Tell him the Republican Party started as an abolitionist movement and the Democrat Party opposed the Civil Rights Act.
Read the beginning of the First Amendment to him; “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”
Tell him that if there are more successful people the government will get more in tax revenues.
Ask him; “If the government can regulate what it subsidizes, should it really subsidize birth control and abortion?”
Ask him; “If the right to bear arms and voting are both Constitutionally protected rights, then why do we need an ID to buy a gun?”
Ask him; “Is it appropriate for a Nobel Peace Prize winner to have a death list?”
Ask him; “If banning marijuana has been a huge failure, what makes you think banning guns would work?”
Tell him that NAZI stands for ‘National Socialist Workers Party’
Ask him if 7 states seceded while he was President.
Ask him; “Is it greedier to want to keep your own money or to want somebody else’s money?
Remind him of his previous sayings.
* Install full-height windows near doors.
* Give him an umbrella and a full-framed gate to go through.
* Pull the plug on his teleprompter.
* Offer him his choice of smokes.
* When he bows, walk away.
Trick question: He’s already confused.
Math.
Tell him to find the corner in the Oval Office.
Read the US Constitution, special emphasis on the limitations of power.
Basic math, bonus points for visual aids.
Ask him to balance a checkbook.
Give him an 8th-grade civics test . . . well not a modern one, how about one from the 50s.
Put doorknobs on all the window frames.
Give him a bucket the same size as his head.
Ask him to locate the capitol of Israel on a map.
wow this is too easy . . .. I’m going to stop here for now.
Try to explain the concept of honor.
Ask him to explain Joe Biden’s latest speech.
* Ask him which dignitary he’ll bow to first.
* Ask him what happens after he “redistributes the wealth.”
* See if he knows the difference between a ‘protest’ and a ‘terrorist attack.’
Ask him to name the capitals of all fifty-seven states.
Secretly replace his coffee with Folger’s Instant.
* Ask him what his first job was.
display “Don’t say what is on the teleprompter” on the teleprompter.
Tell him that his speeches don’t actually fix anything.
Give him a pile of nothing and tell him to redistribute it.
Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.
* Ask him why Bush’s last $400+ billion dollar deficit was ‘unpatriotic’ and his four years of $1+ trillion dollar deficits are not.
* Ask him to explain the record gun sales in the last few months.
Ask him where he was born.
* Ask him to read the Declaration of Independence.
* Then ask him to read the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution.
* Then tell him he doesn’t know squat about Constitutional law.
Tell him that, in fact, you DID build it!
Wake him up.
Put some cat meat in his “Poodle and Noodle”
Ask him about the national debt.
Put him in an operating washing machine overnight.
* Ask why a majority of the Armed Forces are going to vote for Romney.
Mdricks – BACON!
Explain to him what “dog eat dog world” means.
Tell him he’s “President” not “present”.
“Sorry to wake you at 3 am, Mr. President. The phone is ringing.”
Put signs around the White House “Door” “Window” etc.
Explain to him there’s no such thing as a fourth trimester.
Give Joe Biden something intelligent to say.
Pour the water out from his bong.
Personally, I confuse him with Karl Marx, but that’s just me.
Ask him to explain the amunition purchases in the last few months.
Ask if he and all his corpse-men are part of a zombie attack?
……tell him the truth, he won’t recognize it anyway.
Put two brown balls infornt of him and tell him to pick the one that is not racist.
You hold him accountable for his actions without taking his ethnic or racial heritage into consideration.
Tell him that Joe Biden has a “cunning plan”
With facts.
Give home a printing press and tell him to pay off his debt. Wait…that’s what he’s already doing.
Ask him to define “community organizer”.
Ask him why Michelle always looks pissed.
explain to him that in America, we keep dogs as pets, not livestock.
Ask him where he stands on anything . . . right after you hide the teleprompter.
Ask him which restroom Janet Napolitano uses.
…ask him why it isn’t called death control?
…ask him at what level of debt does it become patriotic?
…ask him who is buried in Sandra Flukes big square head?
How do you confuse President Obama? ….tap on the side of the bucket.
How do you confuse President Obama? Start reading his healthcare bill to him.
Have him explain why Joe Biden is smarter than Sarah Palin.
How do you confuse President Obama more? There, I fixed it..
Offer him a choice between waffles, ice cream, cheeseburgers, choom and barbequed dog.
How do you confuse President Obama? Have him spend one day as a “boots on the ground” soldier.
@48 Jimmy..If the choom comes first, ALL the others will follow !
CT, after the election, his next book will be titled, “Dreams Of My Roach Clip.”
Tell him FDR opposed public unions.
Tell him JFK supported tax cuts.
Tell him the Republican Party started as an abolitionist movement and the Democrat Party opposed the Civil Rights Act.
Read the beginning of the First Amendment to him; “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”
Tell him that if there are more successful people the government will get more in tax revenues.
Ask him; “If the government can regulate what it subsidizes, should it really subsidize birth control and abortion?”
Ask him; “If the right to bear arms and voting are both Constitutionally protected rights, then why do we need an ID to buy a gun?”
Ask him; “Is it appropriate for a Nobel Peace Prize winner to have a death list?”
Ask him; “If banning marijuana has been a huge failure, what makes you think banning guns would work?”
Tell him that NAZI stands for ‘National Socialist Workers Party’
Ask him if 7 states seceded while he was President.
Ask him; “Is it greedier to want to keep your own money or to want somebody else’s money?
Put up cardboard cut outs of tin pot dictators from various rat hole countries around the White House. It’ll keep him bowing for days.
Play fetch with Joe Biden in the West Wing. Tell Barry that Joe’s running around like that because of a new national emergency.
Station identical buckets strategically around the White House. He’ll never figure out which one is his!
talk american at him.
Leave bogus menu to a take out restaurant that serves dog. The phone number is to the local animal shelter.
Give him a copy of Issac Asimov’s “On Numbers”.
http://www.amazon.com/Asimov-On-Numbers-Isaac/dp/0517371456/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348178398&sr=8-1&keywords=asimov+on+math
Tell him that Michelle said it was OK for him to eat chalupas again.
Give him a shovel and tell him that there’s more tax money stashed under the White House.
Tell him that not only is Bin Laden *not* dead but that he’s feeling better!
Hand him a piece of paper with the words “Navy Corpsmen” on it and have him read it out loud.
Have him explain the Constitution to Joe Biden.
Use sound logic when discussing his policies.
Ask him to define the term “free market economy.”
Tell him you’re going to vote for the best candidate and then pull the lever for Romney.
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Ask him how many zeros there are in a trillion.