Obama’s numbers have kinda flat-lined, but I hear he has a historic speech coming up on August 28th that should give him a big boost in the polls.
Oh wait…
Archive of entries posted on August 2008
Why I Love the Sarah Palin Choice
Because (from a recent MorOn.Org email) it makes Democrats say things like this:
I think she’s far too inexperienced to be in this position. I’m all for a woman in the White House, but not one who hasn’t done anything to deserve it. There are far many other women who have worked their way up and have much more experience that would have been better choices. This is a patronizing decision on John McCain’s part- and insulting to females everywhere that he would assume he’ll get our vote by putting “A Woman” in that position.–Jennifer M., Anchorage, AK
Let’s do some subtle re-writing so that you can see why this makes me giggle so:
I think he’s far too inexperienced to be in this position. I’m all for an African-American in the White House, but not one who hasn’t done anything to deserve it. There are far many other African-Americans who have worked their way up and have much more experience that would have been better choices. This is a patronizing decision on the Democratic Party’s part – and insulting to African-Americans everywhere that they would assume they’ll get our vote by putting “An African-American” in that position.
Look for Jennifer’s PKB (pot – kettle – black) argument in various forms everywhere.
Troopergate
The only negative I know about Palin is the possible “Troopergate” scandal. Abuse of power would pretty much go against everything McCain and Palin are supposed to stand for. Flopping Aces has a good round up about it, and you can see why this “scandal” didn’t concern McCain.
Palin Versus Obama
Do you notice that after one day you can already name more Palin accomplishments from her reforming of Alaska’s government and running against the GOP establishment there than I can name Obama accomplishments after more than a year of hearing about him? Plus, she’s held actual jobs. I mean, what the hell is a “community organizer”? I swear, that guy is 48 and hasn’t done one useful thing in his entire life.
New McCain/Palin Bumper Stickers
News for Conservatives Just Keeps Getting Better
Fred Thompson will be replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Republican National Convention.
And have you seen the desperation in the left-wing nuts’ attacks on Palin? The rats are backed in a corner and lashing out with their tiny little claws.
Responding to Stuff
I got a lot of e-mails about this, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t me. Yeah, it does sound kinda like me, but I don’t remember writing that.
Also, a couple people forwarded me an e-mail (that I got myself) that Fred Thompson will have a announcement on Monday thinking that means he’s going to do a third-party run. Come on, people; he’s a party man, not a Don Quixote. I assume the announcement will be about his new FredPAC to support conservatives (like Palin).
Obama’s Story
If you’re getting excited about Palin, remember that Obama has a great story too:
I think Jon Stewart is about to get excommunicated from the left for blasphemy.
(hat tip Hot Air)
My Reaction to McCain Picking Sarah Palin
Sorry not to have reaction up right away, but I’m not one of those bloggers who can just post crap all day; I have to work for a living. Thus, I don’t go for immediacy; I go for quality. While all the other pea-brained bloggers are typing the first thing that leaves their puppy-soaked synapses, I sit in thoughtful contemplation. That’s what you expect from IMAO, and what keeps us consistently ranked as one of the top ten thousand political blogs.
Anyway, here’s the simplest way to put my reaction to McCain picking Sarah Palin: I actually spent time today seeing if McCain has a donation widget I could put on IMAO.
I was already prepared to use the money we would have given to a conservative candidate to buy more comic books, but SarahK says we have to donate to McCain now. It should be money well spent, too, just looking at the technical competence of the McCain campaign thus far. Their ads have been a lot more newsworthy than Obama’s boring, same-old tripe, and then this VP rollout left only about five seconds to discuss Obama’s “historic” speech.
And now conservatives are actually excited for a McCain candidacy (or perhaps, despite it). It’s crazy. Anyway, I’ll have more on Palin in the coming week, and until then just read up on her (basketball captain, beauty pageant contestant, hunter, sports newscaster, commercial fisherman, mother of five including a son who joined the Army on the sixth anniversary of 9-11 — can you get more American?) and you can consider donating to McCain here. Make sure to tell them IMAO sent you so we’re recognized as the kingmaker we are. And maybe they’ll get me that widget. Fred Thompson had a widget.
Put more stories of Palin’s awesomeness in the comments. And here’s video of her using an M-16. That’s how you take out a glass ceiling.
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Answer: Nothing, if it stands for Unqualified Stuttering Marxist Celebutard.
Seriously, though, the only people who should wear this shirt are Marines and people who admire them. It is NOT for use as some hoops-chump’s sweat-rag.
[Hat tip: Mike the Marine]
Barack Obama Speech Analysis
On the forty-fifth anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream Speech,” Barack Obama gave his speech accepting the nomination of the Democratic Party. King’s speech was about judging people not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, and while Obama’s character lacks any content whatsoever, this was still pretty historic. And, if you can’t nominate someone competent, you might as well go for someone historic.
Anyway, it was an important speech that everyone should be talking about for about five or six minutes until McCain’s running mate pick dominates the news cycle. Of course, I didn’t watch it; I was busy playing Pokemon on my DS. There’s these berry trees in the game that could die if I don’t water them once a day, and we Republicans are all about responsibility. Still, I rounded up the reactions of other people to Obama’s speech for your convenience:
REACTIONS TO OBAMA’S SPEECH
Nancy Pelosi: “It drilled my brains!”
Harry Reid:”I wish I got applauded after speaking.”
Tom Daschle: “Do you think he’ll hire me? Target is working me like a slave-driver.”
Joe Biden: “This was Obama at his most articulate. The speech was completely devoid of the ghetto slang we would expect from his kind.”
John McCain: “I’ve heard more coherent things out of gooks I’ve strangled. They also were less negative about me.”
Robert Byrd: “Holy crap, we just nominated a (censored)!”
Joe Lieberman: “They wouldn’t let me in the building.”
Keith Olbermann: “I had to change my pants twice during it.”
William Ayers: “To know my good friend Obama may go in the White House almost makes me not want to blow it up.”
Jeremiah Wright: “Bet the crackers ate that up.”
Kos: “Blig awagga gerrrrblah!”
Michael Moore: “After it, I was speechless and obese.”
Chris Matthews: “The doctors found out that the tingle up my leg is nerve damage.”
Hillary Clinton: “Enjoy your moment in the spotlight, wee child, but never think this is over.”
Fred Thompson: “I’ve crapped better speeches.”
Barack Obama: “It was the greatest speech ever given. It was like God Himself was speaking through me and then I realized: I’m God.”
Paris Hilton: “It lacked substance.”
Close Enough
As Laurie mentioned to me in a recent e-mail, although we’ve been wishing for this:
At least we got this:
Either way, it means she’ll be serving 2 to 4 in obscurity, and she’ll be out of our hair for a while.
Later, PIAPS.
Meanwhile, in IMAO programming news, there’ll be a new WEsistance Challenge up on Tuesday to welcome you back from the holiday weekend, and I’ll be pushing the lolterizt! post to Wednesday.
Now go celebrate Labor Day by not doing any.
Who?
Man, I was hoping to know McCain’s running mate by now so I could put up a fact sheet on him or her — information is why people come to IMAO — but McCain has certainly done a better job than Obama at keeping it a secret (yet another thing Obama is incompetent at). I tried calling McCain, but when he found out I was a conservative blogger he just went into a curse-filled rant.
Man, wouldn’t it be cool if it were Fred Thompson? And they had live video of Biden crapping his pants during the announcement? Pundits would be like, “They’re too old.” And Fred Thompson would be like, “Your heads are too ripped off,” and then he’d rip off their heads.
We can dream.
Pelosi Endorses “Drill Here, Drill Now” Strategy To Address Democrat Brain Shortage
DENVER (AP) – At a train station outside the Democrat convention, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi sought volunteers to help ease the severe shortage of gray matter in the Democrat Party, asking one group “can we drill your brains?”.
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“It’s no secret that Democrats have been low on brains for a long time now,” said Pelosi, “as our convention so sadly illustrates. From our presumptive candidate not knowing whether he was in St. Louis or Kansas City, to his mental defective veep referring to him as ‘Barack America’, to our tribute to Ted Kennedy opening AND closing with scenes of open water – dear God in heaven, we just aren’t that bright.”
While some in the Democrat party have advocated clean, renewable sources of brains – such as babies – left-wing scientists are unable to discover a practical method of bringing them out into the world alive so that they can grow. “There’s no commercially viable way to turn these bits of fetal tissue into something that can think like a human being,” noted Pelosi, “even the Pope agrees with that.”
“We’ve tried using trained monkeys as a substitute for smart people,” said the Speaker, “but all that got us was MoveOn.org.”
The Democrat party is currently heavily dependent on brains from overseas, such as Canadian health ministers, Iranian mullahs, and Manifesto-writing Russian philosophers. Such a strategically questionable over-reliance on foreign sources puts Liberals in a precarious position. “What if the rest of the world suddenly stopped thinking in a socially responsible fashion and simply left the United States to think for itself? Some people scoff that this could never happen, but those people have obviously forgotten about the dreadful Reagan years.”
“So I think that, in the end, our only realistic choice is to drill for brains here in the US,” concluded Pelosi. “Then again, ramming a 4-inch steel bit through someone’s skull with a Black & Decker cordless might actually be a monumentally idiotic feel-good pipe-dream instead of a sensible plan for ensuring the future of our nation. But I’m a Democrat, so I really wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”