What to do if ICE approaches you in Texas, according to immigration experts
San Antonio Express News | 01/15/2026 | Alexis Simmerman
I like the way they tailor it to “in Texas,” specifically.
What to do if ICE approaches you in Texas, according to immigration experts
San Antonio Express News | 01/15/2026 | Alexis Simmerman
I like the way they tailor it to “in Texas,” specifically.
What To Do if ICE Approaches You in Texas:
“Hey dudes, which restaurant around here has the best hot sauce?”
This week, many Texans will be driving into ditches when the ice arrives.
Explain that you are a Greenlandic asylum seeker who tans easily, not Somalian.
Jump right into your Cheech and Chong routine with a buddy, start signing autographs.
Run and keep running until you can start drinking and driving. Again.
If they ask “Do you have a gun?”, do not reply “What kind do you need?”
What To Do if ICE Approaches You in Texas:
Wonder, “What the Hell am I doing in Texas?”
… slap some of it on your neck – it’s damn hot out here, son!
It is unlikely ICE agents would approach me because I rarely go near the Oklahoma border.