When I heard that one of the princes in England was getting married, I just kinda shrugged and said, “Okay.” I didn’t know it was actually supposed to be a big deal. I mean, making big deals out of royalty — isn’t that for third world countries? Didn’t that go out of style when everyone got electricity and indoor plumbing? Plus, with the prince we’re talking about a possible king of England. Yeah, Britain used to be a big deal years ago with a giant empire, but now it’s more of little tourist island — a Jamaica with lots of boiled food. “Come gawk at how we still have royalty; how quaint is that? And look, they’re using a typewriter — double quaint!”
What does royalty even do in a modern country? If we had them in America, they’d live in Disney World and greet tourists. But in England it’s like a whole country trying to keep up a fairytale fantasy. I guess it’s tradition. Still, I hope they try to get some actual use out of their royalty — like maybe have them stand on the street corner and wave signs for local businesses.
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We do have royalty. Our Beloved God-King Pharobama. He’s the commie with his head up Oprah’s enormous turd cutter.
This is why we threw the British out of America. So that we don’t have to “celebrate” every time one of these super rich self serving idiots get’s married. The bride is a total babe by the way, but within about 5 years the marriage will be on the rocks and we will all be treated to THAT tabloid nonsense.
Nope, we went with a Republic! Were We The People would elect a President of The United State who would be selected By The People to wisely run the Executive Branch of…hey wait a minute! Maybe having a King wouldn’t be so bad! Someone like Obama would never make it not being of the “Ruling Class” so we could avoid that! I’m rethinking the Republic thingy. I’m going to propose that Minnesota succeed from the Union and I shall become King of the Nation of Minnesota! I will have like a monster Palace built for me and will have super yachts and I want that one car that’s 1,000 HP. Nobody can pull me over since I’m the King. I shall be referred to as Your Most Magnificent and Omnipotent Most Wise and Cool Sir! Muwhahahahahahah! You guys can come visit me as long as your bow deeply and curtsie for you gals…and some of you guys (Jimmy)
This is what the British royalty do:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/1340465/Palace-breaks-with-tradition-in-musical-tribute.html
It still brings tears to my eyes. I’ll never forget it, and I don’t think that anybody else here should.
This whole event worries me. King Barry and Queen Barney can’t be far behind.
Nevah!!</b?
The royals have what the parasites here want. Super welfare. because they are royalty, the British gubmint gives them millions in welfare each year. The English taxpayers, what few are left are on the hook for that in perpetuity. You would think that with all that family money, they wouldn’t need welfare, but, the type of society they have dictates that they don’t discriminate against those able to pay their way. God forbid one of them should actually be required to get a real job.
And for those who are wondering, No, barry does not have enough class to be invited to a royal wedding , nor become royalty.
Hmmm. So, Ussjimmycarter likes curtsies from guys? What’s a royalty to do but curtsie back? While you’re down there, ussjc, watch out for objects sticking up from the floor.
Hey Ussjimmycarter can I be the head of the offical state religion? All I want is a suped up version of the PopeMobile except I want defensive capibilities. Lasers or rocket launchers. Maybe a few intelligence enhanced dinosaurs who will eat any who fail to curtsey to us oops I mean you. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Failure to properly bow or curtsie shall lead to immediate throwing of one into the stocks where one will have signs of gheyness and such hung around one’s neck as rotten tomatoes and eggs are thrown at thee (yes we will be adopting the King’s English, thank-you) until you have learnest your place! Then the good King UssJimmyCarter mayest shall show mercy uponest your common self and for a pittance of cash for the King Most Holy and Divine you shall be unbound from your deserved situation…
Ed the Pastor, I Knight Thee Head of The Church Of The Mighty Nation of Minnesota only to serve at the pleasure of the Most High and Majestic King himself! Your church shall ban filthy wenches such as the Pelosi or Clinton as to keep evil from seeping in the front door!
Yeah, wouldn’t it be ridiculous to live in a country stupid enough to have a grown man who never held a job in his entire life trying to tell you how to live yours? …umm, hey wait a minute.
So, is the Capital of the Mighty Great Horn Nation of Minnesota the city of Minneapoloosa? If so, I shall be perpetual Lord Mayor of such berg and also collector of royal tributes (bacon from the Brotherhood of Bacon Eating Bastids) for the Kingdom. For this, I shall curtsie to the King as long as he kisses my big Irish butt each time!!
The purpose of the British royalty is to reveal the stupid twats of America. Those who gush about the wedding constantly, those who used the phrase “commoner” to describe Kate Middleton without any reservation, and, God forbid they exist, those who may envy the British for having something “so, like, cool, totally, it’s so cool”, all are revealed by our British friends once in a while.
I thank them for it.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to shoot at some redcoated targets with my Pennsylvania long rifle.
WTF? The Royal Couple have atoned for whatever discourtesy they may have inadvertently visited upon this American assembly by shunning the American Head Negro and her pet monkey Barry O. This was done no doubt to prove and assure their beloved friend America that America and Brittan are forever to one another allies, friends and favored cousins.
I wish them and their county God’s speed and a sooner than later eternal departure of the current reigning Prince of Wales who is a putz. Frankly, I prefer their royalty to ours because at least theirs has some genetic claim to the title and they are not to be found panty less and puking their guts out in front of some Hollywood bar that I can’t even get in to.
uss jimmy carter: Manomin County (part of modern day Anoka County) actually planned on leaving the union during the start of the civil war. They blockaded the river, stole some rum, lynched an abolitionist, and planned on becoming a monarchy. Your idea isn’t so far fetched.
you think it’s tough to figure out why England cares? How about completely unrelated OTHER sovereign nations doing the same thing to ANOTHER COUNTRY’s royals?
I’m with Marko on the purpose of the royals here. Their utility is nil; however, they have to accomplish one thing, which is more than we can say of the O. The men must complete military service. Henry served as a ground-based FAC in Afghanistan where he had the high honor of directing strikes in support of Ghurkha units.
USSJC, if you become king of Minneyotastan or whatever you are going to call it, can you take that stupid little critter you elected to the U.S. senate and do whatever with him?
If Minnesota leaves the union we will be down to only 112 senators, what a huge savings
Most Americans must be royalty, most of us have thrones in our homes.
Iowa Jim,
Thanks for the link, I hadn’t heard that story.
It makes the way the President has treated our ally
even more disgraceful.
The Royal Snub to M-Kel and her anglerfish mate, Baa-Rack, justifies the existence of the British Royal Family onethousandfold.
“Let’s see, now, over-the-hill footer player? Check. Pop princess? Check. Another pop singer? Check. Assorted foreign heads of state? Check. Various celebrities? Check. Cute kids? Check. Bust of Churchill? Check. Leader of the country with which we formerly had a ‘special relationship?’ (Clutches pearls.) Good heavens, no! Philip, dear, would you mind calling the head of the Palace Guard? We have some specific instructions for him.”
Now, if Prince Philip would just pee on that i-Pod and send it back, I’d be signing petitions to make him “King Consort” instead of just “Prince Consort.”
Long live the Royal Family! (Except maybe Charles. He is a putz.)
Every now and again it’s nice to think that sometime, somewhere fairy tales come true. Yes, I know it’s only for this day and yes I know it will probably end in tears and yes I know the as Americans we are supposed to make fun of and ridicule all that has to do with royalty.
But for this one shining little moment civility, honor, love and pageantry take our mind off the wretched, foul, excrement incrusted, cesspool we call modern living.
I’m sure South Park, Family Guy, Jon Stewart and Kathy Gifford will make sure it’s mocked, derided and otherwise splattered with their incessant projective vomiting of filth.
……”bless us everyone.”
I only watched it because I was secretly hoping a blue police box would suddenly appear and the Doctor would step out and greet them in typical Doctor fashion.
What about Belgium? Norway? Spain? They have monarchies too. Nobody cares when their princes and princesses get married. There are not enough photos of Queen Beatrix’s ghastly Dutch hats. Nobody makes fun of the King of Sweden’s dyslexia (you would have it too if you spoke Swedish). Nobody fawns over King Abdullah’s pointy goatee, or studies the symbols on Emperor Akihito’s toilet paper. The media is pro-Windsor, and I’m tired of it.
Having spent a bit of my boyhood in such “booming” metropoli as Belfast and Derry in the late 60s and early 70s living out that whole In The Name Of The Father scene and observing Servants of her Brittanic Majesty carrying out her manifest love for her fellowman especially when they just accidentally happened to be of Irish and Catholic extraction, the idea of some Americans having conniptions over the marriage of some of her whelps makes me laugh just ahead of a wave of nausea washing over me and forcing me to choke back a small bolus of bile that previously had been a bite of a BK Double Stacker. Ignorance and naivete’ are amazing things, huh?
BK Double Stacker? Isn’t that the product of the realm of the BURGER KING?
Tommy, ya see? You have the Devil’s own time escaping Royalist influences. That, and have you ever tucked into Scottish food? McDonald’s is right out.