Police: Truck with 100 Monkeys Crashes, Some of Them Missing
Yahoo News | Fri, January 21, 2022
DANVILLE, Pa. (AP) — A truck carrying about 100 monkeys was involved in a crash Friday in Pennsylvania, state police said as authorities searched for at least three of the monkeys that appeared to have escaped the vehicle.
The truck carrying the animals crashed with a dump truck in the afternoon in Montour County, Pennsylvania State Police Trooper Andrea Pelachick told the Daily Item.
The truck had been on its way to a lab, Pelachick said.
Authorities have asked residents who might see the monkeys to call state police…
Straight Line of the Day: Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
…at the United States Capitol Building
…in AOC’s bedroom.
…being Pole Dancers at a South Philly strip club working free for banana daquries.
Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
registering to vote Democrat.
Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
working on their great American novel.
. . . making policy decisions at the National Institutes of Health, and well overpaid
… wherever fine monkeys are sold…
Tell me there’s a BOGO going on…
At Apple’s largest competitor… The Banana Phone Store.
… wherever there is injustice, or an opportunity to fling poo…
…jumping on the bed.
…Here we come, walkin’ down the street
We get the funniest looks from every one we meet
Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees and people say we monkey around
But we’re too busy singing to put anybody down
We go wherever we want to, do what we like to do
We don’t have time to get restless, there’s always something new…
Any time, or anywhere, just look over your shoulder
Guess who’ll be standing there
Canvassing for the Congressional Blaque Caucus
. . . solving crimes using the company name Adrian’s Monkeys.
. . . in Ghislaine Maxwell’s cell with a rope, while wearing “I’m With Her” sweatshirts
28 days later . . .
…in major newsrooms across the country.
…looking for typewriters.
… at a drive-thru, ordering Big Macaques.
… using their arrest warrants to get past TSA.
… using a dog costume to ride a train.
Heading to NYC so they can vote in the next election
Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
working as extras on Lancelot Link.
Gettin’ jiggy at Basil’s party pad. Or, at the residence of his neighbor, Basil.
…just off visiting Fauci.
…riding as jockeys at the emu races.
Monkeys ride ostriches, capisce?
In congress… no wait that’s a bunch of Baboons.
…doing lab experiments on humans.
…but probably won’t.
…doing shines.
Getting drunk on Margaritas while practicing circle back roundhouse kicks
Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
Drunk and climbing up the elephants trunk.
…having fun in barrels.
Apparently, there are only a few things more fun than that.
Monkeys have escaped! They may be found…
Having horrible experiments conducted on them in Dr. Fauci’s secret underground laboratory.