South Korea seems to think that both North Korea and the U.S. need to make concessions. I know what you’re thinking – “What!? They even suggest we make concessions to nuclear weilding dimwits! Let’s murder them all!” – but don’t be so hasty. Remember, South Korea animates The Simpsons, and thus they control a resource even more important than oil. That’s why we at least have to humor them. Here are my ideas for concessions that each side can make:
NORTH KOREAN CONCESSIONS
* Shall have Kim Jong-Il wear a red nose to complete his look.
* Shall now have to give what little food they have to us in case we feel like an extra snack between breakfast and brunch.
* Shall change national religion such that all Americans are worshipped as gods.
* Shall dance for our amusement.
* Shall nuke selves as punishment.
* Shall burn in hell.
AMERICAN CONCESSIONS
* Shall only kill the first born child of each family.
* Shall not sow salt in the earth after saturation bombing.
* Shall not feed them to dogs.
* Shall limit dancing on their graves to a week’s length.
* Shall not subject them again to Carter.
* Shall not be extremely blatant in ignoring concessions.
More North Korean Concessions
Must provide us with all of those delicious bark and grass recipes.
Must sub-contract all future skateboard parks to US contractors.
Must allow all of those tunnels under the DMZ to be converted to water slides.
All future goose stepping military displays will be performed backwards.
Everyone must pluck their eyebrows, for that more benign look(all right, I gotta go, …getting desperate)
I have to disagree with your ‘American Concessions’ – we must require, as part of the ‘North Korean Concessions,’ that they take Carter and assume all responsibilty for him.
Good luck finding a dog in North Korea, pal…
“Shall now have to give what little food they have to us in case we feel like an extra snack between breakfast and brunch.”
Made me laugh so hard that spit flew!