I recently put up some action movie lines I thought of myself, and iOwnTheWorld.com was inspired by them to make a contest for coming up with some political action move lines and asked me to pick the winner.
The IMAO readers are probably wondering why I didn’t tell them about the contest. Well, maybe I was just thinking that unleashing the cleverness of IMAO readers on it would be unfair. Or maybe I didn’t know about it. You can pick one of those–whichever makes you feel better.
Anywho, let’s get to the winner. First, here’s a runner up, who wins… HIGH PRAISE!
From Javelina Bomb:
“The science is settled, you’re dead.”
And the winner of the contest, who gets a guest post at iOwnTheWorld.com, is cfm990 who wrote:
I hope you got your free health care, cause son, you’re gonna need it.
Congratulations to the winner! And dishonor and shame to the non-winners!
I just treaded on your face!
The buck stops here! And by buck I mean my fist and by here I mean your face!
Marko, with comments like that, Frank’s gonna ban you.
Just pretend he’s a hippie and punch away!
Hey! Maybe Frank IS a hippie. Hmmmm.
Government doesn’t solve the problem. Government IS the problem. What am I going to do to you, government?
You didn’t jave sex with that woman. And I’m not about to give you a hippie face puinch.
Give me liberty or I’ll give you death.
Frannk didn’t tell us about the contest becasue he was too busy selling t-shirts.
Jimmy, I’m ignorant. Do they have hippies in Idaho? I always believed that Frank was either a Mormon or a Ron Paul supporter.
I always thought Frank was an engineer sidelining as ussjimmycarter.
The time for talk is over, the time for hot lead has begun.
Blam! You’ve been impeached!
MarkoMancuso: Frank is a transplant. And, Yes there are hippies in ID. They’re called “Granolas” or “Greenies”. Most live in Boise and go to community colleges, or they major in “registration” at BSU. However most are fairly mainstream and don’t cause many problems. Mostly because ID is a concealed carry state. An armed society tends to be a polite society. Those ill-equipped to start an argument are usually best served by not entering the ring.
Wisconsin, on the other hand…dear, Lord…
God, I miss Idaho.
Just out of curiosity what exactly is a ‘political action’ movie?
So, now you judge contestants? Like Perez Hilton?
I had no clue as to what a political action movie was, so I quoted from General Patton. Had I known what a political action movie was, I still would have quoted from General Patton.
“Say hello to my Veto Pen!” (ok, I stole that idea from the Fred Thompson facts, but I still like it.)
“I’ve come to chew bubble gum and transform this nation into a socialist dystopia, and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
“You call that a bribe? I’ve taken dumps bigger than that. Even when I wasn’t constipated.”
“I love the sound of crying hippies in the morning. Sounds like victory.”
I expect he wouldn’t be quite like Hilton: “Miss Nebraska, do you support Barack Obama or are you an American?”
Sherman would be good too, Cilla.
If they don’t vote for me, I will make Georgia howl.
After getting stomped on by godzilla, king kong, etc. –“That’s one helluva carbon footprint”
About to shoot bad guy in the face–“Let me be clear. NO! on second thought, let you be dead”
Bad guy about to be killed by rogue drill press–“Drill, baby, drill!!!”
When beating up two bad guys at once–“Now I want to make sure you get your FAIR SHARE”
When about to rip into enemy bad guys at secret compound with machine gun–“Obama can spread the wealth around. I’M SPREADIN’ MISERY (OR BULLETS) Aaaaaahhh!!!”
About to go apeshit on bad guys–“Stick around. You’re about to see a real MAN MADE DISASTER!”
About double-cross partner–“I just need to take care of a pre-existing condition. You’re not covered in my new plan. Oh, by the way, you can keep your doctor.”
“Hope you have MEDICARE – part DEAD!”
“I don’t want you punished with a baby. These fists will punish you just fine by themselves.”
“I am only five minutes away from fundamentally transforming your face!”
Said in a deep grizzled voice:
-Know why I like dogs better then liberals? My dog only pooped on the floor when he was young.
-I dont know what materials will be necessary for transistors below the 12nm but I’m pretty sure we should try ground up liberals first.
-Alright dogs can have rights we will give them what we were giving to liberals.
-I am not sure if we are descended from apes so I am going to throw you into this cage of hungry gorillas and see how you get along.
-Know the difference between modern liberals and toilets? The one is only full of S@#$ sometimes.
-We dont need guns we just like solving problems without having to walk all the way over to you first.
-I see carbon coming out of your mouth come here let me help you with that.
-Two hits… Bam! Sorry not sure how the rest goes.
-Rand Paul and Liz Cheney just had a baby and its the rights Obama. I suggest you die before it learns to walk.
-I always wondered what happened to all those traitors who sided with the British now we just call you blue states.
-I brought a gun and a salt shaker cuz I know your afraid of both.
-You know that money you spent decorating and traveling… I bought guns with my money.
-I pick my enemies like I pick my nose, you are funny color and too close to my face.
If I may paraphrase myself from last go around on these:
-Its time to hear what the second amendment has to say.
Hope and change? I’ll hope to change your face !
This is a big effin deal !!! Meet my fist, named effin deal.
I;ll beat you so bad you’ll want a bucket on your head.
Side note, the one about the booger was too funny not to include. I have never been neighbors, worked with, or gone to church with an American black, African Black, South American, India, Mongolian, Aboriginal, Inuit, Klinket, Hopi etc.. that I did not like immensely and would happily trade 4 American Liberals for them to have American citizenship.
Non-retired people of any group you typically see on TV and on the streets during the day they are a different story.
*BOOM!* “Oh, I’m sorry! Did I break your concentration?”
That should be the best line in a political action movie for dealing with liberals. And it comes with this nifty wallet…
I respectfully decline to answer that question based upon my constitutional rights as guaranteed to me by the 2nd Amendment of the United States Constitution.
Wait. It’s rigged, I tell ya! How much did cfm pay you? Come on!
Okay, I’m done with my Just Call Me Lennie impersonation. Good job and no I don’t mean the kind of job that clinton gets!
Amendment .45: Reaching across the isle at 830 FPS.
My fellow Americans, I have just passed legislation outlawing liberals forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
Ma Deuce, that will send a REAL tingle up your leg.
RASPY VOICED HERO: “Whut the hell you supposed to be?”
(GUY IN REDSHIRT)”Im a “Progressive Democrat”
BANG BANG BANG…… “So much for “progress.”
I thought all the movies made today were “political activist movies”