34 Comments

  1. …when facing down Russia and saying “I know what you’re thinking, did he fire six hundred nukes at China or only five hundred?”, and he really can’t remember.

    …I wake up from a coma and find out this year is even worse than I’ve been dreaming.

    …he quits getting his teeth whitened at Shake Shack after hearing a rumor that he is not invincible.

    …his plane crashes in Manhattan, the IMAO crew is asked to rescue him, and it’s the middle of a Firefly marathon.

  2. … whether he can overcome Biden’s double digit lead in the polls, as the pollsters double check their results with President Dukakis, President Gore, President Kerry, and President Felonia von Pantsuit.

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