Bush hasn’t even said what his economic plan is, and Democrats are already describing it as just a tax cut for the rich. That seems kind of silly, but I believe it shows good thinking on their part. They’ve never failed to label any Republican tax cut proposal as a “tax cut for the rich,” so why even wait for the details anymore.
That got me thinking (if anything, I’m a thinker): they have a lot of those type phrases they consistently use in response to whatever Republicans do. There is a good reason for that, since the average Democrat isn’t the brightest chap and needs a simple concept to grasp on to.

Democratic Leader (pausing momentarily from sipping his martini): “It’s just a tax cut for the rich.”
Average Democrat (pausing momentarily from trying to insert a VHS tape into his new DVD player): “Me no like rich. Me vote Democrat.”

But, if Democrats always use the same response to certain stimuli (like mention of tax cuts or social security reform), that sounds like the perfect thing to automate. I think I could build a robotic Democrat (must… resist… obvious Gore joke…) that could perform the same function as any Democratic politician on a talk show. All I would have to do is take a manequin that could be made to sit up in a chair and then insert a microphone, speaker, and a simple computer system running voice recognition software. It will scan the speech of the Republican he’s it’s supposed to be debating, and then start repeating in a loop its standard response.
Stimulus: “tax cut”
Response: “It’s just a tax cut for the rich! It’s just a tax cut for the rich! It’s just a tax cut…”
Stimulus: “social security”
Response: “Republicans want to throw old people out on the street! Republicans want to throw old people out on the street! Republicans want to throw…”
Stimulus: “environment”
Response: “Republicans want to poison our air and water! Republicans want to poison our air and water! Republicans want to poison…”
Stimulus: “affirmative action”
Response: “Republicans are racist! Republicans are racist! Republicans are…”
Stimulus: “welfare”
Response: “Republicans want to starve school children! Republicans want to starve school children! Republicans want to–”
Stimulus: “guns”
Response: “Redrum! Redrum!”
If no recognized stimuli are found, a number of universal responses can be used such as “Republicans are mean-spirited!” or it can just emit some sort of high-pitched, incomprehensible whine.
Once I’ve produced a prototype, I can then pitch it to news organizations as a replacement for getting an actual Democrat politician on their show. This will remove all the costs associated with having to book Democrats on their programs and allow them to immediately have a Democratic response to any major issue. I think I could make a bundle.
To be honest, I got the idea when I recalled the debate of Al Gore vs. Dan Quayle back in 1992. When the subject of abortion came up, Al Gore just kept repeating “Don’t you support a woman’s right to choose?” over and over as Quayle tried to speak (can’t– resist– Gore robot joke– any longer–).
Oh man, I just realized that, while I thought I was describing this great new product idea, all I was doing was describing Al Gore.