* The Michigan and Arizona primaries are tomorrow, and then we’ll find out if Romney still has a threat from the last not-Romney standing. And then next Tuesday is Super Tuesday, and maybe things will be sewn up then. I kind of just want this primary over so we all can just focus on how bad Obama is instead of Republican infighting. Everyone already knows how bad Republicans are; we need to focus on people comprehending how bad Obama is. It’s kind of like with the debt: It’s so large it’s difficult to grasp. That’s how bad a president Obama is.
* But Obama won’t take this competition lying down. He’s unveiled a new slogan: Greater together. And it’s quite true as Obama is very useless by himself and thus much greater when paired with other people. Of course, while helping himself, he tends to diminish us. Kind of like a parasite. Maybe that could be the emblem of his campaign: A tick.
Which would lead to another great campaign slogan: “Spoooon!”
* Will Obama be able to compete with Romney’s ability to relate to the common man, though? In showing he was just like any other redneck who enjoys NASCAR, Romney said that he’s friends with people who own NASCAR teams. And then he said, “I appreciate McDonald’s too; I once had a lobster dinner with the CEO of McDonald’s.” And then he added, “And Wal-Mart is a great store. I haven’t shopped there, but I did shop for a yacht with the owner of Wal-Mart.” And then he had a money fight with the locals, which he always wins since he tends to be the only one with large wads of money ready to throw.
* The creator of the famous Obama “HOPE” poster has pleaded guilty to contempt. Hey, remember back in 2008 people thought Obama was going to be this transformational president? He sort of lost a lot of his mystique when he actually became president and really sucked at it. But at least we’re having progress now that his mindless supporters are being arrested and put on trial. A few million more to go.
* Richard Dawkins says he can’t be sure God doesn’t exist. Well, you know what I do when I’m not sure about something? I go on a big crusade about it and write a bunch of books on the subject. No, wait, that sounds more like what someone with a mental disorder would do. That’s one of the crazy things about lots of atheists: They’re whole movement is supposed to be about being logical and reasonable, yet they tend to rail against religion is a very mindless way that doesn’t seem to serve any more purpose than a tantrum. Perhaps I just don’t understand their strong faith in not having faith.
* Wisdom of the Day from Tony Hernandez:
Contrary to what girls say, they LOVE watching guys play video games
I don’t give a rat’s patootie how rich the president is, as long as he didn’t make it out of government money, marrying it, stealing it, or writing books about how wonderful he is. Someone who actually made it in business is okay with me.
“Greater Together?” Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups should sue.
Rejected Obama slogans:
Fer schnizzel!
Look! Something shiney!
Yes we can hope to win the greater future together by changing!
Other randomly rejected Obama slogans:
“The Change is in your pocket.”
“I’m sorry. You’re sorry. We’re all sorry.”
“It’s halftime in the Apocalypse.”
“16 vacations in 3 years. Hey, don’t make me live with this woman full time.”
God is real…it’s Richard Dawkins that’s imaginary.
Romney’s just an average Joe. On the weekend he likes to hang out with some of his buddies that own companies that are parent companies of other companies that manufacture hunting and fishing supplies.
“And it’s quite true as Obama is very useless by himself and thus much greater when paired with other people.”
Not necessarily. While it is true Obma is generally regarded as a zero, when you add to him, say, Janet Napolitano (-3) or Erik Holder (-5) he is actually less.
@DamnCat: that explains why the MFM considers him a uniter, because everyone knows you can’t divide by a zero.
@zzyzx, that’s what I tell these people when I read their articles about whether God exists or not. You do not have to wrry about that, you should however be concerned whether He beleives you exist. This also drives me nuts when all the hollyweird people who poo poo about religion always pack into church when one of their own dies and act all spiritual.
I always thought Richard Dawkins was the best host of Family Fued ever.
In case there was any doubt that liberalism is a severe mental disorder:
Ben & Jerry’s apologizes for unfortunate Linsanity ingredient
What ever happened to “apologizing” when you actually do something wrong?
I guess they’re protecting the identity of the person who was offennnnnded until he files his lawsuit.
grrrrr
Ben & Jerry’s apologizes for unfortunate Linsanity ingredient.
Last time a tick crawled up my leg, I promptly swatted it away in a very girly terror-stricken panic attack (What can I say – I hate creepy bugs), found it when it landed, hit it with a hammer, and flushed it down the toilet.
If only Americans had been so smart as to stop Obama before he crawled up our economy’s leg.
When choosing a political slogan, it is good to consider what has worked really well in the past:
Me Ne Frego!
Translated, it means, “I Don’t Give a Damn!” It might not seem intuitive, but it helped Mussolini get elected for life.
Hey guys – Dawkins won’t admit it, but his statement is just another way of saying he is beginning to have doubts.
About his doubts.
I say Obama ought to bring Clint back for another round:
“This country can’t be knocked out with one punch. So give Obama another shot at it!”
Burmashave! Who are you calling a Frego? RAAACCCIIISSTT
Why not recycle Carter’s slogan “A Leader for a Change” man I wet myself when I think about that one
“Go get Cousin Pookie” – Obama slogan for getting out the south black vote.
Oh…. is that racist? Because I’m actually quoting him directly and in context.
“Greater Together” is BRILLIANT. For example: Did you know that Barack Obama and Joe Montana hold the record for most superbowl MVP awards by any US President/NFL Quarterback combination in HISTORY?
Obama…cause you shouldn’t cross streams while on a horse…no wait…you can lead a horse to a stream, but you can’t change….no…hang on….um…screw it – vote for me or RACIST!!!!”
He should go with the slogan “Together Forever,” and start a new Rickroll meme. What a scary thought.
Me & Obama = >300 lbs
Me or Obama individually = <300 lbs
Yes, that is greater together.
“SPOOON!” is the greatest slogan in the history of super heroes.
I’m thinking Die Fledermaus is a better hero for Obama to emulate.
There’s a song waiting to be parodied here –
“Greater Together”/”Happy Together” –
Listen you, Mr. Prez to me
No matter how you tax the rich, it still won’t be
A perfect Utopia, why can’t you see
That we’re not Greater Togetherrrrrrrrrrr?
I can’t see me vote for nobody like you
for all my life
I can’t stand to listen at all to you
or your wiiiiiiiiiiiiife
Well it’s a start.
Ha ha ha ha. It’s a superb start, CarolynthePregnant. It’d make a great theme for a commercial. I can see an ad that’d be shot much like the dopey intro to the Courtship of Eddie’s Father except it’d be Obama bonding with some random boy. They’d be shown doing Obama-like togetherness things:
– Obama explaining the Constitution before burning it and laughing
– Biking together with both wearing every conceivable type of protective gear
– Pointing and laughing at congressmen behind their backs
The commercial would close with the two of them walking into the sunset — the boy trying to carry Obama’s oversized golf bag.
Dear Obama,
Gravity is a harsh mistress.
Signed,
The Tick
A new slogan for the current administration: Arbeit macht frei.
Obama 2012
“Shut up!”
Listen Prez
I’m all for green
But not in return for
the new price of gasoline
It costs a million bucks
To drive you see
We’re just not Greater Together….
I can’t see me vote for nobody like you
Not on your life
I’m not for a new nanny state
run by your wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife
(well listen, it’s 1 am and I can’t sleep so that’s the best I’ve got right now)
Romney = Faceplant!!! What a total tool!!! And we are going to nominate this idiot because…wait for it…”it’s his turn”… AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
FrankJ:
Given the fact that you are writing things like this;
“Will Obama be able to compete with Romney’s ability to relate to the common man, though? In showing he was just like any other redneck who enjoys NASCAR, Romney said that he’s friends with people who own NASCAR teams. And then he said, “I appreciate McDonald’s too; I once had a lobster dinner with the CEO of McDonald’s.” And then he added, “And Wal-Mart is a great store. I haven’t shopped there, but I did shop for a yacht with the owner of Wal-Mart.” And then he had a money fight with the locals, which he always wins since he tends to be the only one with large wads of money ready to throw.”
And ussjimmycarter is writing things like this:
“Romney = Faceplant!!! What a total tool!!! And we are going to nominate this idiot because…wait for it…”it’s his turn”… AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
I really think it makes sense for you to just quit on this election. Really, 2016 is only 4 years away.
Best Regards,
Monkey Faced Liberal
!
P.S. I thought of you today! I was reading the article “2012 or Never,” where Jonathan Chait described today’s Republican party “as a party of anti-government fundamentalism powered by sublimated white Christian identity politics.” And I thought — that sounds exactly like FrankJ! Have you two met?
http://nymag.com/news/features/gop-primary-chait-2012-3/
You know, Frank J., in a strange way you should be proud of our regular visits from MFL. You haven’t hit the big time until you’ve achieved what Rush calls the “seminar caller” or in this case, the “seminar poster.” True, you’ve only got one, but it’s a start.
zzyzx: Uh-oh, FrankJ. I think MFL here’s taken a liking to you.
MFL: Huh-huh, naw, MFL straight.
“Satire may be mad and anarchic, but it presupposes an admitted superiority in certain things over others; it presupposes a standard.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy