* If we have another Great Depression, know who would be a great spokesman for it? Tony the Tiger. “This depression is grrrrrreat!”
* Have you seen pictures of the Great Depression? Poor people dressed a lot better back then. We could maybe use a depression if it will teach us all to dress more formally.
* And what would we call this Great Depression? “Great Depression 2: This Time It’s Personal”? The media will probably give it some lame name like “All Bush’s Fault Depression.” I propose “That Bitch Pelosi’s Great Depression”; that has a certain ring to it.
* And what was her argument to Republicans? “Bush is stupid and has done everything wrong, so let’s blindly give him $700 billion.” She really should be living alone in a broken down house with twelve cats.
* Pelosi should just feel lucky she doesn’t have to run in any sort of national election. At this point, Republicans could just run a turnip in a jaunty hat against her and it would win in a landslide.
* Actually, has McCain considered wearing a jaunty hat to try and get some movement in the polls? People might be more inclined to vote for him if he shows more jauntiness.
* Yeah, I don’t know what “jaunty” means, but it’s a neat word.
* If we have a huge crisis, why is Congress taking a break for a Jewish holiday? Oh yeah — Jews run the banks. Can’t get anything done today, then.
* So what are some good depression era jobs? I guess boxing is one, because I saw a movie where a guy boxed his way out of the Great Depression. I think blogger is another, because people are going to be looking to bloggers to give them hope. Well, I’m sorry, you can’t have any of my hope; I only have enough for me and my family.
* I guess the salvation of America comes down to Palin. She has to trounce Biden in the debate or we could fall forever into socialism. My advice to Palin: Hit Biden where he is most vulnerable — the gonads.
* Maybe this whole crisis will help get McCain elected over the inexperienced Obama, though. Like when I was a little kid, my dad would sometimes let me shift gears on the truck for him and everyone would thing that was cute and all. But when we were in a high speed chase with the cops, it was time for the adult to control things.
* Of course, the best solution to this crisis could be to do nothing. I always prefer to do nothing if that might work out. It’s a political philosophy of mine, though some people just call it laziness.
* And can we actually end up out on the streets as hobos? I mean, we have all these unsold houses, so I don’t see why we should end up homeless. Then again, you could be in a perfectly cromulent house right now, and the government may decide to burn it down to drive up housing prices. Government! :: shakes fist ::
* If Glenn Reynolds becomes a hobo, do you think he’ll murder himself?
* So what’s worse case scenario? I guess everything collapses and in the panic the Democrats are successful in taking over America with socialism. They then change the name of this country to something less provocative like “The North American Cooperative” and the country limps along for a little while longer before finally dying in a whimper. Still, if that happens, you have to admit we had a pretty damn good run these past two hundred and thirty years — something to be proud of. Well, time to start on that next country! Yay! This time when we make a Constitution, let’s see if we can think out that Supreme Court thing a little better.
* Just one last thing: Dooom! Dooooooooooom! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
* There, I feel better.