Many of you aren’t familiar with the literary works of Jim Webb, Democratic Senate Candidate for Virginia.
Turns out that Jim Webb wrote some bad books which featured the phrase Monkey Face, plus used some “bad words” referring to black people, and featured father-toddler fellatio. Personally, I’m glad to see the Democrats still stand for family values.
Of course, I never want to take anything out of context, so here, without permission, is a complete reprinting of the segments in question.
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From the book: Daddy’s Little Boy is All Grown Up
Jim was a war veteran and glad to be back on this sunny tropic beach. As he walked along looking at the water, he thought to himself, ‘Could it be possible one day that the ocean levels would rise because of man’s insane desire to create more and more biodiesel fuels, leading to a greenhouse effect that would raise the levels of the ocean sea?” Then off in the distance he saw his young son running toward him. The boy was 4 maybe 5 years old, depending on the state’s age of consent. As they hugged, he took off his son’s pants, as oddly enough, really bad chickawomp womp guitar music played in the background.
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From the non racist Jim Webb (D) book: Johnny and the Jigaboo
Johnny looked at her and her monkey face. Did he say monkey? that would be insulting as nobody in their right mind could think that people descended from monkeys or anything. What he meant to think was that she was more like a macaca – a species or genus of monkey, he wasn’t sure but didn’t feel like looking it up as that would cause more work and ruin the tender moment.
He looked at her, “I’ll have to leave this exotic bar area and go find a knife to use to cut up this banana.”
She put down her peanuts and looked at him seductively. “I have a better way of slicing a banana.” She then put it down beneath the table where it couldn’t be seen by Johnny or anyone reading this under the age of 13. “Here,” she said. And gave him back his banana in four slices.
“Wow. That was great. Now slice THIS!.” He handed her a cantaloupe.
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From the Women Respecting book by Jim Webb called “Shake your ass back to that kitchen.”
Margaret was tired of all her hard work. “I cook and cook for you and you never eat anything. All you do is sit there and look at those young boys on the beach frolicking.”
I worry about them. I worry about them and having older men send them flirty messages which might corrupt those young kids. Anyway, why should you have an opinion? You’re just a woman. In this day and age, women don’t have the same rights as men. They never will. Now wiggle your butt to the living room and turn on some Monday Night Football.”
She walked away angry and upset, her gigantic, glistening bosoms heaving from anger.
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Dear IMAO readers, this is obviously a plot by Karl Rove and it will soon be exposed as such. I think it’s shameful that the Republicans are resorting to quoting from books written by Mr. Webb when they were very obviously written for the general public and not meant for conservative consumption. I’m not sure, but it’s safe to guess that we are somehow violating Mr. Webb’s (and the American public’s) privacy.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Stick a fork in Webb, ’cause he’s done.
Yo Ducky,
How dare you use his own words against him! That’s just Un American!
Of course, the fact that the passage has nothing to do with incest and pedophilia but deals with tribal rituals and how out of place the American characters felt when seeing it, means nothing?
The hell with truth and context, there are elections to be won!
Wow! Somehow I just don’t feel as bad about my Lois and Clark nFic anymore…
That’s not fair. A DemoCRAP can say anything, but he cannot be held accountable for what he says and does- just ask all of the News agencies that did not report about Dirty Harry Reed being a crook last month. Only Republicans can be held accountable!
Ed:
So, um…putting your little sons penis in your mouth is not incestuous pedophilia but a “tribal ritual?” Can’t it be both?
I’m assuming you had the same reaction when you read about Scooter Libby’s novels involving rape and bestiality?
Even though he used John “I’m not all there” McCain in his commercials, I’ll be voting for George “Macacacacacaca” Allen.
The Webb/Allen race has to be the wackiest campaign ever. It too bad it will come to an end in November.
Well Scooter Libby just lost MY vote.
(What was he running for now?)
I hate to be preachy here, but the wee-wee greeting described in Webb’s book is something some people do in other parts of the world, icky and wrong as it is to most people. But it’s the lack of context that makes publicizing this bad form, just as Rush’s recent comments being taken out of context is bad form.
This is what I hate most about politics.
Is this where the term “goober smooch” comes from?
I see a conspiracy…James Webb…Foley…and now Romo takes over as cowboys quarterback and we all know what Romo rhymes with…
Of course, using my own logic, the banana/stripper story is simply another way to prepare a meal. so never mind me.
“Honey, could you help me with the zucchini? the Hendersen’s are coming over.”
You should see my wife carve a pumpkin
Oh yeah…she takes a knife, cuts the top out of it, takes the seeds out, and then carves some goofy stupid face on it….hey I can dream, can’t I?
I demand to know what Nancy Pelosi knew and when she knew it and that we have a congressional investigation and that she resign and…oh…wait…that’s just for Republicans…nevermind!
“Of course, the fact that the passage has nothing to do with incest and pedophilia but deals with tribal rituals and how out of place the American characters felt when seeing it, means nothing?
The hell with truth and context, there are elections to be won!”
Paleo-Medic/ Ed:
Screw context. Skip the context and jump to the part about the boy’s penis in a man’s mouth. Spare us the freaking purist point of view, Paleo.
Great! First clinton gets me off cigars and you get me off cantaloupe.