Ancient Papyrus Reveals New Lines of Greek Philosophy
Archaeology Magazine | April 7, 2026According to a statement released by the University of Liège, a 2,000-year-old fragment of papyrus . . . preserves 30 previously unknown verses written by Empedocles of Agrigentum, a Greek philosopher who lived in the fifth century B.C.
The work of Empedocles had been known only through quotes recorded by later authors, such as Plato, Aristotle, and Plutarch.
“… and the copper ingots weren’t that bad, really; he was just a whiner.”
Yes, I know that wasn’t Greek.
Deserves an Obscury. Walrus gives those out.
Complaint tablet from 1750 B.C.
Empedocles …son of Impedantesticles?..I can only Google so fast.
“No one can mold Plato when it’s cold.”
Toga! Toga!
— Courtesy of Walrus, April 2023
You’re not even reading this caption anymore, are you?
“Trojan in a horse or a horse in a Trojan? It’s all faintly Greek to me.”
Found: The origin of one of the jokes my dad told me.
Tailor to Greek: “Euripides?”
Greek: “Yup. Eumenides?”
Georgio Psoukalos:
“I’m not sayin the Antikythera Mechanism found off a Greek Isle is proof of Aliens…but the Antikythera Mechanism found off a Greek Isle is proof of Aliens.’
{Translated}
“I have solved the difficult problem of Ginger vs. MaryAnn. The judgement is thus. . . . I say that … Now, when I say this, I don’t want you to misunderstand me as denigrating the obvious charms of the second-best, but in these cases, of course, only one can be the premier choice. So, in this case, I find, not without careful contemplation . . . .”
The rest of the document is missing.
“Teenage Oppo? Let us out… oh my God. You aren’t going to, are you?”
What Do the Newly Discovered Fragments of Ancient Greek Philosophy Say?
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face, you get sprung
Wanna pull up tough ’cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearin’
I’m hooked and I can’t stop starin’
Oh, baby, I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes (Me-me so horny)
Oh, Rump-o’-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me ’cause you ain’t that average groupie
I’ve seen ’em dancin’, to hell with romancin’
She sweat, wet, got it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette
I’m tired of magazines sayin’ flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas (Yeah), Fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah)
Tell ’em to shake it (Shake it) Shake it (Shake it)
Shake that healthy butt, baby got back
They had so much time on their hands that they wrote at length about ordinary things in life that us moderns just take for granted, nothing earth-shattering, merely observant…
Kýrie, eléison, “Lord, have mercy” derives from a Biblical phrase. Greek ἐλέησόν με κύριε, ‘have mercy on me, Lord.’
Hakuna Matata
Cats Rule!
Footnote: This may be a not-so-literal translation of an ancient Greek text that has absolutely nothing to do with cats.
On the other hand, F. the ancient Greeks and their footnotes!