Archive of entries posted on June 2009

Top Ten Reasons Obama Hasn’t Spoken Out About Iran

Posted by on

10. He hasn’t yet gotten to the “Supporting Democracy” chapter in his The Presidency for Dummies book.

9. He can’t pronounce “Iran.”

8. Iran is Shiite, and Obama can’t remember if that’s the type of Muslim he secretly is.

7. Thought iRan was the accessory for the iPod that keeps track of how many miles you jog.

6. Iran won’t accept a statement from him without preconditions.

5. He asked Joe Biden for advice on the situation, and now he’s more confused that ever.

4. It has absolutely nothing to do with socializing healthcare.

3. Doesn’t want to appear hypocritical when he later abolishes democracy and violently quells protestors.

2. Has hated all Iranians since one corrected him for referring to them as Arabs.

And the number one reason Obama hasn’t spoken out about Iran…

Continue reading ‘Top Ten Reasons Obama Hasn’t Spoken Out About Iran’ »

Fred Thompson Gives Obama His Foreign Policy Performance Review

Posted by on

(Audio clip here)

“The word I keep coming back to is the word “weakness”. It’s the one thing we can’t stand. It’s what they think, it’s what the Russians think of us when we sell out our friends in the Czech Republic and in Poland and pull back on our missile defense. Of all the times in the world, we need our missile defense. We’re cutting back funding for our missile defense, we’re cutting back on those “first-warners” over there in Eastern Europe. Selling them – our allies – out, after they’ve made a commitment to support us, in that regard. It’s an image of weakness, and it’s dangerous.”

Of course, these seven little words from Fred sum it up even better.

[audio:http://www.imao.us/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/ft-just-shut-up-and-do-your-job.mp3]

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

I bet Barbara Boxer would have really freaked out if the general called her “Liz”.

If I’m ever in a hearing, I’m going to call Senator Boxer “Boxey”.

Why didn’t Barbara Boxer object earlier when the general was referring to her as “toots”?

Obama has just announced that the U.S.A. has for the first time made his list of top twenty favorite countries. He loves us back!

Yesterday’s big news: Obama swats fly. Today’s big news: Obama ties own shoe.

Boxer has every right to demand to be called “Senator”, but if you want respect don’t throw a hissy fit.

I’d hate to think of the outburst if Randy Jackson addressed Boxer in a hearing.

Enemies of America: We may one day have a president again who will actually strike back against you, so you watch it!

It’s been so long since NASA has gone to the moon, I wonder if they even remember where it is.

Will Obama Be Fired For This?

Posted by on

Obama said he fired Inspector General Gerald Walpin without 30 days notice because he was so “confused” and “disoriented” that there was reason to question “his capacity to serve.”

Does not knowing left from right count?:

It gives me no joy to play speculative little “what if Obama were a Republican” gotcha-games, but seriously, how many times a day would you be forced to watch this clip if Bush had missed his mark twice in the same press conference?

Capitalist Propaganda: “Five Key Reasons to Reject Class-Warfare Tax Policy”

Posted by on

From 2009, a video from the Center for Freedom and Prosperity titled “Five Key Reasons to Reject Class-Warfare Tax Policy” (hat tip: Wintery Knight Blog)


[YouTube direct link]

Although this piece is very informative, I noticed that it lacks the entertainment quality of the classic propaganda from the 40’s & 50’s. No offense, but if they’re going to make these videos, they should hire a trained actor with a deep, rich, authoritative voice.

You know… like Barack Obama.

Interestingly, at the end of this video, they plug the novel “Atlas Shrugged”, which more and more people are talking about, but nobody really wants to read once they find out that it’s 1200 pages long. That’s a BIG time investment.

If you’re wondering whether it’s worth it, try reading one of the “good parts” – Francisco’s “Money Speech”. If you enjoy reading this, chances are you’ll enjoy the rest of the novel, too.

Here’s a 250-word excerpt, courtesy of Capitalism Magazine. The whole 2500 word speech can be found there.

—

“So you think that money is the root of all evil?” said Francisco d’Anconia. “Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can’t exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

“When you accept money in payment for your effort, you do so only on the conviction that you will exchange it for the product of the effort of others. It is not the moochers or the looters who give value to money. Not an ocean of tears not all the guns in the world can transform those pieces of paper in your wallet into the bread you will need to survive tomorrow. Those pieces of paper, which should have been gold, are a token of honor–your claim upon the energy of the men who produce. Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money, Is this what you consider evil?”

…Read the whole thing at Capitalism Magazine

I’m Going to Be Elitist

Posted by on

I’m thinking IMAO should be more elitist. Still conservative, but just more elitist. Basically, the really popular opinions of much of the base I’ll make fun of as being ignorant. Like Palin. Do we really need the representative of the Republican Party to sound like a hillbilly moron? And illegal immigration. I know they look different from you, but stop freaking out about Mexicans taking your jobs. And government spending. Sometimes the government has to extreme measures such as the stimulus, so don’t just mindlessly shake your corn cob pipe at it because Limbaugh said it was bad. And social issues. I know you think you need to press these issues because your invisible sky fairy said their important, but you’re scaring away voters.

Okay, that was pretty elitist, but how am I still conservative? This is more confusing that I thought.

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

If I were president, I’d replace “Hail to the Chief” with the Super Mario Bros. theme song.

If anyone asks, please tell them I was at your house Saturday night not murdering anyone.

Liberals claim to have better senses of humor, but they never laugh when I make fun of their stupid, ugly faces.

If only Obama applied this “I don’t want to appear meddlesome” philosophy to the economy.

If God made a soda, it would be Mountain Dew. But He doesn’t, so instead Pepsi does and they do a horrible job.

Award!

Posted by on

Justin of Guano Loco has honored IMAO with the “Guano Loco’s Promoter of Common Sense” Award.

Promoting common sense?

Well, flattered, to be sure, but in good conscience I must confess that we’re actually just a bunch of pajama-wearing, basement-dwelling goofballs who take malicious pleasure in mocking the absurd, short-sighted, emotion-laden, reason-deficient ideas of the bleeding-heart left wing in the manner best suited to hurting feelings and making blow-hard, stuffed-shirt, power-hungry, appeasement-mad politicians and their squid-spined supporters pop their collective corks.

But then again, to paraphrase Arthur C. Clarke “Any sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from common sense”.

NOTE: All caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.

FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Obama Needs Encouragement

Posted by on

So Obama is whining about how FOX News is against him, which seems an odd complaint on a day when we find out ABC will turn its news program into an infomercial on his behalf to sell the public healthcare. Also, Bush had to deal with CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, and CNN against him, and he didn’t whine. Then again, you have to remember things are much harder for Obama. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. And not like he can turn to his VP for wisdom. Thus Obama needs constant encouragement for all television channels to keep doing his job.

Maybe we should take some time to offer our own words of encouragement to him.

Obama, I know things have been difficult for you, but so far you haven’t accidentally cut off any of your fingers. That’s a victory right there. And even though you’ve been president for a few month, we haven’t had a nuclear attack. And though 10% unemployment seems like a lot, that is 90% employment which seems like even more. So just buck up and read whatever is on your teleprompter and I’m sure you’ll get through this.

Health Care Questions for Obama

Posted by on

ABC News (you know, the ones who plan to play Pravda for Comrade Obama’s health care scheme on June 24th) says they want to “hear from you about the country’s health care system” and want to know:

What question would you want to ask the president about health care?

As a patriotic American, I shall do my part:

“Just do as I say, and no one gets hurt. Except doctors, insurance companies, and sick people.”

* For $1 trillion, you’ll be insuring 17 million people. Could you just cut me a check for $60,000 and we’ll call it even?

* Can I still choose my own doctor even if he gets disgusted with your system and quits practicing medicine?

* Under the new system, will priority treatment be given to patients who voted for you, or only the ones who contributed to your campaign?

* Will the new system cover back injuries sustained while bowing to you?

* If this legislation passes, will Rahm Emanuel finally be able to get some treatment for his Tourrette’s?

* Is there a provision in this bill to stop those creepy Levitra commercials that show grandparents making out?

* Can you send me a list of diseases that medical marijuana treats? I need to catch one of them before my trial.

* Is it true that the only doctor who was consulted on this legislation was Dr. Nick Riviera of the Hollywood Upstairs School of Medicology?

* Will your health care plan cover treatment for being beaten up by Black Panthers while attempting to vote?

* If I miss work due to illness, will you write me a note?

What would YOU ask His Oneness?