Archive of entries posted on 20th September 2011

lolbama! Part 72

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This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From James:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

[ref 1, ref 2]

From me (Harvey)

[reference link]

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Brian The Adequate:

From Dawnsblood:

From James:

From jb:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link (NSFW)]

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Steve:

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This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

UPDATE – After due consideration, I’ve decided that I won’t accept captions on the Medal of Honor picture. I wouldn’t accept a caption on a picture of Obama saluting returning coffins, and this falls into that category, since – as was pointed out in the comments – Sgt. Meyers had no choice about being in this picture.

My apologies for not thinking this through beforehand.

Alternative photo:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: Helping the Economy with MASSIVE TAX INCREASES!

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* Guess who has a column in the New York Post today?

No, Guess again.

Yes; it’s me! You’re getting better at this. So everyone go read it and then like it on Facebook or tweet it or what not. Just tell everyone about it. Go stand on the side of the street shouting, “Frank J. Fleming is good fun writer number one!” The rest of Nuke the News will wait until you’re done.

* Hey, know what this economy teetering on the verge of a recession needs? A MASSIVE TAX INCREASE. Yes, Obama is proposing $1.5 trillion in new taxes. And who thinks a MASSIVE TAX INCREASE is a great idea in a failing economy? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!

Still, I’d like to see him sell this to the Republicans.

OBAMA: “I’m just going to increase spending while raising taxes on the rich. It’s a plan that comes straight from one of the Republican greats: HERBERT HOOVER.”

Many people think Obama doesn’t expect any of this to pass as it’s just political maneuvering for 2012, and I hope so. This isn’t just economic suicide, it’s like a really nasty suicide where you stab yourself repeatedly in the stomach.

* Obama assures us his taking money away from job creators and giving it to the money wasters in D.C. isn’t “class warfare — it’s math.” Well here’s some more math:

Bad economic situation + Obama = EVEN WORSE ECONOMIC SITUATION!

Current conditions + Massive new taxes = JUST SHOOT US!

Economy – Obama = BIGGEST ECONOMIC RECOVERY EVER!

* Why are all the projections for these things over ten years?

POLITICIANS: “We’ll cut a trillion dollars…”

US: “Yay!”

POLITICIANS: “…over ten years.”

US: “Meh.”

Who else talks like that? “Come work for me and I’ll pay you $400,000… over ten years.”

* It’s not all bad news in this country for President Obama: Violent crime is down for the fourth year in a row.

I can’t think of anything Obama’s done where he can attempt to take credit for that, but, hey, small things.

I thought the left was always saying that poverty causes crime and terrorism? So shouldn’t the bad economy have led to more violent crime?

Sometimes I wonder when the left are talking about other people, they’re really talking about themselves. So when they say poverty causes crime, the liberal means that if he lost his job, he’d become a violent criminal. That’s why we really need to keep an eye on the left.

* Obama supports the post office stopping mail delivery on Saturday. Frankly, they could just deliver mail once or twice a week and that would be fine. As long as Amazon sends my stuff through UPS and I have FedEx for things that I actually need delivered quickly, there’s nothing that comes through regular mail that I’d be waiting day to day for. Let’s just move to get rid of the stupid government monopoly. And with less mail delivery, won’t we use less paper and gas which will help that thing people like. You know, that green thing. What was it? The environment. Get rid of government and help environment.

* Apparently gamers solved a problem about the AIDS virus. Yep, to fight disease, they put video game players to work. So next time SarahK see me playing on my iPad and demands to know what I’m doing, I’ll just say, “I’m only learning how to cure diseases! …and killing green pigs.”

* Wisdom of the Day: “Qwikster sounds like an internet company made up by the oldest writer on staff for a Law & Order episode in 2002.” –Sean Thomason

* Someone sent this to me, and I don’t know what it is but it’s kind of funny:

Random Thoughts

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Qwikster: So devoted to speed, we only spent ten seconds coming up with our name.

The only rich people who should be held accountable for this mess are the politicians in D.C.

Buttercup loves to dance, and she dances like one of those Night at the Roxbury guys.

The economy has been bad for a while. Has anyone tried whining about it?

I bet Blu-ray sales will plummet from bad publicity if space aliens attack us with blue death rays.

Google News has given me a gold badge in reading articles about video games.

I write for a major newspaper. I’m a big boy.

Netflix

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Remember the whole Netflix price increase of a couple of months back?

Sure, you remember.

Well, okay, it wasn’t actually so much a price increase as it was a cessation of a discounted bundle. Which made prices go up. Which is a price increase. So, yeah, it was a price increase.

Netflix was offering 1 DVD a month at a time per month (usually around 8 a month if you watch it an return it next day) for $8 (actually, $7.99, but that might as well be $8; we’ll round up to the dollar from here on out). As I was saying, 1 DVD a month at a time per month for $8. They also had unlimited streaming for $8 a month.

And they still do.

Here’s what changed: If you had a combined service — 1 DVD a month plus unlimited streaming — it was $10 a month. That’s what went away. Everything is separate now. They stopped the combined package for a discounted rate. And, that ticked off a lot of people. Including me.

Now, it seems that there will be no more Netflix DVDs. Instead, they’re changing the DVD service to Qwikster. Netflix will remain streaming movies. Flicks. Or “flix” if you will. On the ‘Net. Netflix will actually be Net flix.

About that whole mess where everybody got mad at Netflix? The founder of Netflix, Reed Hastings, wrote a blog post about it, apologizing, and explaining the separation of services into two different companies.

How’s that going over? Not too good. At least, based on the thousands and thousands of comments left to his blog post.

How’s business?

Netflix itself has estimated that its customer base is declining by about 1 million people during the current quarter, which ends Sept. 30.

I haven’t seen this much blowback on screwing up business since … New Coke. Or Obama.

How Netflix handles it will be interesting. Will they do like Coke did and bring back the Classic formula that made them a success?

Or will they give another speech.

I’m betting on the latter.

Now, the question is, which is out of work first, Netlfix or Obama?

And does this make Rick Perry Hulu?