When I heard that one of the princes in England was getting married, I just kinda shrugged and said, “Okay.” I didn’t know it was actually supposed to be a big deal. I mean, making big deals out of royalty — isn’t that for third world countries? Didn’t that go out of style when everyone got electricity and indoor plumbing? Plus, with the prince we’re talking about a possible king of England. Yeah, Britain used to be a big deal years ago with a giant empire, but now it’s more of little tourist island — a Jamaica with lots of boiled food. “Come gawk at how we still have royalty; how quaint is that? And look, they’re using a typewriter — double quaint!”
What does royalty even do in a modern country? If we had them in America, they’d live in Disney World and greet tourists. But in England it’s like a whole country trying to keep up a fairytale fantasy. I guess it’s tradition. Still, I hope they try to get some actual use out of their royalty — like maybe have them stand on the street corner and wave signs for local businesses.