Handlers Pledge To Do Better at Keeping Him Away From Microphones

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Jeez, I was only kidding, with a made-up headline, but then I read this:

Biden Sends 5,000 Troops to Afghanistan, Blames Trump for Taliban Resurgence
Washington Examiner | Aug 15, 2021 | Timothy Nerozzi

President Joe Biden released a statement Saturday from the White House blaming his decision to surge U.S. troops to Afghanistan to combat the Taliban’s surging land acquisition on the policies of former President Donald Trump.

Both sides are surging, huh? Sounds ominous. Who’s our Surgin’ General? Are our troops well-enough versed in Critical Race Theory?

Biden said in the statement that he would send an additional 1,000 troops to Afghanistan to complement the 1,000 troops already in the country and the 3,000-troop surge he announced last week, a defense official told the Washington Examiner. The president said the move was necessary . . .

There was a surge last week, too? Cool.

Obviously, no reporter dared ask him to clarify what the hell he was talking about.

“Golly,” Says Fauci. “How Many False Negatives Do You Think That Means There Are Walking Around?”

“Drinks All Around,” Proclaims Senator, Wiping Tears of Mirth From Eyes

Supreme Court Objects To Not Being Lied To, Just Out of Respect for Tradition

If The Bandit was only afraid of women and the police, why did he spend so much time getting their attention?

“I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without constructive purpose.”

— Spock, “The Squire of Gothos”