Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Hillary Faint Last Week?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Why did Hillary faint last week?
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December 18th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
That is just what old people do; other than eating dinner at 2:30 in the afternoon.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
She was listening to one of Obama’s speeches on her iPod.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
She saw Michael Moore in a speedo.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:28 pm
“Wait, I’m actually gonna skate on Benghazi? Scot-free??? Headrush….”
December 18th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
…that image is even more frightening when it’s looking back at you in a mirror.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
She came home one night and found Bill alone in their bed.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
She did up the top button on a last years pantsuit.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
She’s pregnant.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Bill had already sucked all the oxygen out of the room.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:22 pm
The camel she was making suck face with turned out to be a male.
Accidentally drank some truth serum and CIA was ordered to beat the truth out of her.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Obama had the Marine Band play ‘Hail to the Chief’ as Hillary entered the Whitehouse.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
The vacuum created when she showed up at the nude beach.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Obama told her of his secret plan to cut taxes.
Obama told her of the plan to offer the Obamagun, free, to citizens that couldn’t afford their own gun.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:28 pm
…when Obama said, Ya know, I do sorta miss Bush.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
The sheer magnificence that is the Obama presidency is just so overwhelming.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I’d faint too if I thought it could get me out of murder charges.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Joe Biden asked her to pull his finger….. and she did.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Holder announced new evidence in the murder of Vince Foster.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
…somebody forgot to warn her Michelle ate that extra large bean burrito for lunch.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
…the ground she was walking on turned out to be consecrated.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Pf, we all know she did nothing of the sort. All that really happened was that she ran out of any semblance of an excuse NOT to testify, and being honest basically blows their whole plan to smithereens.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:25 pm
All the blood rushed to her cankles.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
…she’s so slippery Death couldn’t hang on…but he gave her quite a scare
…Al Gore blamed it on the altitude
…she was just one of the folks that fainted when Obama starts talking
…just realized that when she was having dinner with Obama with our new Chinese overlords she ordered shih tzu instad of mu shu
…because Obama found her lack of faith disturbing
December 18th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Jim Moran says it was an accident!
December 18th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Her broomstick flew at too high of an altitude.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
She was completely overwhelmed by the thought of Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr making love with each other.
December 18th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
What Obama said only rhymed with tax the rich.
Head that big, of course Frank J mistook it for the moon.
“Fainted, schmainted, old white woman got between me and a tamale”: (Anonymous witness in FBI report)
December 18th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
She had a global hot flash
December 18th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
She thought she was sitting down in an empty chair, but ended up in Obama’s lap.
December 18th, 2012 at 3:38 pm
She realized if she were still in the Senate, she would have been exempt from Obamacare.
December 18th, 2012 at 3:54 pm
She got her head stuck between her thunder thighs.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:04 pm
She found out that Obama arranged for Weatherwax Kennels to cater her farewell dinner.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:24 pm
… She was told Obama plans to tax real estate investments and lucky stock picks
… 2 words – canckle tax
December 18th, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Her hypnotist has programed her to faint whenever someone says Benghazi so she cannot testify.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
She came down with a bad case of Benghazi-itis.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:08 pm
They told her she would have to testify under oath, and she is as allergic to oaths all other Demons.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Bill stopped trying to have affairs with other women and started trying to reconcile with her.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:57 pm
… Because being Secretary of State is hard!
December 18th, 2012 at 7:44 pm
“She had been scheduled to testify before a pair of congressional panels looking into the Sept. 11 attack against a diplomatic outpost in Benghazi, Libya.”
December 18th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
…Because the Clinton’s have used up their “Get Out of Perjury” cards.
December 18th, 2012 at 7:52 pm
…apparently “crocodile tears” can cause dehydration.
December 18th, 2012 at 7:57 pm
She was able to sign in to Bill’s e-mail accounts.
December 18th, 2012 at 7:59 pm
2 words…”Memory Loss”.
December 18th, 2012 at 8:04 pm
She saw how much more she and Bill are going to be paying in taxes.
December 18th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
that’s how the maroons escape reality
December 18th, 2012 at 8:34 pm
accidentally told the truth, and no one noticed.
December 19th, 2012 at 1:51 am
…she sensed millions of voices crying out in terror then suddenly silenced… and the pleasure was more than she could handle.
December 19th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
When she looked in a mirror she saw Jabba the Hut staring back at her.
December 19th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Why did Hillary faint last week?” [...]
December 19th, 2012 at 9:03 pm
No. 26 aka Iowa Jim is indeed a sick and twisted person, Funny ,though.