Racist Reality … Fixed!

Reality is racist. Just so you know.

Recently, the president gave a speech before the Congressional Black Caucus, and, as he is wont to do, he slipped into his “Hey-I’m-Black-Too” dialect. And, the Associated Press reported the actual words he used, as he used them:

Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’.

And, for reporting what happened, the AP was accused of being racist by Karen Hunter on MSNBC:

Hunter called the AP’s version “inherently racist,” sparring with New Republic contributing editor and noted linguistics expert John McWhorter, who argued the g-less version “is actually the correct one,” noting that the president’s victory in the 2008 election was due, in part, to how effortlessly “he can switch into that [black] dialect.”

To follow Hunter’s demands to their conclusion, as Jeff Goldstein put it:

…they are now charged with re-writing history to protect the speaker from himself, lest they be charged with transcribing reality, once considered the most neutral of all activities (at least in intent and aim), an activity that now carries with it the charge of “inherent racism” if the reality being transcribed belongs to blacks, and non-blacks or inauthentic blacks are doing the transcribing.

Presumably, Ms Hunter, if pressed, might have to extend the argument to audio clips that capture the dropping of the g’s — themselves a secondhand recording of reality that have not been “corrected” of their “inherent racism.”

So, now that we know that reality is racist and we must protect ourselves from it, we present the video of the president’s actual words, not as said, but as they must be to remove the charge of racism:


[Direct link]

Liberals have been living outside reality for a long, long time. Now, they want us to live outside it, too.

lolterizt! Part 141

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Kris:

From Kris:

[NOTE: only the hats were ‘shopped]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[Original]

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Brian The Adequate:

[reference link]

From Brian The Adequate:

[reference link]

From James:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: More Christie Speculation, Cain-mentum, and Angering the Science Gods

* Chris Christie speculation is in full force again thanks to dissatisfaction with the frontrunners. He’s pretty liberal on a number of issues, but he’s full force on cutting spending which is the big issue of the day and maybe all that matters to primary voters. Plus, he’ll probably be too busy stuffing his face with fistfuls of bacon to pursue a liberal agenda (he’s fat).

Of course, Christie keeps denying he’s getting into the race. In fact, his exact words were, “I am absolutely against running for president, and are you going to eat that?” But despite all the denials, people keep speculating because they want a strong candidate to believe in. And despite the fact that the waiter had just set down my steak dinner in front of me so it was pretty obvious I was going to eat that, Christie grabbed my rib eye right off my plate.

* New Zogby poll says that Herman Cain is now the frontrunner with 28% of the vote to Perry’s 18% and Romney’s 17%. The only thing: It’s a Zogby poll. Still, I want to believe.

* Herman Cain is claiming he can win at least a third of the black vote. Wouldn’t that basically be the end of the Democrat Party? Whites are leaving them in droves, so they can’t lose minorities too. If that starts to happen, expect to see desperation like we’ve never seen before from the left (and we pretty much see nothing but desperation from them all the time). If Herman Cain is our nominee, expect to see for real all that racism the left only imagined Obama had received.

* Obama said of Perry, “You’ve got a governor whose state is on fire denying climate change.” Is that how it works now? If you don’t accept global warming, you anger the gods of science and they turn their wrath on you and set your land on fire? I guess I don’t understand because I’m not “pro-science” enough. Or superstitious.

* Luckily the science gods don’t care about selling guns to Mexican drug cartels or Obama might get the country set on fire. It ends up the government used tax payer money to buy guns to then sell to the Sinaloa cartel. To know how big a scandal this is, we should at least first know whether the government made a profit. I mean, supplying cartels with guns used in hundreds of murders is bad, but we do have a huge deficit and maybe this is the only place Obama is actually helping us in the budget.

* At a townhall, a millionaire (who just happened to get called on!) stood up and asked Obama to raise his taxes. I guess the government hasn’t publicized enough that there is an address you can send a check to if you feel like the federal government should have more of your money. Of course, these people never do that because they innately understand how idiotic it is to actually choose to waste their own money like that. You might as well just burn the money because then you’d at least know you got light and heat out of the deal.

With these people, it’s not about their money — they only feel good wasting other people’s money. Now there’s a greedy rich person.

* When CERN said they broke the speed of light, they didn’t break it by much. They had a distance that would take light 2.4 thousandths of a second to travel, and the neutrino took 60 billionths of second less time to go that distance. How do they measure something to that degree? I assume they have some sort of digital stopwatch instead of just one with a second hand.

Random Thoughts

I do club baby seals, but not enough to kill them.

Another change in the Star Wars Blu-ray: At the end of The Empire Strikes Back, Luke demands to see the birth certificate.

With ebooks, will we need an updated Farenheit 451 where the title is the amount of magnetism to ruin hard drives?