I Was Watching FOX Today…

Did they bring back the X-Files?
UPDATE:
J.J. Abrams on the comparisons of Fringe with the X-Files.

A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 38 – Choosing Sides

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Bryce and Lulu, hands still cuffed behind their backs, were led out of the transport to a landing platform atop the research center where a half dozen Protectors — or at least people in Protector uniforms — were waiting for the new arrivals.
“They’re all fakes! Shoot them! Shoot them now!” Lulu yelled.
“Darius is here,” one of them said, ignoring Lulu.
“We knew that,” Lara responded.
Colette and her men looked surprised. “We?”
“You know your part in this; let us handle ours.” Lara walked over to Bryce and Lulu but looked to the guards behind them. “Take Ronove new test subjects to their room.”
“So what are you doing with us?” Bryce asked.
“Fun stuff, I assure you,” Lara said with mild annoyance.
“Seriously, what the hell are you doing with them?” Colette asked.
“I don’t answer to you anymore, Colette.” Lara looked at Charlene. “You know your job?”
“It’ll get done.” Charlene turned to Bryce and Lulu. “Just don’t be stupid. Your one advantage in the end is that no one really cares whether in the end you’re alive or dead.”
Lulu spat at her. “Don’t even talk to us, you downward facing dog!”
Charlene headed inside with some of the Amazons in disguise. Bryce and Lulu were led to another entrance by two Amazons, one dressed as a Protector and another as staff. The area seemed empty and, they were soon led into what looked like an examination room. “Sit down and be quiet,” they were ordered.
Bryce and Lulu complied, taking two small chairs at the back of the room.
The tall one in the Protector uniform took of the skull-like mask. “What’s with these stupid helmets?”
“They’re supposed to be intimidating,” the other Amazon answered.
“Also, it conceals your ugly face!” Lulu turned to Bryce. “Zing! I got her good. Didn’t I?”
The tall one walked over and punched Lulu in the gut, knocking her to the ground. “I thought I told you to stay quiet, you stupid skank.”
“I thought that was just a boilerplate threat since we’re hostages!” Lulu got back to her chair. “I didn’t know you meant it seriously!” Lulu started crying. “And you didn’t have to call me names! That’s just being mean for no reason!”
The woman sighed. “How long are we supposed to wait here?”
“They’ll give us a signal when we can move them further in without risk of notice,” the other answered.
“You’re my boyfriend today,” Lulu whispered to Bryce. “You have to beat her up for being mean to me.”
“I’m not your boyfriend, Tri-Lu… and I don’t beat up women.”
Lulu rolled her eyes. “So you’re only for emotionally harming them?”
Bryce scoffed. “I don’t respond to cheap shots like that.”
“What are you two talking about?” the mean woman asked.
Lulu stood up. “We’re plotting to kill you.” She walked over to the enemy. “And it’s going to be such a good plot, there will be nothing you can do to stop it!”
Bryce got up too. “Lu, let’s not do this.”
“You don’t want to mess with me!” Lulu, her hands still cuffed behind her back, stood up threateningly to their two guards. “I’m very Asian! I could use all manner of kung fu on you!”
“You two better…” The mean woman was interrupted by Lulu’s forehead slamming into her face. The other Amazon rushed to help, but Bryce slipped his hand out of the loosed cuffs and grabbed her in a chokehold. He held her tight until she went unconscious and gently brought her to the ground. Bryce then looked towards Lulu to see she had also removed her cuffs and was busy slamming a head repeatedly into a table.
“That doesn’t look like kung fu.” Bryce began finally removing the shiny Serpine uniform he had on.
“She wasn’t worth kung fu.” Lulu tossed the body to the ground. “So how long is yours going to be out?”
Bryce shrugged. “I really don’t the science behind choking people.” He finished getting off his uniform and straightened the suit he had on underneath.
“You could have just snapped her neck.” Lulu started removing her uniform too.
“Is it really as simple as they make it look on TV?” Bryce took a pistol off the unconscious woman and placed it in the holster under his shirt jacket. “You just twist the head really hard or something and ‘snap’ the guy’s dead?”
“I dunno. Ask Charlene.” Lulu fixed the skirt of the business suit she had on and took a pair of glasses out of the breast pocket.
“I’m afraid she’d get overzealous in the instructions.” Bryce took a transmitter out of his pocket and placed it in his ear. “The puppies got hugs.”
“Any response?” Lulu took a pistol off of her victim.
“She’s probably not in a position to talk… and you don’t get to come up with code phrases anymore.”
“Someone had to take charge and do it.” Lulu hit a small button on the side of her glasses. “I think I know where we are. Just follow me.”
They headed towards the exit to see that Colette was standing there watching. “You guys really like people underestimating you, don’t you?”
“Glad you’re here,” Lulu said. “There was a big accident and–”
“I don’t care what you care what you did to Elza’s idiots. I’ll probably kill a few myself before the day is over.”
Bryce contemplated whether he could reach for his gun in a casual manner. “Uh… aren’t they your allies.”
Colette shrugged. “It’s getting hard to keep track these days.” She inspected the woman at Bryce’s feet. “This one isn’t dead.” Colette picked the woman up by her neck with one hand, snapped it, and tossed the body aside without the slightest effort.
“Yes, a lot of duplicity going about. It’s a shame.” Bryce smiled, acting best he could that he hadn’t seen anything at all that might be considered quite disturbing.
“I think we’re up to like quinplicity at this point.” Lulu turned to Colette with fierce determination on her face. “Anyhoo, you can try and kill us if you want, but people usually find that’s a lot more trouble than it’s worth. And if you’re angry about me kicking you out a window, I just want you to know that was done totally in jest.”
She chuckled. “I’m not here to kill you. Here’s the situation, Hellbender, there’s a huge conflict brewing, and Dammon’s decided it’s time to pick sides.”
“So… you’re picking Asmod or Serpine’s side?” Bryce asked.
“Actually, we think they’re both really just bystanders in this conflict.” Collete said. “The side we’re picking is yours.”
Lulu gave her the thumbs up. “Smart choice.” She then turned to Bryce and whispered, “We count as a side?”
NEXT

In 4-3 decision, California justices rule that simians have fundamental ‘right to marry’

SAN FRANCISCO — — The California Supreme Court struck down the state’s ban on simian marriage Thursday in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of species. The 4-3 ruling declared that the state Constitution protects a fundamental “right to marry” that extends equally to simian couples. It tossed a highly emotional issue into the election year while opening the way for tens of thousands of simians to wed in California, starting as early as mid-September.
The majority opinion, by Chief Justice Ronald M. George, declared that any law that discriminates on the basis of species will from this point on be constitutionally suspect in California in the same way as laws that discriminate by race or gender, making the state’s high court the first in the nation to adopt such a stringent standard. The decision was a bold surprise from a moderately conservative, Republican-dominated court that legal scholars have long dubbed “cautious,” and experts said it was likely to influence other courts around the country.
But the scope of the court’s decision could be thrown into question by an initiative already heading toward the November ballot. The initiative would amend the state Constitution to prohibit simian unions.
Conservative and religious-affiliated groups denounced the decision and pledged to bring enough voters to the polls in November to overturn it. Mathew Staver, founder of Liberty Counsel, called the decision “outrageous” and “nonsense.” “No matter how you stretch California’s Constitution, you cannot find anywhere in its text, its history or tradition that now, after so many years, it magically protects what most societies condemn,” Staver said.
“What the court recognized today is that it’s time for that historic prejudice to end and the state should no longer participate in it in any way,” said Therese Stewart, a deputy city attorney who argued on behalf of the plaintiffs.

Conservative Concerns About Palin

I notice I’ve been getting a lot of comments on IMAO by conservatives who have reservations about John McCain’s running mate, Governor Sarah Palin. I thought I might post some here and respond to them.

I am a conservative who is voting for McCain, but I am now concerned that he will lose because of he nominated the inexperienced Palin. We need to write letters to him to urge him to pick someone else.
Once again, I am a conservative.

I hear your concerns, but all the polling shows McCain having a huge boost since picking Palin. Also, Palin does quite well experience wise when compared to Obama which only highlights his lack of accomplishments when compared to how much Palin had done in a relatively short time.

I am a conservative who enjoys tax cuts and the shooting of the gun, but I can no longer support McCain now that he has taken the scandal ridden Palin as his running mate. The National Enquirer is going to expose her affair and sink her. This is of great concern to me since I am a conservative like you.

While it’s nice to hear from a tax-cutting, NRA-supporting conservative like myself, I think you may be blowing things out of proportion. Palin has had some minor issues which don’t count as scandals, and the National Enquirer has no evidence of an affair and has based its findings on pure speculation (unlike when they exposed John Edwards). This is nothing any conservative should worry about.

I am a conservative who likes NASCAR and racism and being a stoopid hillbilly. I love Palin because she’s a religious extremist like me who wants to destroy science and teach creationism. She also hates condoms! She is greatest! Me conservative!

Palin only ever said she would support talking about creationism if a student brought it up in class, and I don’t even know where the hates condoms idea comes from. You must be getting your information from places like the Daily Kos, which is an odd place for a conservative to go. You should be careful about place that deal in false information, as you could end up with some crazy views if you believe it.

I am a liberal who likes to pee on himself and loves Obama. I’m too stupid to notice he’s never accomplished anything in his entire life and am going to vote for him because I’m an easily led cult follower. I like to eat my own poo. Once again, I am liberal and retarded.

We don’t get many comments from liberals, but I appreciate your honesty and candor.

Hahahaha stupi d republicans! that Palin [expletive deleted] is going to sink you all! you right wing nut job are finally getting what’s coming to you! [expletive deleted] you all, you [expletive deleted] religious nut jobs. your going to lose, you redneck [expletive deleted]. hahahahahahah!!
By the way, I am a real conservative.

I thought I told you to stay away from my blog, Sullivan.

Trolls

I’m getting a bit confused who are the fake the trolls and who are the real trolls cut and pasting things from the Daily Kos that were debunked days ago. Please identify whether you are real or not in the comments.

Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh . . .



Want your stuff back after RNC? Most who were arrested get theirs, others go away empty-handed.
More than 800 people arrested during Republican National Convention protests had their first opportunity on Monday to get their belongings — keys, wallets and cell phones — back from police, but some were stymied.
“This is the epitome of insult to injury,” said Kris Hermes, a National Lawyers Guild legal observer at the St. Paul police impound lot, where people were sent to get their property. “There were a large number of people today who returned to homes across the country empty-handed.” Hermes said most people were getting their property back, including those arrested on the first day of the Sept. 1-4 convention after having to wait a week.
But there were snafus.
Some were told police couldn’t find their property, and some were missing things, including a man who said his prescription sunglasses were no longer in his bag, Hermes said. Others didn’t have the identification needed to show police to get their property, because their IDs were with their impounded property, Hermes said. Some were told police would call them about their property, though their cell phones also were in police custody.
St. Paul police spokesman Tom Walsh said the “vast majority” of people were getting their property back Monday. He said he thought there were “very few” cases of property not being found. Normally, after a St. Paul officer arrests a person, he or she goes to the property room at police headquarters to retrieve belongings. But because of the number of RNC-related arrests, police designated the impound lot as an overflow site. Three men jailed last week filed a petition Thursday in Ramsey County District Court, saying their personal effects weren’t returned when they were released. A judge dismissed the petition Friday, saying the attorney should have used a different legal action to recover the property. Walsh said Monday was the first day people could get property back, because a security perimeter had been set up around police headquarters and some of the property was there.
On Monday, many who went to the Grove Street headquarters were directed to the impound lot, off Concord Street on St. Paul’s West Side. Nathan Barten, who said he was cited Thursday for presence at an unlawful assembly, couldn’t drive because police had his car keys. When he found his property wasn’t at headquarters, he biked over to the impound lot. It’s about three miles by car, but Barten said he couldn’t take a direct route because bikes aren’t allowed on U.S. 52 At the impound lot, Barten said he was told he had to go back to headquarters to get his tracking number, needed to find his property. The number was supposed to be on a wristband given when he was arrested. He brought the band with him Monday, but the number wasn’t there. “I’m pretty frustrated,” said Barten, of Delano. “I didn’t resist at all when I was arrested, I gave my full name, and now I don’t have a (tracking) number they never gave me.”
Nicole Armbruster, of Washington, D.C., got her property Monday but was trying to pick up belongings of two friends who had returned to work in Boston. Armbruster, who said she was cited for presence at an unlawful assembly, said they were told she could present photocopies of her friends’ driver’s licenses, along with signed notes saying she had permission to get their property. But on Monday, Armbruster said, police told her the notes needed to be notarized. She was trying to get her friends to fax the notarized copies to police. Because some people didn’t give their names to police, sorting out their property was a problem. One woman who used the alias Jessie Sparkles, as did others, was trying to get her belongings. The woman, who didn’t give her name to a reporter but said she was from Indiana, said she was told police had “thrown the stuff together” with that of others who hadn’t given their names and that it could be two weeks before she got her property back. The woman said some people booked as John or Jane Doe had gotten their property back.
Walsh said if John or Jane Does identify themselves and their property, they’ll get it back. He said he was unsure of the timeline. “People did what they could to obfuscate and confuse the issue,” he said.”They’re trying to be held unaccountable for their actions and get their property back.”
Michelle Gross, Communities United Against Police Brutality president, said she gave police her real name when cited for presence at an unlawful assembly Thursday night. But Gross, who lives in Minneapolis, said police had her property logged as belonging to Sara Faith Gross (she doesn’t know where Sara came from; Faith is her middle name) and it took about 90 minutes to get her purse back Monday.
Matt Connell, of Minneapolis, said he had to go without his medication for a few days after his arrest Sept. 1. Connell said he was held for about six hours and released with a citation for presence at an unlawful assembly. He didn’t have keys to get into his apartment or for a lockbox that holds prescription medication he takes daily. Connell said he had to break into the lockbox, at his girlfriend’s home, to get the medicine. At the impound lot Monday, Connell said, police told him they couldn’t find his property, but that it might be in the property room at headquarters. He checked; it wasn’t there, and he went back to the impound lot, where Connell said he was eventually told his property was at the Bloomington police department, though he was arrested in St. Paul. He was heading to Bloomington late Monday afternoon. “I was so angry all week,” Connell said earlier. “Now, I’m just tired.”

Hellbender Later Today

And more later this week if no trolls disturb me.

Obama No Longer Losing the Election

Though there’s a lot to laugh at about Obama’s fortunes lately, I can’t laugh too much. Obama was a completely frivolous choice by the Democrats in a time of war, and when they should be able to run away with this election they seemed set to lose it.
But now that’s changed. Obama is no longer losing as much as McCain is winning. McCain isn’t doing so well because Obama sucks (though he does suck) as much as people are looking forward to voting for him (well, vote for Palin — but she was his idea!). It’s starting to seem like if the Democrats had nominated a competent politician, McCain might still be winning.
So I can’t laugh as much at the Democrats’ silly choice, because it might not matter in the end.