Whenever a liberal says something ultra-mega-bonus-stupid about budget cuts, like you’re starving old people, or you’re killing women, or you’re bombing civilians, we force them at gunpoint to explain how wasting the oxygen to make those statements helps to balance the budget.
An incorrect answer results in a $5-a-ticket raffle, where the winner gets to punch them in the kidneys until they pee blood.
Proceeds to be applied to paying down the national debt.
Repeat until budget is balanced through either budget-cuts or kidney-pulping.
What say you?
First, can we please get rid of Boehner…
You say punch them until the bleeding starts.
I say beat them with a stick until the bright red bleeding stops.
But, either would get the point across, so I won’t quibble about our differences.
I’m in. Where do I buy my ticket?
Yes.
Sounds like a winner.
They couldn’t squeal any louder than when the GOP threatens to
savagly maul
lower spending to, say,crush indiscriminantly
slash-and-burn
drown in the bathtub
meat cleaver
chainsaw
nuclear blast
silly slap
February of 2011 levels.
I’ll pay $10 for each go.
But only if we can donate a pint or ten, just to keep the flow going.
I favor continuing on past “pulp” until the “goo stage” is reached.
You can put the machine on “blend” (or “puree” depending on the model) but that probably takes too much time.
In somewhat related news, the members of BOBEB Local #1 (The first group founded, n00bs!) here in Pennsylvania scrounged about our
treehouse in Mom’s backyardHouse of the Pro-bacon-letariat and found a treasure trove we will donate to the national debt fixing effort.* $1.57 in change.
* A 50 round pack of .22 shells and about 15 used shotgun shells.
* 5,154 empty Yuengling cans, 449 empty Keystone Lite cans, 833 empty Milwaukee’s Best Light cans, 750 empty Miller Lite cans, 651 empty Bud Lite cans, 101 empty Coors Lite cans, 74 empty Milwaukee’s Best cans, 147 empty Natural Lite cans, and 73 Heineken empty cans.
* A Piper Cub in full working condition.
* 34 thirty-aught-six rifles, 14 three-oh-eight rifles, 17 shotguns of various gauges, a Mosin-Nagant, and 45 pistols of various sizes.
* The body from a 1973 Chevrolet Camaro. Just the body. It’s all rusted to hell, sad to say.
* A lawn mower engine.
This is the most common sense post I’ve read all year.
Just the sale of raffle tickets might pay off the debt.
Five dollar raffle tickets? I’ll empty my change jar for that, and get a bunch of them. Except, instead of giving them punches to the kidneys, I’d like to give them muskets to the junk.
It might work better if we include the people that voted them in also.
Assume there are a hundred million liberals hardcore enough to say those sorts of silly, silly things. The national debt is reduced $5 for each one of those hundred million that are ‘processed’ in this manner. As a result, the total reduction of the national debt is half a billion dollars.
If we’re *only* $0.5 B in debt, has everything I’ve read about the economy in the past decade been nothing more than a cruel April Fool’s joke?
(Not to say it’s a bad idea, though. Imagine 100,000,000 fewer votes for liberals in each election–the 2012 races would be a competition to see who could be the farthest to the right! We would totally win the future if that happened.)
I’ve got a $20. I’ll take 4, please.
I think Kidney-Pulp could open for Junk Musket