Drop a Box on It
So what has been BP’s big solution to the oil spill so far? Drop a box on it!
I guess they realized that’s the sort of solution a four-year-old would come up with, so they changed it up a little. They decided they’ll drop a box on it… USING ROBOTS!
I like that concept — take a low tech idea and then try to spice it up by gratuitously throwing in something futuristic. So maybe in the future there’s an oil spill on land, and everyone is like, “What will we do about it?” And BP will be like, “We’ll throw a tarp over it.” And everyone will say, “Well, that’s not much of a solution.” And BP will be like, “You didn’t let me finish: We’ll throw a tarp over it… FROM SPACE!” And everyone will be like, “Wow! What an awesome idea!”
Of course, the robots dropping a box idea didn’t actually work, but box dropping robots are a new technology. As the technology improves, scientists estimate that half of all our problems in the future will be solved by robots dropping boxes on things. The other half will be solved by violence, same as always.
(18 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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May 10th, 2010 at 11:13 am
We can’t just blow crap up, can we?
May 10th, 2010 at 11:22 am
The problem with robots that the things they do best are:
- rampaging and destroying stuff with death rays.
- build cars.
- explore space and the bottom of the ocean.
And that’s pretty much it. Getting them to drop boxes is way out of their skill set. If you want boxes dropped you hire a mover.
May 10th, 2010 at 11:41 am
Robots are also good for warning Will Robinson.
“Drop a box on it” is a good solution to many problems. Obama is going to say something stupid “Drop a box on it!” Clinton (either one) is making another pass at an intern. “Drop a box on it!” A Mexican is jumping over the border fence. “Drop a box on it!” See, it works.
May 10th, 2010 at 11:41 am
And it’s best if the boxes are dropped by robots.
May 10th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
I haven’t been following this. Is the plan to drop one of those annoying pop-up dialog boxes on the leak? And then it will get so annoyed by endlessly pressing “OK” that it will stop leaking?
May 10th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
I think the commies had the right idea by nuking their oil leaks. And this way, Obama could get rid of one more nuclear warhead – make the hippies (his base) happy. Everybody wins.
May 10th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Robot junk in a box.
May 10th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Ernie, we should take it one step further, nuke the hippies. Now everyone really wins. The hippies are happy because there are fewer nukes, we’re happy because there’s fewer hippies. Plus the environment can really throw a party celebrating fewer smelly dirt spreading hippies.
May 10th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
BP may not have solved the oil leak problem, but they have coined some wicked new slang. Got a problem? Drop a box on it! Girlfriend sold all your baseball cards. Drop a box on it! Neighbor’s dog won’t stop barking in the middle of the night? Drop a box on it! And those box droppin’ robots? Give them two turntables and a microphone and Drop a box on it!
May 10th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Chopadichoffmy, Adadictomy, & Dropaboxonit.
May 10th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Giant Robots with boxes of Giant Feminine Hygiene Products drop them on Mother Natures messes. Or not. Probably better to just forget I brought it up.
May 10th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Has Obama tried apologizing to the oil leak for past transgressions committed by greedy, selfish Americans? That’s his usual course of action.
May 10th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Drop a box on it. Hee hee! Dirrrty….
May 10th, 2010 at 8:02 pm
The box got clogged with methane hydrate crystals, the same stuff that may have caused the original explosion that destroyed the drilling platform in the first place. (Think of dry-ice, only it burns.)
If the ocean bottom around there is covered with the stuff, forget about the oil, just start dredging for methane hydrate – fuel crisis solved! (or we get run-away global warming, depending on which expert opinion you believe.)
May 10th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
He cant shut his wifes or bidens holes he certainly wont know how to get this one.
May 11th, 2010 at 4:38 am
If I had read more carefully, I would have noticed that storm1911 beat me to the drop a box on it gag. Sneaky devil.