Washington, D.C. (NPN) – As the nation turned to various festivities and traditions on this Labor Day, from grilling food in the backyard and spending time with family, to remembering the hard work, ingenuity, and enterprise that it took to make this a great country, the President took part in a ceremony of his own, followed by a speech to commemorate the occasion.
The ceremony began with the President laying a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Job, and after a moment of silence for the many jobs lost, President Obama gave a short speech to mark the holiday.
“This day, Labor Day, is a day of remembrance of the many jobs that once made this country so great.” said the President. “For without them, we would not have had the peace and prosperity that we so enjoyed before. It is important on a day like this, a national holiday, to remember those many jobs that were saved or created, shovel ready or not so ready, public union or private union, green or kind of green, and all the rest that keep at least some of America working and paying taxes to me.”
“And it is especially important to honor the unbroken unemployment lines, and also the unbroken line of fallen jobs.” the President said. “I see many of them out here today. It is with their continued sacrifice that my dreams of a different kind of America will be made possible. We may mourn their loss, but keep looking forward to the future I am bringing you to.”
After the speech, the White House hosted a special lunch with national union leaders. During this, one of the union leaders, Larry Greer, gave a short speech of his own.
“On behalf of the many labor unions in the nation,” said Greer, “I would like to thank President Obama for his continued efforts in helping organized labor regain its grip on power over evil businesses and the people in general. If it were not for his tireless work to destroy as many non-union jobs as possible, we would simply have faded away with time.”
The speech was met with cheers and toasts in the President’s honor.
In other news, a job from California that was reported missing last month has turned up in the port city of Pinghu, China. Chinese officials have granted the job full asylum, as has been their policy for the last several years while more and more jobs continue to self-exile themselves from the United States.