Many people are trying to sneak out of Mexico into America. This is very understandable, because, if someone suddenly threw me in Mexico, I would probably sneak in here too. I’m not good with geography, so I don’t know what country is south of Mexico and would be scared to sneak over there… as I bet are many Mexicans! The only problem is that America is just not set up to deal with that many Mexicans. Mexico has dealt with large numbers of Mexicans for a long time now and are simply better prepared for that. So how do we stop so many people coming here from Mexico?
The main idea is to improve conditions in Mexico so people aren’t so desperate to leave, but let’s think outside of the box for a minute. What if we made things worse in Mexico? You’d think that would cause more people to flee, but not if we make it bad enough.
Now, I’ve known many immigrants in my day, and they were all smart, hard-working people… people we’re glad to steal from other countries. Those immigrants were all from China, Cuba, Vietnam, or the former Soviet Union. So what is similar with those countries? Yes, they’re all Communist. If Communism has taught us anything, it’s that it makes great American immigrants.
Communist countries really suck, but they also won’t let people leave. Everyone is supposed to love their stupid “dictatorship of the proletariat” or they’ll be executed. Since it’s so hard to leave those countries, only the smartest, most determined people will make it out alive. And what happens when they come here through improper channels? They’re declared “refugees” because they’re escaping oppression. Mexicans are just escaping a sucky country, and your country sucking isn’t enough to get refugee status. But, if you’re country was Communist, hey, let’s help set you up in America, you poor bastards.
So, obviously, overthrowing the Mexican government and replacing it with a Communist regime is a super fantastic idea. Now, how to do that isn’t exactly my expertise, but maybe you Mexicans should just start talking about the dissolution of private property and hopefully hotter heads will prevail. When you strike, I’d recommend doing it during siesta because no one will expect it. If Vicente Fox gets all angry as you execute him for being part of the bourgeois, just remind him that he had supported the plight of illegal immigrants in the past, and this is what needs to be done.
When it’s all over, we should have a nice Communist dictatorship south of us closed to the outside world, and, if that doesn’t solve a ton of problems, I don’t know what can.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Stealing Ideas from Your Wife: She’s Useful for Other Things than Cooking, Cleaning, and… You Know” and “The Communist Guide to Weight Loss”.
“If Communism has taught us anything, it’s that it makes great American immigrants.” That should be on one of your shirts.
I’m from Canada, while we’re not exactly communist, it sometimes appears to be a distinction without a difference. But, our borders are open!
Would I be a refugee?
Think of the cold war that it would cause. I miss the cold war. Jobs for everyone in defense and we get cool movies about fighting mexicans.
That’s a great idea, however, Hillary Clinton couldn’t possibly run for President in both America AND Mexico at the same time.
Here’s another idea: why not just have Congress pass and the President sign a law that says everyone in Mexico is an American citizen? Wouldn’t that allow us to conquer Mexico without an invasion? Would Europe whine? Would we care if they did?
we may have a problem with illegal immigration from Mexico but at least we have one country that borders us where the men still have there balls in-tact. our other neighbor has sissified it’s men, taken away their guns and held the french and other euroweenies up as some sort of “role model”…LOL!!! girly men every one of them…and have you looked at their women lately…scary!!!
Hmmmmm,Canada has as many hot babes as they do trees.As a matter of fact I will look at some,since I’m on the net and all.Nekkidcanuckiesess.bcool2damapleleafers.Iamo
Crud .IMAO….
Instead of filling in their tunnels we should just extend them to Canada. Problem solved.
Mexicans would never become private property haters because it takes away the capital they need to trick their low-riders.
I’m gunna peemp my ride, mang!
Cant we just take all the border signs and turn them around?
just an atempt to write,”what comes around, goes around”.
//just an atempt to write,”what comes around, goes around”.//
Well you failed miserably, you couldn’t spell ATTEMPT and your carma dialogue doesn’t make any sense either. In the meantime, I think there’s a universal law against communist countries where “beans” are the main staple of food. I think you have to grow bicycles or wheat to be communist don’t you? Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense either and I have NOTHING to back it up. Must be channeling Douglas Adams or something.
When are you going to be a featured columnist on Townhall, your almost as good as Michelle Malkin!
“Carma” is actually spelled “karma.”
//”Carma” is actually spelled “karma.”//
NOT in MY world Johnny boy. Mind yer own!
Jimmy Boy… Number Six is a Canadian. So is Boomer. They are both pretty good looking chicks. Finally, Sci-Fi eye-candy not generated by PC’s.
P.S. I’m jonesing for the new Galactica season.