SallyVee Answers
Mitchell G., MD from Saint Cloud, Minnesota writes:
As you may or may not know, Minnesota recently passed a concealed carry law. All law-abiding citizens are issued permits now. But…
I hope you can help me. I’m a physician in a group practice, and a couple of my partners and our administrators are pushing having one of those “Guns not welcome” signs in the window of our office. I know all the arguments against them, and have expressed them, but I’m getting nowhere, and it’s making me sick. I sense that my partners are going to outvote me and a few like-minded friends. So I sold out, figuring that half a loaf was better than none: I proposed coming up with wording that would express the desire that guns not be allowed, and yet with a disclaimer. I prefer the one at www.gunfreezones.com but I don’t think they’ll go for it!
I am thinking of something along the lines of this, but more succinct and well-put that I have been able to come up with yet: “Although we respect the 2nd amendment, please leave your firearm in your car.” Have you ever heard of a sign expressing the same sentiments? Any ideas?
Mitch: This is ludicrous, which should become evident to even the dumbest of dumbasses as you try to write the stupid sign. How are you going to enforce the request, btw? You gonna have the nurses pat everyone down–could get interesting and may help with client retention.
That said, how ’bout this for your sign: THANK YOU FOR NOT SHOOTING
Frank Answers
Jonag from Chandler, Arizona writes:
I just read in the paper that there is now a shortage of lab monkeys to use for experiments. Why do you think that is? Did you have anything to do with it?
I’ve had nothing to do with at no one has presented any evidence otherwise. I would say, though, that a sudden dissapearance of monkeys is cause for concern. Most likely that means they are doing their final plotting for a strike against us. Make sure to stock up on shotgun shells and anti-monkey spray.
Curtis from the backwoods asks:
Why do we have to go steal oil? Why not just power everything with nuclear reactions?
Yeah, power everything with nuclear reactions; that’s a great idea! Then, when we have a car wreck, it will take out half the state. Plus, when everyone slows down to look at the wreck, they’ll get radiated (you have to at least be going 65mph to outrun radiation).
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
I thought radiation made you immune to stuff and makes people into super heroes, like spiderman. Sounds good to me.
This gun stuff in MN is typical and you need to approach your sign considering your MN audience. The sign should say: If you have a gun and it’s loaded, please don’t shoot doctors. Save your bullets for any politicians who drop in to have their eyes/heads examined. You might also want to consider plugging unruly children and patients who arrive dressed in Halloween costumes.
Mitchell G. should check out http://www.dsgl.org/. It’s the website for Doctors for Sensible Gun Laws. They have quite a few papers about just this sort of thing, and if Mitchell needs further, he should contact Michael Brown. He’s very open about discussing this type of thing.
In my opinion you should offer a discount for permit holders, as having them there makes you safer.
Radiation makes people sterile. For that reason I think we should start a pilot program in places like Washington DC or Hollywood.
Nope, nothing wrong with sterilizing a few people.
LOLOLOLOLOVE the rotating poll! I think I answered ’em all.. gave up when six in a row were familiar….
Since I paid to register, I can have up to fifty at once. I’m just going to keep adding a few each day.
Is there anywhere we can get a list of them?
Nope, they’ll just keep coming and surprising you. Unfortunately, I can’t run two polls at once, so the rotating poll will have to temporarily stop if I have another contest poll. I think all future polls will be up in that corner instead of in posts.
“thank you for not shooting”…works for me!
How about: “GUNS BANNED ON PREMISES” which is the wording recommended by the statute, and underneath this “By 3 to 2 vote of partners” so patrons are well aware that it was not unanimous and they can ask their doctor if they like.
A more “in your face” disclaimer would be “…Except for Dr. Gossman and Dr. XXXXX”. What holds me back is the fact that this might irritate my liberal patients, which I do not want. Which is the same reason why it is irrational to have the sign – it may irritate conservative and/or gun-toting patients, and accomplish nothing for safety.
But I LOVE the suggestion of a discount for CCW’ers – “present your permit, get 5% off”. Love it.
… Or present your firearm menacingly for 100% off?
Dr. Gossman —
I am a PA practicing in Orthopaedics out here in liberal Kalifornia. I loved the “100% off” post … ROTFLMAO !!
Seriously though, is it possible to pursue the “alienating potential/current customers and patients” angle with the group?
Would these same physicians be willing to put up a sign that gave a statement about another divisive issue, e.g. abortion ?
I personally would not support a practice which had an anti-gun sign. Tell your group that equals in cash terms a capitated patient who never gets sick.
I did indeed present the potential for alienating patients as the PRIMARY angle for not wanting the sign. Secondary but related issue is the fact that I, like many, don’t like it. Others, ingenuously in my opinion, state that they want the sign for safety. I see the very real possibility of alienation as being infinitely more likely than the infinitesimal possibility of a legally licensed individual walking in calm and deciding he’d like to kill someone after the office visit.
I have been insulted by these signs. One store in town had a sign even before the CCW liberalization occurred, and one day I was about to enter the store packing when I saw the sign. My instinct was to say “F*** Y**” and go elsewhere.
And great minds think alike. I asked how the leading sign proponent would like it if we put an NRA sign in the window or a sign welcoming legal firearms, and added that “The counterpart to me would be a sign supporting NARAL”. She snapped back the non sequitur: “How do you know I’m pro-choice”?