Permalink contest winner Jarred Nicholls wonders if because someone is racist, does that mean you can violate all of his rights.
John Hawkins writes about why he became a conservative. I remember why I became one. I saw this guy who was really dumb, and I was like, “What are you?”
And he said, “I’m a liberal.”
“What’s the opposite of that?”
“A conservative.”
“Then that’s what I am.” And then I punched him.
True story.
Spoons dissects a really dumb article on guns.
Right We Are has the Carnival of the Vanities. It’s a big one this time.
Here is my man Blackfive on violence.
First Loser Harvey has some fan-fiction.
Sterile-Thunder has composed an anthem for our blog war.
Bill Whittle says he will have a new essay soon. It’s been so long, though, I forget who he is and why I would care.
Archive of entries posted on 14th August 2003
War is a Terrible and Profitable Thing…
I have started to compile a list of compatriots in the blog war. It is the list right under my regular blogroll. If I have forgotten you, or, if I mistakenly added you when you wish to remain a slave, e-mail me with the subject “WAR!!!”. Remember: The time to choose sides is now. Don’t think you can wait until after we start seeing success and then come strolling on into our alliance.
First off, as said before, we need a name, and a good one. We want the name of our alliance of bloggers to be what people and the media first think of when they hear the word blog. Here is my suggestion for the name of our alliance of bloggers: The Blogger Alliance.
Discuss it in the comments, but we need a name soon and then a banner for all our pages to display. It should link to a central headquarters where all the alliance names are kept, both those with blogs and those without. Are there any volunteers to make this headquarters, which should start now as a single page? It should be real fancy and professional looking.
I know what is on your minds right now: How do we attack this giant foe? I think us delinking him would accomplish nothing, as the roots of his power comes from his influence from outside the blogosphere. Anyway, we need to keep tabs on him. I think no one in the Alliance should link to him as “Instapundit”, though, and instead choose some other name such as “The Enemy”, “Puppy Blender”, etc.
How we attack is to grab media influence. We need to let the world know there is a blogosphere, a new order in this world, and that there is a war for it. We need the press to hear of the crimes of Glenn Reynolds and know that we, the Alliance, stand for good. Thus, our first plotting must be how to get media attention to our cause. I have my own ideas, but more suggestions are certainly needed.
Here are a few things I need to mention:
* For now, I am leader. Later, that can be decided democratically, but not while in war. I should be known as Frank or Frank J. Any defamation of my name is a defamation of our Alliance and thus of our cause and thus freedom and liberty in general. If you stand for oppression, for dictatorships ruling in Iran and North Korea and the like, then go ahead and call me “Frnak” or “Monkey-boy”. We know where you stand.
* Since we are the real order of the blogging world, I hereby decree that Glenn (not Reynolds) of Hi. I’m Black! will no longer be known as Glenn (not Reynolds). Instead, he will just be known as Glenn. Glenn Reynolds will from now on be known as the Enemy, the puppy blender, or White Glenn.
* It is important that all members of the Alliance bring something unique, thus I wish for each blog to think of its specialty in commentary. This should be listed with the name of each blog in the Alliance headquarters.
* Some fool named Jennifer who, by a majority vote, smells like a monkey (and probably looks like one too, but I don’t have a poll for that), is trying to declare war against me. This only serves the Enemy. I extend an olive branch, though, as there is still time to choose the appropriate side before you are destroyed.
That’s just a few things to start with. The important things to remember for today are that we need to decide on a name, we need someone to make our web headquarters, we need a banner for all blogs in the Alliance to display, and we need to strategize ways to get media attention. I want everyone in the civilized world to know that there is a blogosphere, that it is the new order, and that we are its rulers.
Instapundo Delenda Est!
War Update
Support for the upcoming Great Blog War is overwhelming, and I’ll sort through the supporters later today and probably add a list of them to my ever-expanding sidebar, starting with who started it all, Glenn (not Reynolds). He’s a negro, and, with a negro on our side, we can’t possibly lose!
Planning stages will commence soon, but we first need a cool name for our alliance. I don’t want it to be anti-Instapundit, but, instead, a name showing our hope for a future where we all rule. Put suggestions in the comments section.
UPDATE TO WAR UPDATE: I thought the Enemy would ignore us, but he has linked to my declaration against him and then adopted part of it as a slogan in mockery.
Indeed.
When I get hom from work tonight, I will give more details on how this alliance will work start putting all the supporters names together and consider the suggestions for names for the alliance. Remember, we fight not just for the blogoshpere, but for the minds and hearts of all citizens of the world. They will hear us, and they will take heed.
Frank on Guns: Gun Calibers
This is the second part of primer for people who don’t know much about guns. In my previous entry, I went over gun basics. Now let’s discuss the almighty bullet.
As stated before, the cartridge (a.k.a. kill’n fuel) consists of three parts: the kill’n activator, the gunpowder, and roundy, pointy thing which flies fast does the killer’n. What determines the power of the cartridge is the amount of gunpowder and the size of the roundy, pointy thing which flies fast does the killer’n (slug, for short).
Now, I’m going to stick to mainly handgun calibers as that is what I know. Did you know the lower the shotgun gauge, the more powerful it is? That’s crazy. Anyway, handguns are the coolest, and their name refers to the width of the bullet, either in parts of an inch or indecipherable metrics. What about the length of the cartridge, you ask? That’s a secret.
.22: This is target ammo. It’s cheap and plentiful, but, for killer’n, it’s only good if you just want to injure a squirrel. It’s rimfire; you can hit it anywhere on the rim to start the kill’n activator. You don’t have to be exact or anything, it will fire.
.25 and .32: These start to look like baby versions of real bullets, being center fire (having a round little target on the back to start the kill’n activator). Some people want to ban certain types of ammo, and I say ban these. They’re only good for wounding someone, and that’s just mean.
.380 (or 9mm short as known by Nazis and Commies): With this bullet, you’re starting to get serious. This is what my Walther PPK fires. You really need something more that a regular FMJ to make it deadly though (more on this below).
9mm (or .380 long as known by me): A very popular bullet, especially after the high capacity craze started with Glock. Sure, you can fire 19 of these without reloading, but you’ll need it to take someone down with this little pansy cartridge. Also popular with submachine guns– except for my man, Tommy. It’s the bullet fired by the Beretta 92FS, the M9 sidearm of our troops. Poor troops only having a 9mm sidearm. I have a Walther P99 in 9mm myself, but, because of damn Clinton, I only have silly little 10-rd magazines for it. Bastard.
10mm: A high-powered semi-auto round made for the FBI. But it’s a damn metrics bullet and hasn’t really caught on.
.40: Smith & Wesson shortened the 10mm and gave it nice American caliber name. This quickly became the choice round of law enforcement, because it’s much more of a man-stopper than that pansy ass 9mm.
.45: My man, .45. There are two .45’s, both made popular by Colt. The first is known as the .45 Long Colt, and that’s the bullet fired by the old West Peacemakers. What we mainly know as .45 today is the .45 ACP (Automatic Colt Pistol) made popular by the ultimate semi-auto, the 1911 (that’s the year Ronald Reagan was born; coincidence, I think not). It is also the bullet of the Thompson submachine gun (the Tommy gun), made popular in WWII and made unpopular by gangsters. It’s a man’s bullet, a nice big chunky SOB which you could probably knock someone unconscious just by throwing it at him. Do not fire this bullet if you’re some girly man.
.38 Special: A popular bullet for backup revolvers. What does special mean? Think like “special classes” and the kids who rode the short bus. It’s not a very powerful cartridge.
.357 Magnum: Magnum is Latin for large or great, and this is a great bullet for blowing some punk away. You might need to get both hands on this one. Why isn’t it a .356 or a .358 you ask? Because some very scientifical people determined that .357 it should be. Any revolver that fires a .357 magnum can also fire a .38 special. Now isn’t that special?
.44 Magnum: “Are you feeling lucky? Well do ya, punk?” Dirty Harry caliber and that used by xXx. Actually, it might be a little too much for shooting a man unless you don’t care about also shooting anyone who might stand a mile behind him. My dad originally bought one for fishing in Alaska in case he got attacked by a bear. I have a Colt Anaconda myself which I keep around in case a Florida alligator looks at me funny. There is a .44 Special, i.e., a retarded version.
.454 Casull and .480 Ruger: Now we’re just getting ridiculous. Just get yourself a damn rifle.
.50 AE: AE if for Action Express. It’s made by those crazy Israelis just for the Desert Eagle because those Palestinians are so annoying they wanted something extra big to shoot them with.
500 S&W Magnum: After caving in the anti-gun nuts, Smith & Wesson had to win back the heart of their consumers. They did this by making a freaking huge handgun caliber. If someone is robbing the house four houses down from you, you can shoot through all the houses and hit him with this.
If all of these calibers are too weak for you, those crazy Israelis at Magnum Research can make revolvers for you chambered in rifle rounds like the venerable .30-.30. The only purpose of these is to freak out people at a gun range, and it takes a lot to freak out people at a gun range.
So, the question is, what’s good for killer’n? As I said, .380 is minimum, but you don’t want a regular slug. When I say regular slug, I mean a full metal jacket (FMJ), just like the name of that movie (“What’s your major malfunction, numbnuts?”). That’s when the slug is coated in metal. More stopping power is a hollow point, which has a hollow point. It collapses on impact leaving a regular entry wound and a big exit wound. The best are bullets that fragment on impact and spread throughout the perps body. If the bullet doesn’t go through, that means all power was transferred to the perp, and that’s what you want. Think stopping power, yo.
The next questions is what caliber do you want to use to kill a monkey. The proper caliber should reduce a monkey to nothing but a fine red mist. That means, for a regular size monkey, use a bullet big enough to kill a gorilla. To kill a gorilla (scientific name gorilla gorilla), use something big enough to kill King Kong. To kill King Kong… well, God help us all.
Next week we’ll talk about popular handgun choices. Remember: No problem is so complex it can’t be solved by proper firearm usage.