#1. You should work remotely from home… by request of the interns.
#2. You must be inoculated against puns, bathos, sarcasm, and litotes.
#3. Have you watched Blazing Saddles?
#4. No members of the royal family allowed. They smell funny.
#5. Five is right out.
#6. Six-foot distance must be maintained between you and something six or more feet away.
#7. There is no rule #7.
#8. Stop calling Oppo “Apu.”

I might comply, just as soon as I can get one of these interns to look up bath hoes and lids for totes for me.
I was worried you were gonna go all Old Testament there for a second…
Why couldn’t #7 be ‘Similes suck’?
The current #7 is as beautiful as an Easter lily, why would you want to change it?
We haven’t successfully stopped calling Basil Basil, so I don’t believe 8 is enforceable.
No mandates. New intern dates instead.
Is “inoculated” the same a “s**tfaced?
If you try for an Obscury and fail you will be awarded 1 Tofu.
You got a deal I love that stuff more than quiche.
It’s not our fault if the thing is so obscure that you fail to recognize it for what it is… eh… nevermind. In that case you wouldn’t recognize the need for tofu either.