracker jack boxes and send them along with a self addressed stamped envelope.
An easy way to win a Nobel Prize would be…
Dr. Jill: Joe, why have you been standing in the middle of the back yard for the last three hours.
Joe: I’m winning a Nobel Prize.
Dr. Jill: How do you figure?
Joe: One of the qualifications is that you have to be out standing in your field.
(Editorial license used to make Biden’s actual labored comments readable.)
Proclaim you’re offended.
… snuggling up to Paul Krugman.
Invent a cheap and almost endless supply of toilet paper
It’s called your hand Buckeroo.
Branded,
Sittin’ on a toilet bowl.
What do you do if you’re stranded?
And you can’t find a roll.
Just change your name to Obama…
…take one part communism, stir, let them eat cake.
…herd immunizing for essential workers, destroy capitalism, print some money, blame Trump and/or the Jews.
…Jack boots, Usurpation, Socialism, Tyranny, Incompetency, Corruption, Euthanasia of dissent. Well, it’s a good start.
Engage in hostilities and sue for peace.
Not Neil Ferguson.
…be Xi Jinping’s lackey at the WHO when China releases a novel virus. Ensure you make every wrong step in reacting to the disease, ensuring it becomes a global pandemic. Win the love and affection of millions.