ATLANTIS (AP) – A US oceanographic vessel had its underwater drone stolen by a Chinese warship literally right in front of the eyes of the American crew, a US defense official told CNN.
The USNS Bowditch was sailing about 100 miles off the port at Subic Bay when a small boat from a Chinese warship came up alongside and took the drone.
America wishes its underwater drones looked this cool.
The US got no answer from the Chinese on the radio when the US told the Chinese that the drone was American property.
President Obama downplayed the incident, saying it was a “misunderstanding”.
“I heard,” said Obama, “that our Chinese friends were playing with their water-powered speeder-bike in the area, and just got a little confused. I mean, the drone didn’t really look like their toy, but when you’re in a watery place like the ocean, the sun can play tricks on your eyes and make you all confused about what is and isn’t your property.”
“So,” continued Obama, “in order to avoid any incidents that might upset our nuclear-armed, #1 trading-partner and debt-holder, why don’t we just call it a ‘winter holiday present’? Keep it, play with it, strap a nuke to it and float it towards Taiwan the next time they call Trump – whatever you want! It’s yours!”
Speaking at a press conference, China’s chief diplomat, Sum Tin Wong, gave a prepared statement: “Why you spy on us with drone? Why you talk to Taiwan? Our drone now!”
“Also,” added Wong, “we hack emails and leak to basement nerds, not Russia. Why you no give us credit?”
President-elect Trump refused to publicly comment on the situation, but did recently tweet “Chinese untrustworthy thieves who steal anything that’s not nailed down. On the other hand, they REALLY know how to build a wall.”
Awesome newsish streak you’re on lately, Harvey!
Not satisfied, Obama felt like apologizing again a half-hour later.
China to Obama: “We like you! We make up island homelands in the Pacific that didn’t exist too!”
Oppo, if Harvey (et al) keeps this up, IMAO could – once again – be the best FAKE NEWS site on the conservative blogoweb. How special is that during this era of all-important, fake news? I mean, if we don’t have FAKE news to compare to REAL news, then how will we ever know the difference, especially when Fake News sites get banned by Fecebook and Gaagle,etc.?
Next up, the Walrus?
I second that recommendation — Walrus’s last piece was grand. I, for one, certainly don’t have the patience or creativity to write like that. Which is why we will always miss Lactose.
Maybe such a deluge of good stuff will even [dons Jimmy voice] get FrankJ to write more pieces.
Send Walrus to the inauguration as a roving reporter!
If you like our drone, you can keep our drone…
I’ll do what I can, but can’t promise too much. Like any good reporter I’m staying as drunk as possible.
Hunter XXX Thompson
I almost believed it but then I saw the “Merry Christmas” line so I knew it had to be fake news.
If it was a “drone” for mapping the bottom of the ocean, why wasn’t it at the bottom of the ocean? That would make it really hard to steal. Maybe it’s like that drone that
crashed inObama gave to Iran.Apparently you haven’t got the memo yet. The DNC didn’t get hacked, some script kiddy went phising and Podesta bit.