Democrats are dropping out left and right instead of being trounced in November. That’s because polls are showing that pretty much all the Democrats are doing poorly against an unnamed Republican opponent. But could we actually run an unnamed Republican? The candidate would be this guy in a suit and Mexican wrestler mask who talks of nothing but cutting taxes and cutting spending, but no one would know who he is because he’s the UNNAMED REPUBLICAN. Let’s just hope he doesn’t have a scandal where he robs a bank, because anytime I wear a mask for a long time I start to think of how I could rob a bank.
Or maybe a plain paper bag with the eyes and mouth-holes cut out… then we can compare him to the Unknown from the ’70s
Great, now I want to change my user name to Nacho Conservador.
Actually a bank robber should fit in quite well and would feel right at home in the Senate.
Bantha, if Frank wears a plain paper bag he’ll look like a Washington Redskins fan.
If we’re going to have an unnamed Republican, let’s make it Fred Thompson’s insane ax-murdering half-brother, Red Thompson.
Or Darth Cheney
A masked wrestler used to acting with staged fights, pigs, and mud might be the best Pre-senate experience you could get.
From David Brooks recent column about the Tea Party-Look at GOP numbers.
“The movement is especially popular among independents. The Rasmussen organization asked independent voters whom they would support in a generic election between a Democrat, a Republican and a tea party candidate. The tea party candidate won, with 33 percent of independents. Undecided came in second with 30 percent. The Democrats came in third with 25 percent and the Republicans fourth with 12 percent.”
America has turned against the democrats but they still dont like republicans. It hasn’t been long enough. We on the right are still paying the price for letting Bush use the term “Compassionate Conservative” instead of its honest name “Big-government liberal Republican from Connecticut who wears a cowboy hat.” In the future lets leave the foggy Utopian dreams to the left. Remember how Bush and Rove were going to push amnesty and that big medicare drug giveaway to create a permanent GOP majority? We got stuck with the bill and none of the votes. That will be the only funny part about liberals pushing amensty its not going to help them win many elections but it will bankrupt their welfare state. LOL
Frank, this is simply brilliant.
Whenever the democrats realize people don’t like something, they just change the name, global warming=climate change, health care reform=insurance-reform, terrorist=extremist, Barack=Barry etc so why don’t the republicans just change their name? liberal hating war mongers has a nice ring
Actually, the unnamed Republican is the role played Clint Eastwood in the “Fist Full of Dollars” and other classics.
I don’t think it’s nice, you laugh’n. Now apologize to my ass.
This could have merit. Do you think Fred is willing to be cloned?
“The Unnamed Republican” cutting taxes and punching hippies. This is the best idea I’ve heard all day, absolutely brilliant.
I have a Netflix DVD of A Fistful Of Dollars sitting next to my TV right now. Must…..watch…..death……
Bantha beat me to the punch. That was the first thing I thought of.
“They” (who will go unnamed) say “Joe Scarborough” is our man.
I look great in a mask and I hardly ever rob banks when wearing it.
Well, usually never.
Okay.
Nevermind.
well, if we can’t get him on the ballot, let’s at least do a write in campaign
Balladeer: LYRICS TO “THE MAN IN THE MASK/BALLAD OF THE UNNAMED REPUBLICAN”
[FIRST VERSE]
Balladeer: The legend started simply, just a boy without a home; taken in by Republicans, but still pretty much alone. He had to struggle with strange customs, and his own fears from within. He learned the wisdom of the political jungle; he learned the ways to win.
[FIRST CHORUS]
Balladeer: The legends tell of men who died to open up the West. They rode through Hell to find their Promised Land. The legends tell of one Republican who tried to fight for all the rest; his name unknown, a stranger alone, The Man In The Mask… The legends tell of One Brave Republican who rode to meet the test; his name unknown, a stranger alone, The Man In The Mask.
[SECOND VERSE]
Balladeer: Washington DC was a town in trouble, a town with a gun in its back; plagued by stupidity that just wouldn’t stop, and cursed with a Democrat. So you’d think the voters would be suspicious, but certain folks they rarely are. They’re willing to trust their law to just about any Democrat they thinks’ a star.
[THIRD VERSE]
Balladeer: Barak Obama lived undisturbed, waging his private war. And men who made mistakes were simply men he could not afford. Some say he was a monster, and others called him mad. Let’s just say Barak Obama was everything that’s bad.
[FOURTH VERSE]
Balladeer: One thing about that Barak, he knew how to set a trap. And he finished off the Republicans that day in Bryant’s Gap. And Biden had to check them all ’till Barak was satisfied. Dead Republicans lying everywhere, and bloody brothers side by side.
[FIFTH VERSE]
Balladeer: And Newt recognized Fred Thompson by the amulet he wore. Fred had once saved Newt’s life, so this evened up the score. Newt had to hide his friend and keep him out of town; ’cause if Barak had known that one Republican lived, he was sure to hunt him down.
[SIXTH VERSE]
Balladeer: What is it that brings two friends together, or sends the waves to the sand? And what is it that drives a creature of nature to reach out to the world of Man? Just such a creature was this Great White Horse, as wise and as wild as a runaway. And the moment Fred first laid eyes on it, he swore he’d ride it someday.
[SEVENTH VERSE]
Balladeer: Now Fred Thompson was just a memory; the Masked Man had taken his place. But that didn’t mean his heart wasn’t touched when he saw Sarah Palin’s face. Sarah had stayed to do her party’s work and to keep it’s dreams alive. But unless the Masked Man could beat Barak, true justice would never survive.
[EIGHTH VERSE]
Balladeer: I don’t guess anyone stopped to ask what Newt was guilty of. That didn’t stop the Democrats from wanting to see him swinging high above. But Newt showed no sign of fear, and he held on to a fervent hope… that the Masked Man wouldn’t let his blood brother hang from the end of a rope.
[NINTH VERSE]
Balladeer: Those Democrats had been working real hard, going over each step of their plan. Meanwhile, ol’ Barak was mighty disturbed by reports of a strange Masked Man. But he wouldn’t let rumors mess up his scheme, so he set out on his final campaign. He and the Democrats rode to their rendezvous on the Presidential private plane.
[TENTH VERSE]
Balladeer: So Barak had pulled it off, vanished without firing a shot. The Masked Man and Newt had to move fast, and ride while his trail was still hot. They didn’t know what he intended to do, but the American way of life was at stake. Perhaps Barak would destroy it; perhaps Barak would kill it; they just couldn’t take that chance.
[SECOND CHORUS]
Balladeer: A fiery horse across the plains and he was gone from sight. He changed the course of history as he rode. And folks would tell of one Unnamed Republican turning wrong to right. They wondered who, but they never knew… The Man In The Mask was Fred all right.
If anyone out there wants to sue me for plagiarizing the Ballad of the Lone Ranger go ahead, but remember I’m a married middle class taxpayer which means….I’m broke.
Why not? The Femocrats ran an “Unknown Democrat” in 2008 and won.
The reason for the unamed “R”epublican is simple:
The r’s keep talking that they need to avoid a civil war, but then they defend graham, collins, snow, and mccain.
The r’s are aware that “moderates are losers and people will elect leftist democommies before moderate republicans, because the moderates are stupid, weak, and just like the democommies.
The American people’s sense of self renewal will prevent them from electing a commie in more than 1 election.
hurry reid, nancy pelousy, present hussein, and the other idiot democommies in congress have so pissed off the people, that they would lose to an ameoba, or even ron paul.
“Watcha gonna do when the taxpayers run wild over you, brother!”
A Lone Masked Republican in the senate or house sounds great. Steely eyes, two big Colt single actions, two fisted hippie puinching. Just keep Barney Frank away from those silver bullets. Gives “Hiyo Silver Away!!!” a whole new meaning.
I’m pretty sure this just described the perfect politician. I’d vote for this guy. Hell, I’d pull an ACORN and vote for him like 10 times.
Also, I’m pretty sure he’d enter every debate to Hulk Hogan’s original theme song.
Well, a democrat nobody knew anything about was just elected president. I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.
The mental image is hilarious.
must…open…photoshop…
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