Group Claims Credit for “Incident on the Hudson”

 

A rebel group of geese today claimed credit for what many had already speculated… that Canadian Geese were indeed responsible for the downing of the US Airways flight 1549that ended up in the Hudson River.  Said their leader, Goosey Gusee-eh, “We wanted to take credit for trying to down this airliner, eh. For too long, the man has pushed as aside like a bunch of useless birds, eh. We hope that today we made a statement that we will fight back with everything we have, even with Suicide Birders. We hope that by making our statement early, that we will get credit for this evil act instead of the Bush Administration or the Zionist conspiracy, eh.”

Congress immediately proposed legislation recognizing the plight of these Canadian Geese and even debated allowing them to pracice Avi-arah Law.

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17 Comments

  1. “We hope that by making our statement early, that we will get credit for this evil act instead of the Bush Administration or the Zionist conspiracy, eh.”

    No, actually, by tomorrow morning, the 911 truthers will come out with the statement that Bush flew a radio controlled goose (created by the CIA and built by Skunkworks for the secret government air force), directly into the engine of the airplane, by direct orders from Israel, so Bush can halt Obama’s inauguration, declare martial law and become dictator for life. It would have to be a synthetic goose created by the CIA, because a real goose couldn’t melt steel! It was all for another imperialist war for oil! If she weighs the same as a duck, she’s made of wood, and therefore, she’s a witch! Burn her!

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  2. Of course you know that now other splinter groups will start in on a copy cat series of terrorist incidences. The Rhode Island Red Chickens, Pink Flamingos, and even more heinous the Wild Hares, who have been underground since their attack on former President and humanitarian house (chuckle) builder Jimma’ Carter. Interesting that he seems have the same level of expertise in that as he did as president, go figure.

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  3. Don’t buy into the lie that this is a splinter Gooser group, Sean. They all think this way, even if they don’t actively fly themselves up. Where are the condemnations from the “mainstream” fowl groups? Ducks Unlimited? Nary a quack. ChicFaLay? Silent as a hen at dawn.

    The Anseriformes are not an Order of Peace, but of Hate. We should build a Virtual Fence to keep them in Canada.

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  4. Eros wins the prize, Seanmahair is second! Fantastic comments, I must say.

    This final act, whether intentional or not, was this goose’s swan song. Just take a gander at the damaged caused by a couple of misled Canucks.

    Please, hate the message and not the merganser.

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  5. so Bush can halt Obama’s inauguration, declare martial law and become dictator for life

    #4, that would be SO cool a happening, for no other reason than liberal heads would truly explode

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