Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
To secure it’s borders; perhaps even the southern one.
…on building a border wall to make Texas its own country.
on “Don’t Mess With Texas” Bumperstickers
on ammo.
…on declaring war on France. Just cause they can.
on beer and brothels… they are cowboys afterall.
…attracting people and businesses from states with higher tax burdens
…roads, bridges, police and fire departments, and education….and be the envy of all the blue states.
…on a new, even bigger “Big Tex” that can be seen from across the country and can point at liberal states and laugh.
Beer…. you can never have too much beer…….
On Billboards in NYC saying, “We can drink all the soda we want – Na Na Na Boo Boo”
…on Mexican catapults… not used for drugs… but for sending Mexicans back home.
on a down payment on a $2 trillion dollar coin… everything’s bigger in Texas.
…developing the next generation of super-duper-extra-scary-ultra-assault-style high-powered self defense weapons of the future.
…by offering it to anyone who successfully punches Obama in the junk.
… building a “world’s biggest surplus” statue.
…on an ad campaign to convince Californians not to come to Texas.
… well, let’s just say “what happens in Ciudad Juarez, STAYS in Ciudad Juarez”.
… on a reward for any Texan who is able to convince Jerry Jones to get rid of Tony Romo.
…on guns and hats.
@13 blarg: “…by offering it to anyone who successfully punches Obama in the junk.”
So… marksmen only?
… on a study to make longhorn cattle have even longer horns.
…barbecue, beer, and long gun ammo.
…Chuck Norris martial arts jeans.
Chuck Norris’ tribute of boots and western hats.
…on educating their residents about the other
fifty-sixforty-nine states. (“Yes, they exist. No, they can’t help they’re not as enlightened…”)…to secede from this cursed nation.
…on a texas sized party to REALLY ” Remember the Alamo”
… on enough pot to get every liberal in Austin stoned long enough so that they can be deported to California.
…suds and scones.
Wait.
…scuds and drones.
…on a new and improved ‘Big Tex’ at the State Fair who will check your cholesterol level for free when you leave. 🙂
…free guns for all Texans – except Democrats.
… on a worldwide PSA campaign to remind people that chili is not chili unless it is made WITH beef and WITHOUT beans. That is all.
on a texas-sized spin dizzy
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
on a thermonuclear device, you know, so Obama will bow to them like he does Iran and North Korea.
to help bail out California as (soon-to-be) mandated by the Federal government.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
on Hookers and blow. The rest it will just waste.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
before the Feds get their greedy paws on it.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
rather than give back to the taxpayers. I’m sensing a disturbance in the force as if millions of conservatives suddenly cried out in anguish.
….making sure death sentences are carried out
..on a permanent business intake facility in California.
On US savings bonds because they like the idea of Uncle Sam owing them money.
…beans for their chili
…on administrative costs for the implementation of Obamacare.
.. on secession. If they’re smirt.
…on relocating to New Zealand
…on nuking the moon
…on giving Obama a tour of its many book depositories and grassy knolls
… on a nationwide ad campaign for “Bloomberg Control”
…as it damn well pleases pard’ner!
…on weaponizing chili.
…on the world’s biggest belt buckle.
-In the shape of Texas.
-And the size of Texas.
-It will be worn by Chuck Norris.
Texas is running an $8 billion surplus, which it will spend…
on alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and explosives! Gonna be a great Juneteenth!
…on Obama’s spend on spending program.
… constructing its own intercontinental ballistic missile capable of wiping out Pyongyang.
Austin Korea Threat
Payload will consist of Chuck Norris.
On Bluebonnets, Chicken Fried Steak and Shiner Beer!
on Securing their Northern Borders!
On securing their Northern Border from New Yorkers and
their Western Border from Californians!
on a campaign to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of Texas
…to build the world’s largest cast iron skillet, then buy enough bacon for the entire state population, then launch the new Texas ad campaign ” Obamacare for you, BACON for Texas!!!”
…to design and manufacture the “Mexipault”, designed for returning illegal aliens back to Mexico in a safe, efficient, yet entertaining fashion
…on a pork detection system to be used in all BBQ places, since they already know, a pig has no business being involved with BBQ
…to create a statewide pipeline system for delivering sriracha hot sauce to every house
…to enhance their appreciation of both kinds of music; country AND western!
…to build a giant “laser” and launch it into orbit on a “satellite” to then hold the world hostage by threatening to burn a hole through the earth’s crust and release hot “magma”….
Erecting a fence to keep out left wing liberal, tin foil hat wearing, eco-nazi, rainbow defecating unicorn loving former hippies from trying to horn on (like they have almost anywhere they’ve ever been) the good life Texans have carved out for themselves.
… on shade…
. . . on remembering the alimony.
. . . on paying Harvey to destroy all internet copies of “Fun Facts About the Fifty States – Texas.”
. . . on Cowboys cheerleaders. It’s good to be a legislator!
@19: SNORRRRRT-!Cough!Cough!Cough!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11!
Please! Not while I’m eating!!!
On building a giant Scales of Justice statue in which the scales are balanced on the tip of an upraised middle finger situated in such a way as to look as if it is facing D.C.
On a giant, long range tunnel boring device to get their gold out of Fort Knox without all that danged paperwork and delays.