Props where it’s due to reader rp for this comment:
Ron Paul was the Sanjaya of the GOP debate.
Archive of entries posted on 16th May 2007
State of the Frank Report
This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested.
Well, I’ve been busy. You may have noticed I’ve been less engaged on this blog; well, that’s because getting a house ready to sell is not easy, and the clock is ticking since the zoo is rebuilding the monkey house. How in the world are we going to sell this house if someone looks out a window and seem damnable monkey eyes staring back at him and plotting death?
Then there was the plot by Doctor Doom was just a huge interruption. That was stressful. I don’t even want to talk about that; just read whatever they wrote in that rag The Daily Bugle if you’re interested.
On top of everything, I have this vague feeling that Aquaman is still alive and watching me. Isn’t there a French word for that?
After trying to come up with new methods to reinforce our new faux wood blinds so they don’t fall down every time someone tugs the cord, I heard the cats making those alien chirps and clicks they make when they cornered prey. They had chased a lizard under the dresser, and I decided to rescue so its corpse wouldn’t turn up at an inopportune moment. I pushed away the cats who hissed angrily at me for interrupting their murderous plans and reached for the tiny lizard. The lizard opened it’s mouth threateningly, but I thought that was just the little thing bluffing.
Unbeknownst to me, lizards don’t bluff.
The lizard clamped down on my index finger with it’s strong, toothless jaws. I yelped in surprise and drew my hand away, the lizard now dangling from my hand, still holding on tight. I quickly went outside, placed the lizard on the ground, and then had to pry its jaws open.
Needless to say, that’s the last time I’ll ever try and help another living creature.
Back to work. It’s much to do, but SarahK tries and keep a brave face, constantly exclaiming, “Yay! Painting is fun!” Then again, the other day she tried to put leashes on the cats. That woman has gone insane, I tell you.
I can’t wait until we’re out of the fetid swamps of Florida and on to the promised land: Texas.
I Finally Have to Ask
Who actually liked Falwell or Pat Robertson? I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but I’ve always felt like they have no actual support and the MSM just forced them upon us Christians to make us look silly. And I find nothing more blasphemous than when they made statements like “God did this because of that” as if those small minds could know anything about the motives of God.
I was trying to hold my tongue, but it’s hard with all the media coverage. If anyone was wondering if I have any association with Falwell or Robertson because I’m a Christian, the answer is “No, absolutely not.”
Slander: Obama Bad
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There’s still a good chance that Barack Hussein Hilter Pol Pot Obama is going to be the Democrats’ nominee, but I feel like I just don’t know enough to ridicule him for the months ahead. He had the one slip up where he inflated a death toll by a couple orders of magnitude, but that hardly enough to peg him with for a whole campaign season. I guess this is the advantage of being an empty suit: It’s really hard to ridicule someone for just for being an empty suit. I can name more things wrong about the Republican front runners than I can with him.
So, time to make things up.
BAD THINGS ‘BOUT OBAMA
* Any time you get Obama talking about any subject, he starts bringing up facts about serial killers. That guy just won’t stop talking about how impressive serial killers are.
* If he can’t become president, Obama would like to be a telemarketer.
* Obama thinks the minimum age for snorting coke off strippers should be five.
* You don’t want to hear what Obama said about your mom. It was true, but he didn’t have to say it.
* Obama owns over twenty cats and his home smells weird.
* Obama plans to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Frank Opinions on Last Night’s Debate
[Ed. Note: Frank J. did not actually watch any of the debate, but he read a lot of blog entries from people who did watch it.]
First off, this was a much better debate than the last one. [Ed. Note: Frank J. also didn’t watch the last one.] Rudy Giuliani, after a disastrous performance in the first debate, won this one. When Ron Paul (who served as the closest thing to a Democrat to riff off of) blamed America for 9/11, Giuliani jumped right in with genuine righteous indignation. It’s why we conservatives wish Giuliani were at least tolerable on the other issues so we could vote for them… you know, like he wasn’t actually scanning the crowds at campaign events for babies to abort.
For the other top tier candidates, Romney totally burned McCain when he insulted McCain-Feingold to big cheers from the crowd. McCain then smashed his podium in a rage and beat Romney like a drunken sailor before turning on the audience.
For the second tier candidates, Huckabee had the line of the night with “”Instead, we had a Congress that spent money like John Edwards in a beauty shop.” When asked about the jibe, Edwards said that Huckabee is “a pale-faced mealy-mouthed ninny and I hate him!”
Anyone watch the debate (or read lots of blog posts about it) and have an opinion?
UPDATE:
The Blender’s poll has a clear winner. He probably did steal a lot of the spotlight with that little video.