I heard that he HOPES to take some of America’s unfairly earned land and spread it to the other continents. It’s only fair. Why do we need all that land? I sure HOPE that The One, in his magnanimous glory, spreads some more of this kool-aid to me. Tastes like raspberry!
1/4 of our nuclear inventory to Mexico!
Free tacos for a year at any Taco Bell paid for by Obama to any new arrivals from down south. Two if a member of a nasty gang!
Rush Limbaugh consigned to Air America by government order as part of the “Fairness Doctrine”
All White House Interns interviewed and approved by Bill Clinton
US joins the European Union. We now spend the Euro rather than the Dollar.
Supreme Court replaced with International Court
Military is mandatory Gay. Hetro is don’t ask don’t tell.
Rosie is given Prime Time News slot on all three networks plus all Cable Channels including FOX.
Nancy Pelosi buys California
Harry Reid buys Nevada
John McCain crosses the aisle and becomes a Republican in disgust!
#22. Singlehandedly saves the economy by sending Hope vouchers to all Americans (except those who actually produce something) — “all Americans (well, some) can now Hope for free!”
#23. Wipes out gains in Hope by deciding to put in a new Hope Tax. “See, the problem is that you’ve got some people who are full of hope and some who are hopeless. So we need to take a little of that hope away from the hopeful and spread it around to the hopeless to make it fair.” The Hope futures market collapses.
Things Obama can at least take credit for (better late than never!):
* Arctic ice pack returning to normal
* Global temperature drop of .75 degrees
* Scandinavian glaciers rebuilding
* Return of oil to under $50/barrel
* Iraq death toll lowest since 2003
None of these are funny. But then, I’m not a funny guy. I’ll try to do better.
* Declaring a national campaign to cure stuttering by 2012.
* Placing ‘facial tics’ on the CDC’s list of infectious diseases.
* Convincing Congress to pass the National Preschool Sex Education Act.
* Having neighborhood library ‘bookmobiles’ converted to abortion on demand vans.
* Installing an automatic waffle maker and a cigarette dispenser in the Oval Office (only Federal facility where smoking is allowed).
I was listening to Hannity playing all the bad things Hill-Dawg and Obama were saying about each other less than a year ago. How in God’s name can these people be on the same page? They disagreed on everything for which she has to represent him. At least it’s going to be a humorous time for us.
Sometime in his first 100 days The Mutt better start passing out that hopenchange shit he’s been talking about. I’ve been hearing so much about hope and change lately that it has surely become just one item of business instead of the laborious two.
Hopenchange will take our pain away. Hopenchange will make the rest of the world like us. Hopenchange will absolve us of our collective sins and when The Mutt destroys the world we will all go to Heaven.
* After thrice denying Obama’s clean articulation, Biden weeps for his lack of faith at the sound of a Clinton crowing. Afterward, Obambi gets crucified in the media for being less leftist than was originally thought. But the MSM just can’t stay mad at the li’l guy & after three days, he gets restored to deity status. Arugula for everyone!
Does anyone really think that Hillary can actually do the job of Secretary of State?
I mean, come on. The job requires a statesman not a screeching hag with thighs the size of White House pillars. She’ll have the State staff backstabbing each other and in tears half the time. She’ll be like pouring gasoline on a fire to put it out. She has neither the patience nor the management skills nor the historical knowledge for the job. Hell, her menopausal hot flashes will probably catch her desk on fire. I pity the foreign diplomats that have to deal with her.
However, she’ll probably present some good blogging opportunities for Frank. Where is Frank? Fraaaaaaaank?
I think you’re overlooking the positive aspects of Hillary as Sec of State. If you were a foreign diplomat would YOU dare disagree with her? She may just crush you between those aforementioned thighs. Or find you the next morning in Ft. Marcy Park. I think this will be the true ascendancy of American World Domination.
You have a point, farmboy from Kansas. If you think chaos at State will tend positive about half the time, she could be alright. However, I just imagine the overall chaos she’ll bring. Bad chaos. And fights with The One. Can you imagine her “taking orders” from Bambi? Hahahahahaha.
AP. The incoming Obama administration, in an effort to soothe growing fears over a sinking economy and rising world tensions, has just announced that 2009 is canceled. “We’re just writing it off,” said one Obama aid. “There is no way we can deal with all the problems out there. We’ll spend the year working on things to change in 2010. That’s the year it’ll all come together for us. You just watch.”
Apparently, the outgoing Bush administration is also puzzled at the current turn of events causing President Bush to apologize for the economic crisis and seek isolation by sticking his head in a White House toilet and leaving it there. “Tell us when it’s January 20, 2009!” yelled Henry Paulson, running down the hall after the President. As he rounded the corner to the bathroom, he was heard to scream “Don’t flush, Mr. President!! Don’t do anything rash!”
After the announcement, President-elect Obama was not available for comment as his head was stuck in a bucket. “At least it’s not up my a$$… yet! This job is scary, man” said Obama as he tried to light a cigarette in the bucket, burning is lip. Apparently, the effort made his facial tic stop leading aids to mumble “Maybe smoke is a good thing for him. More cigarettes!!”
Vice President-elect Biden had no comment about the cancellation either and his whereabouts were unknown. “He might be doing laundry, today.” speculated an Obama secretary. “Yesterday, he said he was out of shorts. And hair thingys.”
#22 made me laugh. And no, #21, no blog. Basil and spacemonkey are way funnier. Now, it’s Frank J. I’m worried about. And Harvey. Where are they? Have they lost “teh funny” bone?
Have you ever seen the Stargate show where some aliens invade Daniel Jackson’s body and they each have control briefly but one or two try to take over?
I figure that’s what FrankJ’s doing lately, Harvey is trying to take over his body.
Actually, it was me who recommended Hills as Secy of State, so that I could tag along and hang out with all the dignitaries wives: “Woo yeah, foreign chicks!”
Jimmy,
I believe Frank is on vacation, and since we all know that Harvey is just Frank when he is off his medication for MPD(multiple personality disorder) he is unable to post til Frank gets back from vacation.
So.. Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks over and says “Wow! Neat! Where did you get that from?” “Kenya”, replies the parrot.
Does nobody realize that the Secretary of State serves at the discretion of the President? He can fire Hillary’s ass five minutes after the NY governor appoints a replacement to her senate seat.
On second thought, maybe this is a grand Democrat plan to get rid of the Clintons. Hillary resigns before her confirmation (since she can’t vote on her own confirmation), Gov. Paterson appoints a replacement, then the Senate votes down her confirmation. Problem solved.
Will the 30 pieces of silver be funded by the bailout money?
I heard that he HOPES to take some of America’s unfairly earned land and spread it to the other continents. It’s only fair. Why do we need all that land? I sure HOPE that The One, in his magnanimous glory, spreads some more of this kool-aid to me. Tastes like raspberry!
1/4 of our nuclear inventory to Mexico!
Free tacos for a year at any Taco Bell paid for by Obama to any new arrivals from down south. Two if a member of a nasty gang!
Rush Limbaugh consigned to Air America by government order as part of the “Fairness Doctrine”
All White House Interns interviewed and approved by Bill Clinton
US joins the European Union. We now spend the Euro rather than the Dollar.
Supreme Court replaced with International Court
Military is mandatory Gay. Hetro is don’t ask don’t tell.
Rosie is given Prime Time News slot on all three networks plus all Cable Channels including FOX.
Nancy Pelosi buys California
Harry Reid buys Nevada
John McCain crosses the aisle and becomes a Republican in disgust!
#22. Singlehandedly saves the economy by sending Hope vouchers to all Americans (except those who actually produce something) — “all Americans (well, some) can now Hope for free!”
#23. Wipes out gains in Hope by deciding to put in a new Hope Tax. “See, the problem is that you’ve got some people who are full of hope and some who are hopeless. So we need to take a little of that hope away from the hopeful and spread it around to the hopeless to make it fair.” The Hope futures market collapses.
Things Obama can at least take credit for (better late than never!):
* Arctic ice pack returning to normal
* Global temperature drop of .75 degrees
* Scandinavian glaciers rebuilding
* Return of oil to under $50/barrel
* Iraq death toll lowest since 2003
None of these are funny. But then, I’m not a funny guy. I’ll try to do better.
Learns to ‘walk like an Egyptian’ so his back is always to the nearest wall when Hillary is around.
* Declaring a national campaign to cure stuttering by 2012.
* Placing ‘facial tics’ on the CDC’s list of infectious diseases.
* Convincing Congress to pass the National Preschool Sex Education Act.
* Having neighborhood library ‘bookmobiles’ converted to abortion on demand vans.
* Installing an automatic waffle maker and a cigarette dispenser in the Oval Office (only Federal facility where smoking is allowed).
This was obviously not prophesied by Biden as it was clearly audible over the foot he usually has in his mouth.
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I was listening to Hannity playing all the bad things Hill-Dawg and Obama were saying about each other less than a year ago. How in God’s name can these people be on the same page? They disagreed on everything for which she has to represent him. At least it’s going to be a humorous time for us.
*Arrives at inauguration riding an ass, (Joe Biden)
*Passes rich conservatives through the eye of a needle.
*Raises Marxism from the dead.
When do I get my Hope Voucher?
Sometime in his first 100 days The Mutt better start passing out that hopenchange shit he’s been talking about. I’ve been hearing so much about hope and change lately that it has surely become just one item of business instead of the laborious two.
Hopenchange will take our pain away. Hopenchange will make the rest of the world like us. Hopenchange will absolve us of our collective sins and when The Mutt destroys the world we will all go to Heaven.
Mitch Rapp
* After thrice denying Obama’s clean articulation, Biden weeps for his lack of faith at the sound of a Clinton crowing. Afterward, Obambi gets crucified in the media for being less leftist than was originally thought. But the MSM just can’t stay mad at the li’l guy & after three days, he gets restored to deity status. Arugula for everyone!
I heard he made a deaf man blind.
Blind man says: What?
Does anyone really think that Hillary can actually do the job of Secretary of State?
I mean, come on. The job requires a statesman not a screeching hag with thighs the size of White House pillars. She’ll have the State staff backstabbing each other and in tears half the time. She’ll be like pouring gasoline on a fire to put it out. She has neither the patience nor the management skills nor the historical knowledge for the job. Hell, her menopausal hot flashes will probably catch her desk on fire. I pity the foreign diplomats that have to deal with her.
However, she’ll probably present some good blogging opportunities for Frank. Where is Frank? Fraaaaaaaank?
I think you’re overlooking the positive aspects of Hillary as Sec of State. If you were a foreign diplomat would YOU dare disagree with her? She may just crush you between those aforementioned thighs. Or find you the next morning in Ft. Marcy Park. I think this will be the true ascendancy of American World Domination.
You have a point, farmboy from Kansas. If you think chaos at State will tend positive about half the time, she could be alright. However, I just imagine the overall chaos she’ll bring. Bad chaos. And fights with The One. Can you imagine her “taking orders” from Bambi? Hahahahahaha.
I rated this post a 5. If it matters.
*** Breaking News ***
AP. The incoming Obama administration, in an effort to soothe growing fears over a sinking economy and rising world tensions, has just announced that 2009 is canceled. “We’re just writing it off,” said one Obama aid. “There is no way we can deal with all the problems out there. We’ll spend the year working on things to change in 2010. That’s the year it’ll all come together for us. You just watch.”
Apparently, the outgoing Bush administration is also puzzled at the current turn of events causing President Bush to apologize for the economic crisis and seek isolation by sticking his head in a White House toilet and leaving it there. “Tell us when it’s January 20, 2009!” yelled Henry Paulson, running down the hall after the President. As he rounded the corner to the bathroom, he was heard to scream “Don’t flush, Mr. President!! Don’t do anything rash!”
After the announcement, President-elect Obama was not available for comment as his head was stuck in a bucket. “At least it’s not up my a$$… yet! This job is scary, man” said Obama as he tried to light a cigarette in the bucket, burning is lip. Apparently, the effort made his facial tic stop leading aids to mumble “Maybe smoke is a good thing for him. More cigarettes!!”
Vice President-elect Biden had no comment about the cancellation either and his whereabouts were unknown. “He might be doing laundry, today.” speculated an Obama secretary. “Yesterday, he said he was out of shorts. And hair thingys.”
Jimmy do you have a blog anywhere because you are a lot funnier than basil or spacemonkey and I’m ready for a Change!
Hillary Clinton announced today that it’s time we try a fat ass, bull dyke with a big mouth and zero personality at State…err…what? Oh yes…never mind…
#22 made me laugh. And no, #21, no blog. Basil and spacemonkey are way funnier. Now, it’s Frank J. I’m worried about. And Harvey. Where are they? Have they lost “teh funny” bone?
Have you ever seen the Stargate show where some aliens invade Daniel Jackson’s body and they each have control briefly but one or two try to take over?
I figure that’s what FrankJ’s doing lately, Harvey is trying to take over his body.
Actually, it was me who recommended Hills as Secy of State, so that I could tag along and hang out with all the dignitaries wives: “Woo yeah, foreign chicks!”
Jimmy,
I believe Frank is on vacation, and since we all know that Harvey is just Frank when he is off his medication for MPD(multiple personality disorder) he is unable to post til Frank gets back from vacation.
So.. Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks over and says “Wow! Neat! Where did you get that from?” “Kenya”, replies the parrot.
Does nobody realize that the Secretary of State serves at the discretion of the President? He can fire Hillary’s ass five minutes after the NY governor appoints a replacement to her senate seat.
On second thought, maybe this is a grand Democrat plan to get rid of the Clintons. Hillary resigns before her confirmation (since she can’t vote on her own confirmation), Gov. Paterson appoints a replacement, then the Senate votes down her confirmation. Problem solved.
“I see!”, said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.