Today is Barack Obama’s birthday. At least that’s what people are saying. Without a birth certificate, it’s hard to know for sure. I blame the poor state of health care in Kenya in 1961.
Anyway, since he’s up and walking around, we’ll assume he does have a birthday, okay? I don’t think he’s a robot. Or a space alien. Although either of those would explain a lot.
No, I think he’s a human. Or close enough, anyway. And, sure, I’ll go along with today being his birthday.
Which means … PARTY! Because everyone from Georgia is all about the party, right?
So, how do we celebrate Barack Obama’s birthday?
I have some ideas:
- Find an Arab king and bow to him.
- Go on vacation. But not to the Gulf.
- Blame Bush for any gray hairs I find.
- Spend a trillion dollars. After all, it’s also Wednesday!
- Order the most expensive item on the menu, then, if they bring me a bill, tell the waitress she’s racist.
- If she’s White, tell her she’s racist anyway.
- Call Larry Sinclair, just for old time’s sake.
- Tax the rich.
- Tax the poor.
- Blame Bush for taxes going up.
- Tell everyone on teh Twitters how awesome I am.
Those are my ideas. You have any suggestions?
Blame 71% of the population of Missouri for his HealthCare bill being lousy
the link has the ‘http://’ twice, so it’s not working…
So, how do we celebrate Barack Obama’s birthday?
well the Leftists (also known as Liberals) could 1. dance around the Asherah Pole, 2. give sacrifices to Baal and Moloch 3. and give thank Karl Marx
the Rightists and Christians can PRAY and ask for forgiveness. That is the only thing we can do. PRAY
Sunni Muslims don’t celebrate their birthdays or Christmas. Christians do. The Obamas don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas. Is this really still puzzling to anyone?
[So that’s why he’s in Chicago and M’chel is overseas! – B.]
Find an Arab king and bow to him.
Don’t forget, you have to do it faux-Asian style, or it won’t work.
Borrow testicles from Michelle for a night on the town with Rahm, the tiny dancer!!
Let’s help him go green. We should replace the presidential motor fleet with heavily armored Chevy Volts.
» Organize your community
» Tell a cop he’s acting stupidly
» Waffles for everyone!
What do you get the guy who feels he deserves everything? Well, you get him things he never knew he needed:
– An iPod with IMAO podcasts on it
– An autographed picture of me and my dog
– A bust of Adam Smith
– A collection of the best war movies of all time, including Patton, The Great Dictator, The Green Berets, The Sands of Iwo Jima, The Longest Day, Go Tell the Spartans, The Dirty Dozen, The Big Red One, Apocalypse Now, The Alamo, Bataan, Back to Bataan, Run Silent Run Deep, The Caine Mutiny, 30 Seconds over Tokyo, The Patriot, Heartbreak Ridge, Red Dawn, Pork Chop Hill, The Story of GI Joe, and…George Bush: His World War II Years.
– A pair of miniature toy Marine One Helicopters for the girls so they don’t feel left out.
[An iPod?? That is SO March 2010. He gets an iPad, of course. – B.]
Helen Thomas jumping out of his birthday cake wearing pasties with booby tassels.
– Have some bitter clinger state vote down your legacy (thanks Missouri)
– Throw another black Democrat Congressman on the bondfire of ethics charges (racist?)
– Plug the damn hole (he’s played enough gulf already)
– Let Biden off the leash
– Search the internets to find out what comes after trillion
– Amnesty for anyone who brings him tequila
Let Sasquatch remove the human mask for teh night.
Do the kenyan “gots me white girl to births me a son while wife was in france” dance
Raise taxes
Raise taxes again
Drink beer with stupidly acting whitey and raise taxes
Carolyn, that was truly, truly disgusting.
* Go on The View and bask in a heartfelt serenade from the hosts.
* Privately snark that they were pitchy, and that the four-part harmony in the bridge was way off.
* Pose for more iconic pictures.
* Fire up a spliff, write it off as a medical expense on our taxes.
* Get a whole bucket of awesome presets and stick head in – the best ones are always on the bottom!
What BurmaShave said…in spades!
Crappy birthday to you, crappy birthday to you,…
I won’t believe Obama has a birthday until I see conclusive proof! Show us the belly-button!
Until I see a belly-button I will maintain my omphaloskepticism and believe that he’s an alien-cyborg-Kenyan-clone.
Burma and Cat…. I almost wondered if it would get moderated. It probably should have. I have to admit, that image could be put in a Cialis commercial: “In the event of an erection lasting 4 or more hours, please envision….” you know the rest.
Carolyn, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Does anybody have a rusty spork that I can gouge my eyes out with?
1) Order Cajones at that new Mexican Restaurant down the street.
2) Flap our ears, in honor of The Jug Eared Wun.
3) Join a platoon of Proofers in search of O-bah-muhh’s ‘real’ birth certificate.
4) Stick it to the Man. Or stick pins in your O-bah-muhh Action Figure.
5) Go John Galt.
6) Buy another firearm.
7) Read O-bah-muhh’s poll numbers.
8) Polish your Nobel Peace Prize(What, doesn’t everyone have one?)
9) Count the days ’til Nov 2
10) Read IMAO archives on O-ba-muhh.