Random Thoughts

I hear at bookstores now they’re going to put a warning label on the Koran saying, “DO NOT BURN.”

So we can’t burn or flush a Koran without everyone freaking out. What exactly are we supposed to do with it, then?

If enough Korans are burned, Allah’s shield will become weakened leaving him exposed to super-missile attacks.

I think parenthood will suit me well; I’ve been very boring for a long time now.

Now I understand why some Muslims hate the US military: When we bomb countries in the Middle East, sometimes we harm Korans.

It doesn’t matter if the fate of Republicans/Conservatism is at stake; I’m not going to start caring about Delaware.

I’m going to protest homelessness by setting a hobo on fire.

Watched The Wicker Man with RiffTrax. Despite protestations to the contrary, there were bees.

I am just unable to care one way or another about the GOP primary in Delaware. Makes me feel like a political sociopath.

20 Comments

  1. So we can’t burn or flush a Koran without everyone freaking out. What exactly are we supposed to do with it, then?

    Throw it in the trash.

    Watched The Wicker Man with RiffTrax. Despite protestations to the contrary, there were bees.

    Is there a RiffTrax for Broken Arrow? That film was on AMC last night. I loved every moment. Travolta is a hammy genius. He kills Ethan from 24 by crushing his throat with a pipe. As Ethan gasps for air, Travolta shrieks, “Hush! Hush!” as Howie Long looks on.

  2. Random thought: Broken Arrow has the finest scene in movie history.

    Black guy: “Captain, do you understand the meaning of orders?”
    Slater: “Yes.”
    Black guy: “Good.”
    Black guy: “Because I’m about to break mine!”

  3. Frank, are you pregnant or what? So far we’ve got about a years’ worth of recorded history about your daughter who hasn’t been born yet. So when she’s born she’ll technically be 1 year old and walking. She can vote when she’s 17.

  4. Random thought that will plague me all day:
    If Bounty paper towels are so great that “One towel works again and again”, why would anyone need a Costco pack of 12 rolls?

    Seriously, it’s a conundrum. On a Monday. Not good.

  5. -Go easy on your liberal friends, Obamas crash down to earth while predictable for the rest of us has been as brutal on them as a young starstruck girl invited backstage after a concert while groggy on drugs and alcohol having the greatest moment of her life to a mere few weeks later sitting in the doctors waiting room.

    It is not a time for “I told you so’s” as it is a time to remind them that if they pull that crap again their things will be on the lawn and they can find a new place to live.

  6. -A good chart would be showing the average per year job creation under republicans and average job “creation” under democrats.

    -Job creation is another “creation” leftists dont believe in.

    -I do not support a having call to violence like leftists and their “plate glass window” talk. I am however saying that with their congressional and media behavior since 2006 until now we should t@#$% %%^&^&$ @#$#@ &*^#$% $#%^# @@# %$## *&%$ &*^# &^%$ and sell tickets.

  7. The political diaper changing humor is on the way. I feel a disturbance in the Farce.
    May the Farce be with you.

    Koran burning is oit. Soaking them in water for a few days and using them iole old phone books for ballisitic tests is in.

    There are not enough Korans to sheild Allah from a Fred Thompson Face Punch.

    Dick Cheny needs to arm the rocket-mounted dinosaurs with Koran-seeking-and shredding missiles.

  8. I hear at bookstores now they’re going to put a warning label on the Koran saying, “DO NOT BURN.”

    Actually, the full warning reads, “Do not burn. Do not incinerate. Contents of head may explode if used. Keep away from explosives. Point away from face. Contents under pressure. Close cover before opening. No user serviceable parts inside. Not suitable for children under the age of 99. Not a life saving device. Do not stand above this step. You may lose your balance.”

  9. “I am just unable to care one way or another about the GOP primary in Delaware. Makes me feel like a political sociopath.”

    I was surprised to learn that Delaware was still around. I thought they were out-sourced a few years ago during the recession.

    Always amuses me that those little states up there get two senators each. We have bigger counties in West Texas.

  10. “So we can’t burn or flush a Koran without everyone freaking out. What exactly are we supposed to do with it, then?”

    Burn a Koran? Muslims are outraged.
    Flush a Koran? Muslims are outraged.
    Blue-Light Special on mops at K-Mart? Muslims are outraged.
    Taylor Swift doesn’t win any VMA’s? Muslims are outraged.
    “Grease 2” not available on Blue-Ray? Muslims are outraged.
    Bounty is the quicker picker-upper? Muslims are outraged.
    Five-percent chance of rain? Muslims are outraged.
    Sign posted saying “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin”? Muslims are outraged.
    Vampires sparkle? Muslims are outraged.
    Oprah’s ratings drop? Muslims are outraged.
    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie separate? Muslims are outraged.

    No matter what happens, Muslims are outraged. So, since they’re going to be outraged about something either way, might as well burn and flush some Korans.

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