Inside the World Excel Championships (Yes, You Read That Right) The excitement is off the charts at the Olympics of competitive ‘spreadsheeting’
Wall Street Journal | December 11, 2023 | Robert McMillanDon’t blame Clippy For many, Excel is something to be avoided after work hours. But the omnipresent office spreadsheet software has spawned ranks of data geeks who see Excel as a sport. And here they were at the biggest table of them all: the Microsoft Excel World Championship, held at the HyperX Arena Las Vegas in the Luxor Hotel & Casino. (One floor down from a show by the comedian Carrot Top.)
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“The passion, the energy, the excitement that you bring to spreadsheeting. You are legends,” said Microsoft’s Johnnie Thomas at the beginning of the face-off. “I hope your calculation engines are on full throttle and your fingers are feeling nimble.”
Down here on the Tunis Creek we have annual fried crickets eating contests but doubt if it will ever be an Olympic sport.
It will be when the WEF gets its way.
“Excel-lent” – Montgomery Burns
I’m more excited about the Access championships, to be held in Des Moines in March, I believe…
Marathon Collation…
The 100-meter System Back-Up…
Freestyle Editing…
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
The Dewey Decimalathalon
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
JavaScript Judo
Synchronized Fonts…
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
HTML
HandlingHurlingThe postmodern heptathalon:
Spreadsheeting
Sheet spreading
Meat eating
Short sheeting
Weed whacking
Knick knocking
Paddywhacking
Word? A bit of nibble byting.
Reprogramming falling edge triggered college students to be rising edge triggered.
Subnet unmasking.
risk-v arm wrestling.
Surface mounting.
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
Collation tabling.
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
PowerPoint Endurance. How long can you stay awake during state mandated DEI training by the HR supervisor?
What Other Geek Olympic Sports Could They Think Up?
Long Distance Troubleshooting- your IT team must diagnose a tech issue as described by a baby boomer over the phone, and properly guide her through the steps necessary to correct the fault.
If no team is able to accomplish this within the set time frame, the group with the fewest number of attempted suicides during the competition will be declared the winner.
I just hope the concession stands serve Megabytes and Terra Tots…
Bud Lights delivered to your workspace by a nonbinary beverage delivery being..
Papercut avoidance
The Swingline Stapler Smash