I take back nearly four percent of the bad things I’ve said about him.
Archive of entries posted on June 2009
The Only Thing Inexpensive About Obama
John Hawkins has found that there are some great deals now on Obama collector’s plates. They’re getting so inexpensive that soon it will be cheaper to buy them than regular plates. Think of it: You could microwave a burrito on Obama. It would be the first useful thing he’s ever done.
lolterizt! Part 84
This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From DamnCat:
Also from DamnCat:
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From Jared:
From MarkoMancuso:
From Rhett:
From Rusty:
From Sir Wellington’s Beef Trapeze:
Also from Sir Wellington’s Beef Trapeze:
From Yale:
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
Obama the Sociopath
Okay, I can see an argument for not more forcefully condemning Iran and for not breaking off negotiations with them — I mean, I hugely disagree and think we have a sissy for a president, but those arguments at least exist in my universe. What I don’t get is this not rescinding a party invite. For the first time since 1979, Iran is being invited to our Independence Day barbecue. And I guess we’ll hand out moist towelettes on the way in so people can wipe off the blood of the oppressed.
This is so horrible, I expected it to be debunked on Snopes. I don’t mindlessly believe anything bad about Obama; if someone came up to me and said, “Do you know Obama has a secret rape room in the White House where he sodomizes puppies?” I’d say, “Did you know you’re a moron?” And this inviting a oppressive regime in the middle of brutalizing its people to a barbecue sounds made up. It’s like if Kim Jong Il nuked someone and Obama wouldn’t rescind his standing invitation to him to come over and play Rock Band. And to put this in perspective: It was Carter who first stopped inviting Iran.
Obama has finally done it. He’s become more of a capitulating sissy than Carter.
I haven’t even heard how liberals are planning to defend this one, but so far their answer to all of Obama sissiness is that he’s just being smart and not letting emotions let him do anything rash. At what point, though, does turning a blind eye to the suffering of others makes him a sociopath? Isn’t it always the bad guy in the movies who let’s horrible things happen for the greater good?
I hope he’ll at least reconsider inviting Iran over to celebrate America’s Independence. Maybe he can do something less anathema to the spirit of the day, like urinating on George Washington’s grave.
Obama is so useless and ineffective as president that…
Random Thoughts
A house bit me during the full moon. I hope it wasn’t a werehouse.
One of the main features of mammals is hair, but we, the most advanced mammal, have relatively little hair. Weird. I guess hair is great and all, but once you can figure out how to sharpen a rock to use as a tool, there’s just less use for it. And futuristic people and aliens are often portrayed as bald. The more advanced your technology, the even less you need hair.
In this situation, we should ask ourselves, “What would Ron Paul do?” And then what to do if kung fu fighting invisible ninjas doesn’t work.
So how many dictatorships has Obama saved or created?
That’s it! I’m running away from home and joining the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad!
My stupid dog has no appreciations of fine wines. You don’t just lap them up, idjit.
Kangaroo courts are as bad as they say. Prosecuting kangaroos get to badger witnesses and ask leading questions. Also, lots of hopping.
If being a man is too much for Obama, could he at least aim for butch lesbian?
For all we know, Sanford could be being attacked by a polar bear as we tweet. Did they check the shadow of the statue?
We’ve gone from: “You can’t expect Obama to speak out” to “You can’t expect him to not negotiate” to “Let’s have a fun party together!”
Best 4th of July celebration would be personally strangling the bastards.
Brutally murdering people isn’t enough to lose a party invitation from Obama. Kinda puts his relationship with Ayers in a new light.
New hard line from Obama: If Iran continues its brutal behavior, no sprinkles at the ice cream social.
Can we all calm down and admit that nothing that’s happened in Iran is worth people’s feelings getting hurt over not getting a party invite?
Obama’s actions remind me of all the great leaders who stood silent during massive atrocities.
It’s so wrong to find it funny that Perez Hilton got beaten up, but I CAN’T HELP IT!
Capitalist Propaganda: “Yankee Dood It”
From 1956, a Looney Tunes piece that ends up slipping in a plug for capitalism, “Yankee Dood It“:
After a good five minutes of goofy cartoon antics, the Shoemaker eventually pops the question:
“But I want to stay in business. How can I do it?” Whereupon the helpful elf gives him an earful of free-market know-how.
Were this cartoon made today, I fear the answer would be “give a few hundred thousand dollars to Barack Obama in the form of ‘campaign donations’ that don’t trigger the reporting requirement, don’t give your executives bonuses that are ‘too big’, and for heaven’s sake, DON’T GO TO VEGAS!”
Obama is so useless and ineffective as president that…
Obama Loves His Ice Cream
Found this image from Jim Treacher of Obama enjoying his ice cream while Iran burns.
Obama sure loves his ice cream. And the other day he swatted a fly and tied his own shoe. He’s a big boy. Isn’t he adorable?
Caption contest!
Useless
Obama is kind of a useless ninny. In America, we like our president to stand up for freedom and democracy, but Obama felt like he couldn’t even be bother to make a mildly forceful statement about Iran until people were being shot in the street because he didn’t want to appear “meddlesome.” Of course, with the economy and health care, its full speed ahead on being meddlesome despite that he obviously had no idea what he’s doing.
Yes, by making the wrong statement, Obama might have made things worse. So he kept silent and he’s done nothing. Some call that prudent, I call it being a coward. Just because you can do the wrong thing standing up for what’s right doesn’t mean you should be too afraid to do anything. At least not if you’re the leader of the free world.
Award!
House of Payne of House of Payne International has honored IMAO with the “The Mitt Romney Honorary Suspected Arsonist Award – presented to IMAO by House of Payne International” Award.
As much as we at IMAO enjoy playing with fire, we generally discourage the combustion of non-terrorist property. Yes, we know how compulsively entrancing those pretty, pretty flames are, just as we are familiar with the dark and secret longing for the near-erotic thrill of watching the magic embers fly to the heavens as the filthy earth below is cleansed and purified.
That’s why we live in America, where the National Anthem celebrates rockets and bombs, and children are encouraged to play with explosives every summer.
Although I think this year we’ll try setting fire to a pile of over-taxed tea bags. Napalm may smell like victory, but burning tea smells like independence.
NOTE: All caught up – Send! Send! Send!
FINE PRINT:
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For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint
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Now get honoring!
Random Thoughts
The biggest threat to Obama’s popularity seems to be him doing anything more complicated than swatting a fly.
Obama isn’t actively harming the Iranian protestors; how much do we expect from him?
The way Obama got wall to wall coverage of him swatting a fly, it’s a bit like the media are proud parents doting over their newborn.
When wife asked me to do the dishes last night, I refused saying I didn’t want to appear meddlesome.
OW! A neutrino just shot right through me! ow ow ow ow ow
Does La Raza still want California? It might be less trouble for us to just get rid of it at this point.
I will start a new country to support democracy: Democrator. I will be its dictator.
Most of the time I can be okay with an Obama presidency, but sometimes I just can’t take what an unprincipled, ginormous sissy he is.
Has anyone been able to reach the Iranian protesters to let them know whether Obama enjoyed his ice cream?
Why would we want Obama to do something about Iran anyway? We’ve seen what happens when we tries to do something about the economy.
Wouldn’t we be better off if, instead of spending trillions on “stimulus”, Obama just went out for ice cream?
Some presidents like standing strong on issues of right and wrong and some like ice cream. That’s just the way the world is.
Even more than the socialism, I can’t stand America’s leader being such a gigantic sissy.
I guess Obama won’t be completely useless if he one days makes a good cautionary tale.
Why did they put lead into paint? Fear of Superman looking into houses?
Movie Time
Looks like some folks are discovering that it IS possible to make fun of Obama. Can’t wait until Letterman gets the memo.
Speaking of which, I heard that Letterman went to a baseball game, and his teleprompter got knocked up by the JumboTron.
[direct link]
[hat tip: American Digest]
Video actually ends at 2:05, the rest is just a commercial for JibJab e-cards. You can watch that part if you’re interested, but you won’t miss any high-octane entertainment value if you don’t.
Then a little hot dance mix:
[direct link]
[hat tip: Fox Nation]
Not my kind of music, but excellent production values.
Finally, appropo of nothing other than I found it amusing, the World’s Shortest Slasher Movie:
[direct link]
[hat tip: Laughing Wolf]
There may be a moral to this story, but I’ll leave finding it as an exercise for the reader.
Oh, and yes, that commercial is for a real gun store, although it was bought out a couple years ago and is now owned by Impact Guns.
