LIVE: President Obama delivers remarks about improving health care quality and access for veterans. http://ofa.bo/q0WN

@BarackObama

“You know… that thing I could’ve done any time in the last 6 years and didn’t.”

“ICYMI: President Obama visited mom-and-pop shops in historic Parkville, Missouri: http://ofa.bo/f0Xf

@BarackObama

“Which lost an entire day’s revenue, because the Secret Service blockaded all the actual shoppers with real money out of the area. Stimulus!”

Climate change will make the intensifying droughts across the West even more extreme and dangerous: http://ofa.bo/a0aq #ActOnClimate

@BarackObama

“California will become one gigantic Mountain Dew commercial!”

“EPA climate rule economically feasible, study says” More from @thehill: http://ofa.bo/g0aC #ActOnClimate

@BarackObama

“Oops! Sorry… that link was to an Onion article with the same title.”

Check it out: Last week, @OFA volunteers celebrated the success of health care reform. http://ofa.bo/g0aK

@BarackObama

“And this week, they’re all jobless because their employers went bankrupt paying Obamacare premiums.”

Retweet if you support cutting dangerous carbon pollution.

@BarackObama

“If you don’t retweet this, you must want to see baby pandas strangle on soot!”

Getting covered made Jason so happy he wanted to tell everyone: http://ofa.bo/e0de #ThisIsWhy

@BarackObama

“But he spent all his money on his premium & can’t afford to pay his phone bill, so he’s been disconnected and can’t tell anyone.”

Earning the minimum wage while raising a family shouldn’t mean living in poverty. It’s time to #RaiseTheWage: http://ofa.bo/a0dR

@BarackObama

“Or try those free contraceptives I’m making other people buy for you.”

FACT: 97% of scientists and NASA accept the science of climate change. #ActOnClimate

@BarackObama

“Coincidentally, they also accept money from a government with a vested interest in a specific conclusion on the matter.”

In the weekly address, President Obama discusses the importance of affordable higher education: http://ofa.bo/i0dF #CollegeOpportunity

@BarackObama

“College is where you learn that the government has a monopoly on the student loan industry, so please borrow generously.”

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Hillary demanded the “Presidential Suite” at a Vegas hotel. She also demanded…

“I want my daughters paid the same as your sons for doing the same jobs.” — President Obama #OpportunityForAll #StandWithWomen

@BarackObama

“Which is why I’ll never let them work for me.”

“Let’s make sure anyone who is working full time isn’t living in poverty.” — President Obama #OpportunityForAll #RaiseTheWage

@BarackObama

“#OrLowerThePovertyLine”

“We want to make sure the young dad on the factory floor has a shot to make it into the corner suite.” — President Obama #WorkplaceFairness

@BarackObama

“Where he will be told by the CEO that the company is shutting down because Obamacare bankrupted it.”

“Any time Congress wants to do work with me to help working families, I’m right there.” —President Obama #WorkplaceFairness

@BarackObama

“…vacationing at the Vineyard.”