Random Thoughts

Posted on February 7, 2011 9:10 am

Didn’t we spend a trillion on stimulus? How do you spend a trillion and not even make a couple jobs?

That sounds like a challenge. “Spend a trillion dollars but don’t create any jobs.” I couldn’t do it. Only Obama figured out that puzzle.

So what’s it with liberals and their supporting sex slavery and wanting to lynch black people?

New Obama plan to reduce unemployment: Murder anyone seeking a job!

Is this win the future rhetoric conceding we lost the present?

Ever notice how inefficient Roman numerals are at expressing large numbers? Everyone should really start using the newer numbering system.

So, technically, who won the future: the Eloi or the Morlocks?

“Obama is not a natural born citizen! From his mother’s womb he was untimely ripped!”

Never got why liberals are so upset that Palin resigned as governor. If Obama resigned, I’d love him forever.

Got my pay this week in an actual physical check. I guess this is what working in the 20th century must have been like.

Just realized I have no idea how a file system works at a low level and haven’t even thought about it. Makes me feel like a silly silly person.

We’re having record winters and its also supposed to be hottest year ever. That means if we fight global warming IT WILL GET EVEN COLDER!

I bet when we get to the future there will be a big sign saying, “Sorry, but you did not win. Please try again.”

Obama: “We must work on our Sputnik moment until the future cries, ‘You sunk my battleship!’ Then we’ve won.”

Winning the future is not easy. It involves a lot of time travel and reprogramming terminators.

“It’s your kids, Marty; something has got to be done about your kids. They’re not winning the future.”

When Jim had to strand Michael in The Office, why didn’t he just ask the cameraman to tell him what happened?

Missed the first half of the Super Bowl, but I tuned in just in time for the Black Eyed Peas!

So the Black Eyed Peas are basically the Dane Cook of music.

So when exactly did “pop” become this electronica/rap hybrid?

Why is everyone focused on a football player being an accused rapist? Didn’t we have a president who was one? Wasn’t a big deal.

So HuffPo is 315 million times more valuable than Newsweek? Still doesn’t say much.

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30 Responses to “Random Thoughts”

  1. MarkoMancuso says:

    Didn’t we spend a trillion on stimulus? How do you spend a trillion and not even make a couple jobs?

    We have a POTUS who does something equivalent to putting a lot of money in a wheel barrow and setting it on fire.

    And several million people think this is a good thing.

    Is this win the future rhetoric conceding we lost the present?

    Duh.

    Random thought: Way to go, Coach Tomlin. Nothing excites me for football like Phil Collins.

  2. Iowa Jim says:

    Missed the first half of the Super Bowl, but I tuned in just in time for the Black Eyed Peas!

    So the Black Eyed Peas are basically the Dane Cook of music.

    Super Bowl halftime shows over the past several years have done the impossible. I now long for halftime shows featuring marching bands or Up With People. I though that I would never write the preceding sentence.

  3. DamnCat says:

    Got my pay this week in an actual physical check. I guess this is what working in the 20th century must have been like.

    Just realized I have no idea how a file system works…

    You open the file cabinet drawer and insert your files alphabetically. That’s what working in the 20th century was like.

  4. ussjimmycarter says:

    I saw the half time show also. What exactly was THAT? It wasn’t music in any definition of the word that I can think of. The lime green and orange creeps were like creepy and the costumes that the Black Eye Peas were something between Captain Crunch and awful!!! Every year the NFL digs deeper into bad for it’s half time show. And the singing of The National Anthem was a disgrace! Someone should have run out from the crowd and ripped her vocal chords out on National TV! That guy would be like a major Hero now!

    Obama and the Federal Reserve don’t even know where the Trillion Dollars went. But no biggie. It’s only a Trillion Dollars. in Washington these days a Trillion Dollars here, a Trillion dollars there and pretty soon we are talking about a Bazillion Dollars. That’s when the politicos stand up and say ENOUGH! We can’t just be going around throwing a Gazillion Dollars at stuff! We have to get back to the days of throwing a Trillion Dollars like we use to!

  5. Fred Rabbit says:

    Here’s tip for anyone who’s interested in some good Old fashioned entertainment: Go to a gun show being held in one of the larger entertainment venues in the bigger cities, there is a good chance that there will be some other events taking place concurrently.

    Trust me, there is nothing more entertaining than watching the hoplophobic masses gawk at the gun show attendees walking around with their rifles and other gun related equipment.

  6. Carolyn says:

    Everyone should start using the ‘newer’ numbering system? It’s called the ARABIC numbering system, INFIDEL!

  7. Live Free Or Die says:

    So if you didn’t watch The Souper Bole until 1/2-tyme, you missed Krysteena Agwilera sing her moving rendition of ‘The Star Mangled Banner’.

  8. Live Free Or Die says:

    The Eloi and the Morlock are the logical outcome of millenia of Vegen-ism(Eloi), and Carnivore-ism(Morlock). Now who wants to carve the Eloi?

  9. Live Free Or Die says:

    To the Silly, Silly Person: Low Level Filing Systems are for Dwarves & Midgets, duh!

  10. Dohtimes says:

    Cristina AguiAkbar was a terrorist plot worked to perfection.

    Huffington keeps finding ways to get empty bottomless maws to feed her fat face.

  11. Ernie Loco says:

    Just realized I have no idea how a file system works at a low level and haven’t even thought about it.

    You’re not missing anything exciting. It’s kind of interesting to see how things work on that low of a level, but not worth taking an Operating Systems course where you have to write your own FAT12 operating system, just to learn about it.

    When you’re up at 3 in the morning and your pointers are messed up so your forking process uses all the memory on the test server and the other students all come to kill you, you’re going to wish you just took your curiosity and quietly strangled it.

  12. Jimmy says:

    The halftime show was so nauseating, I went outside and tilled my garden. Then I forgot about the game entirely. And when I was done, my black eyed peas were up.

  13. Son of Bob says:

    “So the Black Eyed Peas are basically the Dane Cook of music.”

    The only redeeming quality of the Black Eyed Peas: They weren’t Lady Gaga or the Beiber girl.

  14. Bruce Buckler says:

    I hardly recognized Fergie during the half time show. The last time I saw her, she had red hair, a British accent and was doing weight loss commercials for Jenny Craig, or something.

  15. Idahoser says:

    it’s snowing so much now because we banned hairspray in the seventies. Imagine how bad things will get if they ban SUVs.

  16. Chestertonrocks says:

    That sounds like a challenge. “Spend a trillion dollars but don’t create any jobs.” I couldn’t do it. Only Obama figured out that puzzle.

    Sounds like a movie sequel: “Barakter’s Trillions”

  17. Duke of Earl says:

    Another way to reduce the unemployment numbers: stop counting 2 million people

  18. shiggz says:

    By George you’ve hit it Frank, for days I have tried to pin down a movie character like Obama so I could say it and other people who isolate themselves in left-wing media could start to see it also….

    BREWSTERS MILLIONS!

  19. Burmashave says:

    No, there is too much. Let me sum up:
    – The $1 trillion went to friends
    – Each year, I forget that the Puppy Bowl is on during half time
    – The sign in the future will just say “Squat”
    – Winning Squat will be a victory over winning “Jack Squat”
    – I worked for NYS during the 80′s. Filing was done by English as a non-language immigrants.
    – If you’re still waiting for your claim, it’s been filed in Vietnamese order.
    – No amount of putting air in my tires will win the future.

  20. Lolziter says:

    Read the end of the book, the Eloi become fairy-type thingies, and the Morlocks become giant crab creatures. I don’t think either of them can be called a winner.

  21. Bantha_Fodder says:

    ALL YOUR FUTURE ARE BELONG TO US!

  22. Big Al says:

    On that trillion dollar thing… I could have made a few builders happy. Maybe a yacht company or two… Yes indeed I could have stimulated a whole bunch of jobs come to think of it. I could have been… a hero. A big fat happy hero.

  23. TerribleTroy says:

    The black eyed peas looked like something out of a crappy Wesley Snipes movie. Took one look and tried to turn em off before they could blind the eyes of my 11 yr old. It was too late. He looked at me and said “What the? Those people are ghey!”

  24. arik says:

    Was it just me, or was there actually booing during the Star Spangled Banner? I agree she pretty awful singing it, but I honestly couldn’t hear whether the crowd was booing or just trying to drown her out with their own rendition.

    I hit ‘pause’ on my DVR at the beginning of the game, worked for a half hour, then ‘fast-forwarded’ through the whole nauseating half-time spectacle. I also skipped most of the crummy commercials (the ones for TV shows and most of the car commercials), so I was caught up to “live action” right at the two-minute warning.

    So, all in all, pretty good.

  25. Basil says:

    If they’re going to associate with Huffington Post, shouldn’t they change their name to Un-American Online?

  26. 4of7 says:

    Next year they should just show the words to The Star Spangled Banner on the Jumbo-tron and have the crowd sing it ‘Sing-Along-With-Mitch’ style.
    (That’s like Karaoke, for you young whipper-snappers.)

  27. Proud Infidel says:

    Random thought:

    On order to preserve sanity during the Super Bowl do the following:
    - Do not turn on the TV until kick off. No more getting all angry and crazy over some no talent botching the Star Spangled Banner. Not to mention missing out on the Gazillion hours of pre-Super Bowl coverage of the same over hyped crap over and over.
    - Unfortunately, there’s no way to avoid the amazingly dumb and pointless Superbowl commercials. However, hitting that mute button quickly will at least spare you from hearing them.
    - Run, don’t walk, away from the TV (don’t forget to mute that sucker) the moment the second quarter ends. Thus you avoid hearing some no talent band like the Black Eyed Roach Droppings or something dumb like that convincingly prove that music is dead and starting to smell rotten. Go eat something, hit the can and get ready for the second half.

    I did all of the above and really enjoyed the game. And hidden in all that mindless stupidity there was a pretty darn good football game, you know.

  28. EdthePastor says:

    Do I have to learn Russian if we have our Spudnik moment comrad?

  29. Terry_Jim says:

    Good advice, P.I., though I did like Frank Calliendo’s impression of Shaq and Barkley discussing the Super Bowl.

    I accidently saw the “Mr & Ms. Pea and the Solid Tron Dancers” show for a minute.

    How did they get all those Phillipine Prison Dancers paroled for the Game?

  30. SeanF says:

    When Jim had to strand Michael in The Office, why didn’t he just ask the cameraman to tell him what happened?

    Ha! I said the same thing! My mind works just like Frank’s!

    Crap.

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