Straight Line of the Day: If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: … Posted by Oppo on 15 August 2022, 12:00 pm Straight Line of the Day: If you get sentenced to 9 years In a Russian prison for carrying illegal drugs, don’t worry: … 1 1
… You’ll get a nice, cozy little space to share with a roommate named … What’s Russian for “Tiny”?… 1 Reply to this comment
You have the right to remain silenced. . At least you aren’t as bad off as a Jan 6th protester! 14 Reply to this comment
No..you will stand for the Russian anthem..you WILL stand straight..and you will own nothing..and be happy… 1 Reply to this comment
…Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and all the hags on The View will in no way be inconvenienced. 4 Reply to this comment
All your pro-American stances will provide fuel for a groundswell of support. 4 Reply to this comment
You may not get any U.S. political news for 9 years, but not much will really change. 2 Reply to this comment
IRS late-payment penalties will only continue to accrue; they won’t repossess until you get out and they can throw you in jail. 3 Reply to this comment
The FBI will sift your wardrobe for any exonerating evidence while you’re away. 1 Reply to this comment
Once Trump wins in 2024 you know he’ll get you, just to piss of the liberals. 3 Reply to this comment
. . . while incarcerated, you can still vote dozens of times in every blue city in America 11 Reply to this comment
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: … your gasoline and groceries costs won’t suffer from inflation. 2 Reply to this comment
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: … recessions aren’t noticeable in prison. 6 Reply to this comment
Also, Democrats assure us that 9 years of negative growth is not officially a recession. Unless Dominion slips up and lets a Republican get into the White House. 3 Reply to this comment
… you’ll be out in time to see if Alec Baldwin is ever charged with any crime. 4 Reply to this comment
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: … climate change will have destroyed the Earth in 8 years. 2 Reply to this comment
If you get 9 years in a Russian Prison for smuggling drugs dont worry… You can still play basketball ..but only outside..whenever there isnt snow..so about 3 weeks of the year… 3 Reply to this comment
…just tell yourself you’re a client at a busy tattoo parlor. …the husky Siberians are color blind. …the Witness Protection Basketball League will give your old number and anonymity back when you get home. 1 Reply to this comment
…the abuse and malnutrition will kill you in less than half that time.
…the Black Panther will save you..if you’re Black.
You’ve got Dark Brandon on your side!
… unless they book you into the Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn suite…
… just don’t accept the complimentary ice pick…
… You’ll get a nice, cozy little space to share with a roommate named … What’s Russian for “Tiny”?…
… the White House is certain to generate a hashtag concerning your plight…
You’ll have your MIranda warnings read to you. Oh wait…
You have the right to remain silenced.
.
At least you aren’t as bad off as a Jan 6th protester!
You won’t have to stand for the Russian national anthem.
And may not be able to.
No..you will stand for the Russian anthem..you WILL stand straight..and you will own nothing..and be happy…
…the WNBA will still be as big a draw as when you were playing.
…Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and all the hags on The View will in no way be inconvenienced.
All your pro-American stances will provide fuel for a groundswell of support.
You may not get any U.S. political news for 9 years, but not much will really change.
Borscht Night breaks up the other six days of gruel.
IRS late-payment penalties will only continue to accrue; they won’t repossess until you get out and they can throw you in jail.
Global Warming will make Siberia like a paradise, right?
The FBI will sift your wardrobe for any exonerating evidence while you’re away.
“Vlad the Impaler” is a joke.
Once Trump wins in 2024 you know he’ll get you, just to piss of the liberals.
… the White House certainly won’t…
. . . while incarcerated, you can still vote dozens of times in every blue city in America
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: …
your gasoline and groceries costs won’t suffer from inflation.
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: …
recessions aren’t noticeable in prison.
Also, Democrats assure us that 9 years of negative growth is not officially a recession. Unless Dominion slips up and lets a Republican get into the White House.
… you’ll be out in time to see if Alec Baldwin is ever charged with any crime.
If You Get 9 Years In a Russian Prison for Carrying Illegal Drugs, Don’t Worry: …
climate change will have destroyed the Earth in 8 years.
If you get 9 years in a Russian Prison for smuggling drugs dont worry…
You can still play basketball ..but only outside..whenever there isnt snow..so about 3 weeks of the year…
…just tell yourself you’re a client at a busy tattoo parlor.
…the husky Siberians are color blind.
…the Witness Protection Basketball League will give your old number and anonymity back when you get home.
… be happy.
That was too easy.